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[Atian the Elephantman God]

I will tell you the tale of Fredegar Fredegar(Yes thats his name). Fredegar just entered the Dark Souls Realm and had just begun training in the tutorial he met his first zombie! Fredegar got 1 hit and then the zombie killed Fredegar.

The End

[SOLDIER First]

Why did you go fight the other one? You only need to kill the one on the right.

tell that to past me

[TheDarkStar]

I will tell you the tale of Fredegar Fredegar(Yes thats his name). Fredegar just entered the Dark Souls Realm and had just begun training in the tutorial he met his first zombie! Fredegar got 1 hit and then the zombie killed Fredegar.

The End

Truly, a tale for the ages.

[Rolan7]

My explorer, Terrance Phillip, set forth to claim the treasures of the New World.  Specifically the Amazon, and he had to hurry because the Chinese and Russians were coming.

He got mauled by jaguars.  His settlers proceeded to build a flourishing colony and import a thick red line of redcoat musketeers, who provided cover for their Ottoman allies (who declared independence from Istanbul, not Constantinople).

My explorer always dies fast but it really doesn't seem to matter.  It's not a real "death" and I eventually rescue him to build trade posts, but meh.

Age of Empires 3 with my brother.  He loves the artillery, I handle economy and support.
... And I gotta say, those 30-ft long bombard cannons are damn sexy.

[AzyWng]

I was being chased by the cops when a police bike ran me over, stopped right in front of me after I was knocked down, and I got arrested.

GTA: SA.

[SOLDIER First]

Entered the Capra Demon's lair with Great / Heavy / Soul Arrow (the latter missing one charge), and 9 Estus +1 charges left.
Instantly blocked by dog, attacked, instantly hit by jumping attack. Dead.
This is a new fucking record.

Dark Souls

[edit] Boy oh fucking boy, do I love getting stunlocked to death and not even getting a hit in three times in a row!

[heydude6]

Since you are a sorcerer, you should get the aural decoy spell. It works extremly well against Capra.

[SOLDIER First]

Nah, I actually managed to kill the dogs and then kite Capra hours ago.
Currently switching between said Sorcerer, a Thief, and a Hunter (less frequently with my Knight, the only past the Depths so far).

[Greiger]

My host got invaded, the invader kept running among mobs for protection and I just kept sniping the mobs out from range (bow build yo).  Only the inside areas got tricky, but still managed to push the invader's back to the boss room fog wall.

The host was working with me for awhile, understandibly playing very conservatively, they were also using a bow, but must have been a lower level than me or something because it took them far more shots to kill the same mobs I killed in one or two shots.  They ended up dissapearing for a bit but I had a little bloodlust at this point of the invader just wasting so much of my time I assumed they were just looting rooms.

The invader and me started fighting it out for realzies. Bow main hand, rapier off hand. I was planning on mixing it up and whipping out my main hand spear, when suddenly out of nowhere the host dies.  I have no idea what they died to.  My best guess is that they took one of the side paths, and got wrecked by the fat polearm knight or something.

Dark Souls 3

[Yoink]

A desert ranger, a desert ranger, a desert ranger and Tommy Pickles walk into a bar...
Surprisingly enough, despite being in a mostly-abandoned little town that seemed to be populated solely by bandits and thugs, the bar was quite busy, with dancers on stage and everything. The party wandered up to the stage, trying to get their bearings and see what mischief they could get up to, but then we climbed up onto the stage, scared away the strippers, and were attacked by a bunch of bouncers.

So we murder the fuck out of them without much trouble, then go to steal the shit lying on stage... only to then be surrounded by a mob of angry patrons, who begin pelting us with rotten fruit and demanding we entertain them instead now that we've scared off their entertainment.

Now, my party are more into "indiscriminate murder" than "stand-up comedy" or "erotic dancing", so this quickly turned into a problem. Again and again they tried various forms of performance, only for the crowd to react poorly and throw more fruit. I'm not sure where they got so much fruit in the middle of a barren fucking wasteland, but oh well. Wherever the fruit came from, it hurts pretty damn bad.

Now we're pinned down on stage in the most bizarre stand-off ever.
Occasionally one of my troops will quickly stand up and bust out a few clumsy dance moves, or Ms. Deth will open her mouth to tell a few bad jokes, and Mr. Razor even tried a few knife-throwing tricks and some tumbling, but nothing impresses and they are inevitably knocked unconscious by a barrage of fruit.

I don't think we'll be escaping this any time soon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wasteland (the original)

[SOLDIER First]

Throw knives at the patrons?

[AzyWng]

Throw knives at the patrons?

Sigged.

[Akura]

Spent a full alert playing with an incredibly fun platoon. Our faction managed to have 45%+ percent of Amerish by the end of it. The final battle was fending off a large NC assault at Heyoka Tech Plant during a lagstorm of 7000ms server latency for some - even though they had the advantage, the alert would be over before the base could flip and we had enough VPs to lock when it ended. Spent the last minute of the alert trying to find a way to the top of the Tech Plant where the turrets are because the platoon leader said the enemy had hacked the guns. By the time I got up there, the situation had been dealt with and the alert ended.

I decided to celebrate by firing my pistol into the ceiling, then jumping off the platform to faceplant into the wing of a squadmate's Galaxy, dying a third of the way before hitting the ground. :}

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Planetside 2.

[itisnotlogical]

I think Waste Processing is even worse than Xen for platforming. In Xen, at least the platforms are relatively large and flat IIRC; in Waste Processing the footholds are very small with sloped edges, and they're usually moving to boot. Not to mention that Gordon's feet have absolutely no traction, so you can't find purchase unless you land on a perfectly level surface, with enough room to come to a complete stop so you don't slide off again. You'd think the HEV suit would come with some non-slip boots

Half-Life.

[Tawa]

Oh god, I hated that place. Is HL2 better about the platforming at all?
Anywho, today I was ambushed by a Unique bird seven levels higher than me and died horribly, because I was trying to finish exploring Gaur Plain. At least I got to see some awesome scenery porn for a moment beforehand :I

Xenoblade Chronicles.