Someone came up to me in a Walmart parking lot. I originally saw him while I was walking into the store surrounded by police and EMTs asking if he wanted to go to the hospital, while he looked physically fine. He approached me as I was getting ready to leave, after getting out of a pickup truck that was also surrounded by police when I first arrived.
Within five minutes he:
Complemented on how clean my car looked, and asked me if I could wash his car.
Said he'd wash my car for me, after I pointed out some stains on my trunk.
Asked me where I was from.
Told my friend to listen faster and me to talk slower so that we could understand eachother.
Kept asking for permission for basic things, like approaching, or leaning on my trunk, or using my car door as a wind block to light a cigarrete
Invited us to go smoke weed with him. At a funeral.
Said something about doing cocaine, following it up with "I came to the coke capital of the U.S. to get clean of doing coke, god bless."
Asked me my opinion of Jesus, before reaching down, tapping my feet and saying "He'd wash your feet"
Asked my friend what race he was, my friend jokingly said he was black (he's not, just a tan hispanic but could be mistaken for being brown), to which the (very white) guy said, "I'm black too, my nigga!" and then pulled him into a complex handshake that my friend struggled with
I complained about the breach in social distancing to which he responded by offering my friend a hug, saying "we're black, that don't matter."
Not on him, but my friend actually hugged him. That just peeved me a bit.
Asked us if we wanted coke, because he knew a guy.
Told us his address and phone number, asked to hang out with us some time.
Said he was rich, and my friend commented on the three gold chains he's wearing and he said he killed a guy for those. (But he was just kidding. Hopefully.)
Complained about someone named Paul, that we should totally know because we're from New Jersey.
Plugged his Instagram, repeatedly.
Then he walked away while still talking to us. We just left.
All within five minutes. It was really hard to follow the conversation, especially when I'm too worried about this guy probably being sick with more than just Corona. His instagram is just as weird as he is, with random snapshots of various busty women, chatlogs, and for some reason an armored truck that he's behind in traffic.