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Author Topic: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever  (Read 53093 times)

Tastysaurus Rex

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #135 on: December 30, 2010, 07:59:01 pm »

My fisherdwarf got ambushed by Goblins. One, specifically. It was unconscious and missing both of its feet. What?
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helf

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #136 on: December 30, 2010, 08:07:59 pm »

I was playing as a demigod adventurer a few days ago. I had been extremely successful. I had taken out several night creatures, several bandits and everyone loved me. I had multiple layers of extremely good armor by then. I was given a quest to go kill a Troll wife by some Lady. I find the lair, storm into it with my band of 19 mace/axe/sword/bow dwarfs and immediately get slaughtered by FIVE trolls in the lair. I've never seen more than one in one place before. They swarmed me and smashed my brains in before my bowdorf could get a shot off and then proceeded to kill every single one of my compatriots.

Anticlimactic end to my best adventurer ;(
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trillioneyes

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #137 on: July 25, 2011, 09:01:07 pm »

I had just slain a bronze colossus, taking something like a month and training several dabbling dwarves to skilled (the ones that didn't die, anyway). While I was fighting it four parties of goblin ambushers attacked. By the end of that battle I had lost about half of my military. The ones that survived were as gods.
A giantess wanders onto the map. Wondering if this might be the end, I sent my most hardened squad out alone, hoping the other two might have at least a little time to visit the hospital.
Thirty seconds later, the giantess was dead. She didn't even get in a single attack.
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zehive

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #138 on: July 25, 2011, 09:16:20 pm »

my swords dwarf champion, legendary +5 in dodging, armor using, swords, shields, all those !!fun!! combat skills. Shes equipped with an exceptional adamantine shortsword, in full masterwork steel armor. I unleash the circus, my two squads hold the two split sides of the pit over the magma pipe, while my marksdwarves stand at the back firing. She runs foward, and is then immediately caught in a cloud of flame and bleeds to death.


omg.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2011, 09:46:44 pm by zehive »
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Carpman

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #139 on: July 25, 2011, 09:30:07 pm »

I had just slain a bronze colossus, taking something like a month and training several dabbling dwarves to skilled (the ones that didn't die, anyway). While I was fighting it four parties of goblin ambushers attacked. By the end of that battle I had lost about half of my military. The ones that survived were as gods.
A giantess wanders onto the map. Wondering if this might be the end, I sent my most hardened squad out alone, hoping the other two might have at least a little time to visit the hospital.
Thirty seconds later, the giantess was dead. She didn't even get in a single attack.
NECROOOOO
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Casp

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #140 on: July 25, 2011, 09:33:04 pm »

When I was a baby dwarf fortress player, I didn't know anything about Titans or Forgotten beast. My first Titan? A giant humanoid made of snow.

When I see him come, I begin to panic, thinking of all the unspeakable horrors that it may unleash upon my fortress. So, I order my militia to go outside and face this monstrosity, fully expecting this, massive, icy horror, this behemoth of cold white death, this monster of frost, to wipe them out. As they filter out the gate, I pause and say a personal goodbye to each of the fifteen brave souls, commending them for their courage, rallying them to their greatest feats of strength and skill, weeping for their tiny, digital lives. They charge in open battle across the plains, a mighty war cry escaping from their lips. The titan, the embodiment of death, turned hate filled eyes on them, and it's rage for all things warm blooded drove it to charge, roaring at the brave defenders. With a mighty clash, the two forces join in an epic confrontation, lasting for pages and pages, a maelstrom of snow and blood and steel and flesh! A twister of screams; screams of the agonized, those laying shattered on the ground, broken, those bleeding out, weeping for the beauty of the underground halls they shall never see again, crying out to loved ones whose touch they shall never feel. And the screams of the victorious; those who are left standing to cheer for their victory over the icy abomination, those who are left to celebrate and sing and feast to their mighty victory, those who will go down in the annals of Udirnazush as the heroes of Blackblood!

...

