So... don't know if I'm really terrified or not... but I think I've had my first experience(s) with sleep paralysis. But I'm not really sure?
About a week ago, I was reminded of the
pseudo-documentary about sleep paralysis coincidentally by two different sources on the same day, which I still haven't got around to watching. Got me thinking about the subject, which I've found interesting since I first learned about it.
I'm not sure if it was that same night or the next... but I woke up in the middle of the night. I was dreaming. Nothing extraordinary. Just a random dream about mundane stuff. And suddenly realized that even though the dream was still running, I was conscious. Fully awake. Dream ended at that point, and I was laying there with my eyes closed awake. This happens to me once in a while. Usually, I never even open my eyes. Just continue to lay there and fall back asleep in a few minutes.
This time I realized after a couple minutes that my eyes were shut really tight, like my body was bracing for something. Then suddenly I just knew... I was about to experience sleep paralysis for the first time. Even though I wasn't experiencing anything, my body was already aware of it, and my conscious mind could tell 100% what was about to happen by observing my body's independent behavior.
And I was definitely fully conscious. Thinking clearly. Didn't feel groggy or anything. Breathing normally. No weird sensations. I began logically analyzing the situation as soon as realization set in, consciously thinking "This is actually really cool! I'll finally get to see what this stuff is like, and I'm fully aware of what's going on, so it won't be a random terror event like for most people." I knew that paralysis was part of the experience, so I confirmed I was able to move by wiggling my extremities and shifted my legs a bit... but I didn't want to throw off the experience, so I didn't dare move around too much. I knew it was strange that I could move.
And then it happened. That overwhelming sense of an evil presence flew in behind me, with a feeling of tangible pressure and a raspy female voice that just said "Well....." and trailed off. Not a hag-like voice. A whispery sinister vocal style similar to Evelynn from League of Legends. Following the voice was several seconds of what could best be described as dozens of soft bubbles of evil throwing themselves against the back of my neck, accompanied by a deep droning sound. And that was it.
I laid there for a few more minutes thinking about how cool that was. Proud of myself that I could calmly lay there and let all that happen without any real fear. Then got up and walked around for a bit, because I knew I still wouldn't be able to get back to sleep unless I did something to shake off that experience.
Now... every night since then, I have woken up exactly once in the middle of the night. Every time, I wonder "wait... is it going to happen again?" And it takes me longer than normal to get back to sleep.
Lastnight, I woke up again... and without any physical cues, I had that sense of certainty that it was going to happen again. So I laid there, waiting. Opened my eyes and looked around. Tossed and turned. Not sure how long I waited, but it felt like a really long time. Definitely fully conscious and moving freely. When something finally happened, it was much different from before. I was just laying there thinking about mundane unrelated stuff while waiting to either fall back asleep or experience something, and before any feeling of anything began to approach, I noticed my heart rate elevating and breathing getting more intense. And as this happened, I felt that same presence... but approaching slowly from further away. I felt like my body's reaction was directly inviting the thing and I did not like the physical panic response that was going on that had not been a feature before. So I thought, "I'm going to mental discipline the shit out of this and learn to control it." So I began forcing myself to focus my thoughts on unrelated things (work, family, texture of the blanket, scenes from a show, etc) and slow my heartbeat. I did this quite successfully, and the sense of presence receded... for a while... but it didn't completely disappear and soon I felt it begin to fight and push harder towards me.
And thus began what felt like an epic battle of wills with some evil presence trying to force itself on me. I would re-double my focus on a specific thought and slow my breathing and heartbeat way down... and then I'd get comfortable, and it would take advantage of that drop in guard to force itself towards me even harder. At a few points, I felt like it was straining and reaching out to lightly touch the back of my neck with its fingers, and it felt like a huge physical effort that had me gushing with sweat to get control of my breathing, heartbeat, and thought focus to push it away again. This felt like it went on for like half an hour. And again, I could definitely move, and did so a fair amount through the whole thing... but I didn't dare to open my eyes and turn around to potentially face whatever it was, because I felt like I would lose control of the fight if I did so. Finally, it faded away. I got up for a bit again, and it was really hard to get back to sleep. I never looked at the time, but I feel like I was up for a couple hours.
This is going to kill me if it starts happening every night. And I'm weirded out that both these experiences really seem like they've happened not when I'm falling asleep or waking up... but when I've been awake for a while and my body is not shut down and paralyzed for sleep. Need to put something by my bed that I can check the time on, so I can see if my wake-ups are always at the same time. I feel like they probably are.
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Topic: Things that made you absolutely terrified today (Read 1962392 times)