Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Steelmagic]

They always just encourage me to cheat on my wife in broken English. I don't even have a wife.

[Reelya]

I don't even have a wife.

... any more.

[Neonivek]

You know what often annoys me in fiction?

Well the Audience knows the secret so I don't have to hide it anymore

There is this weird trend where someone will have a secret and the moment the audience finds out, typically through the main character doing so, then all of a sudden they will drop all secrecy... Even if the secrecy is still relevant.

Like one where this boss has a child, who can transform into an adult, as a protector... but the second she was found out the child never appears as an adult again... Even though the whole point of the secret wasn't for our hero it was because people would think she was a pedo or something...

I am trying to think of a more mainstream example of this to help people.

I don't even have a wife.

... any more.

STAY IN MY LIIIIIFE

[Silverthrone]

They always just encourage me to cheat on my wife in broken English. I don't even have a wife.

I saw an advert once that tried to shift a Muslim bride to me, for reasons unknown. It seems an awfully tacky and unprecise way to arrange a good marriage for a start, and I am not quite the intended recipient for the service. At all. I do not think that whatever bride they had in mind would like to be saddled with a Norse infidel and madman. Last, but not least, it would be very depressing to effectively buy your wife by mail order, surely?

My local paper website is, at present, offering a gym membership, a "trail challenge" fitness... Thing, and also a new boat from the boat dealership. The other local paper is offering a position as a paper boy, but I believe I might be too old to apply.

Man, I wish people would offer me shirts. Usually it's male enhancement or urgent action regarding an account I didn't know I had.

I do not wear printed shirts, or T-shirts in general, other than perhaps as an undergarment, but it just seems rude to decline, if you are given one. If I took every opportunity where people will lavish you with shirts, I would not be able to move for shirts. (Of course, I could always mail that surplus to you)
I do not think I have ever gotten a male enchancement offer in my life, which is rather reassuring. I do not know what metric they use when they dole out these adverts, but it is pleasant to know that they do not, even theoretically, concern themselves about my downstairs.

[Jopax]

I think a part of my dream included a bit about Trump and a wall/electric fence or something. God fucking damn he's become so ever present that he's seeping into my dreams now. For fucks sake 'murica, get your god damn shit together so the rest of the world doesn't have to put up with it.

[Flying Dice]

Does android Trump dream of electric fences?

[overseer05-15]

So how 'bout them Souper Bowl commercials?
Buschhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Hanslanda]

(they skewered my vein last time I tried to give blood)

So, is that a reason to learn things like first aid?

From my previous MedTech experience, this can happen even with people who are skilled (Veins roll and it's like viewing from satellite to earth, sometimes it may appear in one place at first but isn't as the skin and anything in between is like cloud cover), although obviously a ton rarer by trained professionals. [Note for future MT students--3rd year = venipuncture year! ]

And there can be a ton more reasons to learn things like first aid than being able to draw blood well. You'll be causing a lot less pain to the recipient as well as being able to socialize with them through and alongside taking care of them.

I had a 20+ years experience nurse screw up and have to repoke me when I first gave blood, twice. It happens. Best thing to do? Sit very still, remain calm and relaxed, and ignore the pain, because it's NOWHERE NEAR as bad as you think it is. Needles are genuinely not that bad.

I think a part of my dream included a bit about Trump and a wall/electric fence or something. God fucking damn he's become so ever present that he's seeping into my dreams now. For fucks sake 'murica, get your god damn shit together so the rest of the world doesn't have to put up with it.

WE'RE TRYING MATE. I JUST CAN'T GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SHOOT THE PRICK, AND I FAILED BOMB-MAKING SCHOOL TWICE NOW BECAUSE OF MATH.

[Arx]

When I went in for surgery the other day, the anaesthetist had to take two goes because the first vein wouldn't draw from the drip for whatever reason. It happens.


Apparently there is no brand capable of competently doing a powdered soup. I know it's a tall order when you think about it, but I'd hoped to get something that doesn't thicken until it feels like you're slurping down mucus.

[Neonivek]

Apparently there is no brand capable of competently doing a powdered soup. I know it's a tall order when you think about it, but I'd hoped to get something that doesn't thicken until it feels like you're slurping down mucus.

There are a few... but the ones I am thinking of aren't thick soups.

[overseer05-15]

Sore muscle, so I put maxheat goo on it

Suddenly, chemical burns

[Hanslanda]

Oh, I almost forgot. Two days ago the freezers at work failed. All the frozen foods thawed and were removed from the freezers. The next day (That's 24 hours thawed so far), the boss and his lickspittle decided to put the thawed food outside in the sun while they juggled stuff out of other freezers. Then they decided to put the fucking food back in the fucking freezers and sell it to the fucking public.

I called the FDA, because holy fucking shit. That's CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE. People could DIE.

[overseer05-15]

Oh, I almost forgot. Two days ago the freezers at work failed. All the frozen foods thawed and were removed from the freezers. The next day (That's 24 hours thawed so far), the boss and his lickspittle decided to put the thawed food outside in the sun while they juggled stuff out of other freezers. Then they decided to put the fucking food back in the fucking freezers and sell it to the fucking public.

I called the FDA, because holy fucking shit. That's CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE. People could DIE.

God, that's bad. Where do you work? And lickspittle? Where did you find that?

[IcyTea31]

Apparently there is no brand capable of competently doing a powdered soup. I know it's a tall order when you think about it, but I'd hoped to get something that doesn't thicken until it feels like you're slurping down mucus.

The trick is not to use them as instructed on the package, but as you would use broth cubes. Onion soup powder, for example, is pretty good when mixed into meatballs.

[Hanslanda]

Oh, I almost forgot. Two days ago the freezers at work failed. All the frozen foods thawed and were removed from the freezers. The next day (That's 24 hours thawed so far), the boss and his lickspittle decided to put the thawed food outside in the sun while they juggled stuff out of other freezers. Then they decided to put the fucking food back in the fucking freezers and sell it to the fucking public.

I called the FDA, because holy fucking shit. That's CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE. People could DIE.

God, that's bad. Where do you work? And lickspittle? Where did you find that?

Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. A character constantly is saying, "I'M NOT YOUR BOOT-LICK" and it reminded me of the old word lickspittle. Somewhat analogous to ass-kisser, brown-noser, or other modern variations of the phrase.

And yeah, I work at a grocery store that I shall not name for the time being.