Nah, just kidding. An axedwarf bisected the guy with a single punch. Made of snow, after all.
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franti

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #141 on: July 25, 2011, 10:12:23 pm »

I embarked on one of those tunnels with tons of kobolds on them, and they kept bothering me so I gave two farmers Wooden Bucklers and Obsidian Swords and sent them out. The first one died immediately, the second killed EIGHT without a scratch almost immediately, then went on to kill the rest. On the way out of the tunnel, a Naked Mole Dog tore his leg off.
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BeforeLifer

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #142 on: July 25, 2011, 10:27:37 pm »

I had my Epic advencher who had full metal armor of various types and I come across a Skilled Bandet with a few kills to his name. So I charge him, he counterstrikes, Bashes my foot to dust, and I pass out... Gota love hammermen>.>
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franti

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #143 on: July 25, 2011, 10:38:08 pm »

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
They ARE gods, but even gods fear the dwarves. All gods but the carp god, that is. he fears nothing.
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Adamantine, Steel, Pig Iron, Iron, Bronze, Bismuth Bronze, Platinum, Brass, Black Bronze, Billon, Rose Gold, Electrum, Bismuth, Aluminum, Gold, Copper, Tin, Sterling Silver, Silver, Nickel, Zinc, Lead, Nickel Silver, Trifle Pewter, Fine Pewter, Lay Pewter.

Hitty40

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #144 on: July 25, 2011, 10:45:16 pm »

When I started a new fort, Immediately I an besieged by noobs (Yes, I found a raw on the forums for a noob race, they all carried copper armor/weapons). So with my only hammerman in full iron, I sent him out to kill them. Of course, he did, only losing 4 of his toes and getting his left arm ripped off.
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franti

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #145 on: July 25, 2011, 10:49:15 pm »

Also, once had a flying forgotten beast with poisonous blood. My army went out to kill it, it flew up, and a nearby Cave Fish Woman shot it in the eye with a blowdart.
It killed it instantly. Right above my army. Poisonous blood.
Yeah.
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Adamantine, Steel, Pig Iron, Iron, Bronze, Bismuth Bronze, Platinum, Brass, Black Bronze, Billon, Rose Gold, Electrum, Bismuth, Aluminum, Gold, Copper, Tin, Sterling Silver, Silver, Nickel, Zinc, Lead, Nickel Silver, Trifle Pewter, Fine Pewter, Lay Pewter.

qoou

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #146 on: July 25, 2011, 11:41:05 pm »

Pyramiding is fine by me (I think it looks cool), it's just yelling. Also, there are no trolls here methinks; we creep them out by discussing how to best harvest merperson bones and extract goblin brains.

Yes there are. Once you've been here a while you'll see plenty.

[HINT: They mostly hang out in GD and Forum Games.]

How sad; one of the first things I noticed about this forum is that there was no trolling anywhere in sight :) (other than HFS trolling, but that's different).


A while back in my current fort, I had a Cyclops arrive in the middle of a nasty siege (a couple of goblin lashers, while I had no armor; my fortress had found at least a couple hundred gold ore, but apart from two ores of tetrahedrite absolutely no other metals). Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, I ordered what was left of my military to retreat, and locked the front doors.

The Cyclops charged straight at my front doors. On the way there he found the goblin lashers. One scourge hit, and the Cyclops was blind. The goblins then proceeded to horribly torture the Cyclops as he tried to run back off the map. They kept him alive for more than a month. I actually managed to sneak out of my fortress and recover military equipment, that's how focused they were on torturing the poor Cyclops.
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Z1000000m

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #147 on: July 26, 2011, 03:48:12 am »

Im building a city-carved-out-of-the-mountain thing right now, so I sometimes leave my pc and do something else while my miner dig.
( Dangerous, since my embark is half terrifying, half joyous wilds and skeletal yaks can gore through steel armor) I once left it thinking that a caravan that was boud to show up any day will pause the game anyway. I come back and its 3 months later, 10 rotten capybaras near my makeshift fort, no dwarfs dead. Doubting that for 3 months there were no zombie invasions, I checked the combat logs. Of course, there was a skeletal giant eagle disturbing my miners once again. As it turns out, it severed a foot from my miner, miner did the same to him with his pick and that is the end of the story. Noone died/redied for some reason. Miner got a crutch and just works casually.
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jaxy15

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #148 on: July 26, 2011, 03:58:25 am »

Once a giant crocodile FB appeared.
I sent my military to take care of it.
A marksdwarf ran towards the beast, and I thought "I'll go prepare a coffin, sorry bro."
Then suddenly..
"The flying iron bolt strikes the Forgotten Beast in the head, blah blah blah and bruising the brain!"
Then the marksdwarf named his crossbow.
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shadenight123

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #149 on: July 26, 2011, 05:03:58 am »

siege comes, i raise bridge.
sieges stay, i order bridge down for traps.
i smash half the siege because bridge is long and wide.
siege is lifted.
*power of the bridges*
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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.
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