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Author Topic: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever  (Read 52607 times)

Agent_Irons

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #150 on: July 26, 2011, 10:10:02 am »

I had a Corrupted Blood Man break into my fort almost right away(I opened the first cavern layer pretty quickly), and I was, of course, terrified.

In one hit he was bisected and the sundry parts distributed about the workshop level. And then his blood didn't even cause a syndrome!
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Brackev

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #151 on: July 26, 2011, 10:15:53 am »

Goblins enter stage left.
1/2 of the Goblins get caged.
Human Caravan guard shoots one in the foot.
My army kills the limping Gob.
Goblins exit stage right.
The End.
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UberNube

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #152 on: July 26, 2011, 10:35:22 am »

My fort had descended into a full on tantrum spiral after my woefully unprepared military came up against multiple ambush groups and got slaughtered. Everyone was punching each other and the people were going melancholy/berserk all over the place. These were generally easily dealt with by the caravan guards who were currently in the depot or by the 2 or 3 people who I had recruited to deal with such problems. However, then my legendary miner went berserk. He killed everyone except the small group of wounded with the doctor sheltering in the hospital. Then, while he was wandering the halls, a yak calf comes up to him and kicks him in the head, instantly killing him.
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flieroflight

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #153 on: July 26, 2011, 11:52:23 am »

FB enters. One lone crossbowman decides to face it, armed with some bone bolts. First bolt hits FB and bruises it's brain. End of FB.

But I don't mind anticlimatic. I've had tons where FB comes in, all it's appendages are hacked off and it still proceeds to hump everyone to death, including all doors, chairs and tables.
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Kyr

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #154 on: October 04, 2013, 10:09:17 pm »

Recently had a whole 16-goblin siege killed by 4 stray cats... O_O
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Bludulukus

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #155 on: October 04, 2013, 10:35:39 pm »

Enekel the Lizard man VS the giant tick FB

Enekel the Lizard man deftly evades all the tick's attacks, killing it with a single kick to the head.

The giant tick's dead body lands on Enekel's head, killing him.
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pbnjoe

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #156 on: October 04, 2013, 11:03:12 pm »

Singular dwarf accidentally locked outside with all the livestock of the entire fort, and a flying invader with I believe some sort of spittle.

Dwarf shoots it out of the sky in a single shot with a crossbow that I don't remember giving him, making it nose-dive into the river.

...

Opened the gate and let him back in.

Just looked earlier in the thread and realized this thread is three years old :O
« Last Edit: October 08, 2013, 02:11:36 am by pbnjoe »
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mirrizin

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #157 on: October 05, 2013, 06:47:29 pm »

Human caravan and diplomat show up. Two goblin squads show up. The one kills the diplomat, the other gets creamed by the human guards. All of this happens before they even come within range of my militia.
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itg

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #158 on: October 05, 2013, 08:48:24 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My marksdwarves launched half a volley at a flying FB. All shots missed, but it dodged out of the air and dashed its brains out on the cavern floor.

Shoruke

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #159 on: October 05, 2013, 10:23:52 pm »

A skeletal dragon showed up at my fort. It roasted one of the woodcutters and a few trees, I closed off the airtight fortress gate, and when the dragon got to the closed gate and stumbled around confused for a few moments, I focused my attention on something else for a moment. I went to check on it... and it was gone.

Panicked, I looked for it. It wasn't on the surface. It wasn't on the unit list, either... it was in the stock screen, though. Under "skulls". Puzzled, I zoomed to the location of that skull, hoping to figure out what had killed it...

It was in the bottom of the volcano. I think it had tried to infiltrate the fortress through the magma forges and failed. I don't know if it overestimated its ability to breathe magma or to resist heat, but either way I was a little sad not to get the bones from that dragon.
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UristMcDwarf

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #160 on: October 06, 2013, 09:10:32 pm »

Some ettin wandered onto fort grounds, and a miner gored it with his pick. By the time he had finished it off, it was vomiting and trying to crawl away.
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Nyxalinth

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #161 on: October 06, 2013, 09:31:40 pm »

I had a siege of 45 goblins all riding jabberers, and I was prepared to lose my entire 15 dwarf army, but only three died, and two were from diving off the cliff into magma.

I had a similar invasion.  First shot of the battle, my elite crossbowman took out their leader.  They all ran away.
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Kyr

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #162 on: October 20, 2013, 08:24:25 pm »

Adventurer mode, had a task very early on to kill a sea serpent. Unfraid, I ventured north, ready to kill or to die. So I go to the lair, take one step...

"Sea Serpent has drowned"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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acetech09

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #163 on: October 20, 2013, 10:59:38 pm »

Adventurer mode, had a task very early on to kill a sea serpent. Unfraid, I ventured north, ready to kill or to die. So I go to the lair, take one step...

"Sea Serpent has drowned"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That's actually pretty interesting. Didn't know that sea serpents could become histfigs, because there's nothing notable in the water to kill. But obviously, the game's reaction to any creature becoming a histfig is to give it a land-based lair. Poor serpent.
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Kyr

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #164 on: October 22, 2013, 08:32:19 pm »

Adventurer mode, had a task very early on to kill a sea serpent. Unfraid, I ventured north, ready to kill or to die. So I go to the lair, take one step...

"Sea Serpent has drowned"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That's actually pretty interesting. Didn't know that sea serpents could become histfigs, because there's nothing notable in the water to kill. But obviously, the game's reaction to any creature becoming a histfig is to give it a land-based lair. Poor serpent.
I was using Masterwork, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it....
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