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[Tack]

I'd like to think I'd be a green card.

[Frumple]

... is that an oblique way of saying you're shopping for russian brides or somethin'? Or grooms, I guess.

Actually, I'm now kinda' curious if there's been any same-sex green card marriages in the states yet...

[hector13]

I'd like to think I'd be a green card.

I'd like to have a green card.

Alas...

[Frumple]

There may be a solution here. Your russian spouse is here, Tack. Your chance to be a green card has arrived!

[hector13]

There is an advert for a "addiction clinic" of which the founder says "this isn't a twelve-step program. I would know; I was an addict for ten years. Now I'm not."

Well that settles that then.

[Egan_BW]

addiction to what

[smirk]

Eh, you just have to find the right country. I'm pretty sure there's somewhere that has a legal framework for consensual dismemberment,

It could have been Germany, but then they had to go and actually convict Armin Meiwes. The barbarians.

[Rolan7]

There is an advert for a "addiction clinic" of which the founder says "this isn't a twelve-step program. I would know; I was an addict for ten years. Now I'm not."

Well that settles that then.

Might be a reference to "12-step programs" starting with you being an addict, and ending with you being an addict with religion.
Really though, they emphasize "Once an addict always an addict".  Nobody can ever overcome addiction, they can only hold it off by staying with a religious community and trusting in God.

So maybe this person's claiming to have an actual solution.  Do they?  Who knows, but at least it isn't AA.

[hector13]

Having looked into it a little, I don't think so. It's essentially a spa.

[Flying Dice]

at least it isn't AA.

[pisskop]

one vice for another

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

What the fuck.

+! Unholy hellscape. Why the hell was she treated like this!?!? Has anybody read the link before starting the argument?

[smjjames]

Geeze, the 'update to windows 10!!! PLZ!!!!1!!1!' thing is getting extremely obnoxious. Instead of the usual windows update popup, it went into a windows 8 style screen which made me think an error happened for a second, but nope. It doesn't make me want to get windows 10 if that's what MS thinks how psychology works.

Naturally, I clicked 'don't ask me again'.......

[NobodyPro]

The spambots that know my primary email address seem to have given up on their promising careers in law and finance and have turned to religion.

My Dear Friend , I want you to note that i don't know you and i don't even know who you are or where you come from but the Lord whom i serve is so loving and helpful as he never forget his own people i want you to know that i have been thinking of what to do over this funds for some period of years now simply because i know that the money is of no use to me any longer simply because of the stage at which my cancer has gotten. I am a very prayerful person and it was when i was praying sometimes ago that the Lord revealed to me i don't know if i should call it a dream or a vision i was told that i should go into the world and bless the world with what the almighty God has used in blessing i and my late husband. The vision seems so terrific and i was so bothered that i had a day fasting and prayer over it and someone in my church then interpret the meaning of my dreams to me telling me that i am having something which is in need in the world and he want me to use it to bless the world and the person asked me to think very well because it is the voice of the Lord that has spoken to me and all that. I searched myself very well and i get to remember that i am having the fund which i and my husband had labored for so many years and i contacted the security company as the beneficiary of the funds and i was confirmed the owner of the funds and am asked to come around and get it exactly when am ready to but i should made awareness of when i will be coming so that proper arrangement would be made then but it is a pity i cant go which you know. I had another dream which made me realize that i must not be in possession of the money and i should go into the world and look for someone in the world to distribute the funds in a Godly manner. So i decided to search with the name related to a woman who took very good care of me when i was dump by my runaway parents. i was brought up in a motherless baby home and so i told my nurse to help me get an Internet account after that i decided to search i got about 1065 profiles and i prayed over it and you know whats funny ? among all the profiles i chose it was yours that the Lord has chosen to distribute this funds as a sacrifice from the lord to the world. It is a means of you been committed to the Lord and this will make you move closer to him as well and i am very sure that he must certainly have a reason why he want you to do this on his behalf please be strong and have faith in yourself and in me and make me realize that you will do it just because i know you can do it and i see you doing it right among everyone else.... Hope i read from you soonest and please make sure that you never forget me in your prayers kindly get back to me thanks and God bless you and your household make a prayer over it and you will smell it around you the Lord will not come down to call his own people he will send someone to you now he has sent me to you. God bless you abundantly..........in his riches..................Amen

My Beloved In God.

Greetings in the name of our lord Jesus Christ. i am Mrs Elizabeth Anna Johnson from Bahrain, a widow to late Dr. A. Johnson . l am 51 years old and a coveted born again Christian, suffering from long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my condition is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I might not live more than two (2) months, according to my doctor because the cancer has gotten to a very worst / dangerous stage.

My late husband and my only child died last five years ago, his death was politically motivated. My late husband was a very rich and wealthy business man who was running his Gold/Diamond Business here in South Africa. After his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. My doctors has advised me that I may not live for more than two (2) months, so I now decided to divide the part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in Africa, America, Asia, and Europe. if collected your email address during my desperate search on the internet and I prayed over it

I decided to donate the sum of $5,600,000.00 USD (Five Million Six hundred thousand United States dollars) to the less privileged because I cannot take this money to the grave. Please I want you to note that this fund is lodged in a bank here in South Africa.

Once I hear from you, I will forward to you all the information's you will use to get this fund released from the bank and to be transferred to your bank account. I honestly pray that this money when transferred to you will be used for the said purpose because l has come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity. May the grace of our lord Jesus the love of God and the fellowship of God be with you and your family.

PLEASE REPLY BACK IN MY PRIVATE EMAIL: [REDACTED].

Thanks and God bless you.

Your beloved sister in Christ.

Mrs. Mrs Elizabeth Anna Johnson

EDIT: Unredacted.

[IcyTea31]

Bahrain...South Africa

Hey, what's 11000 kilometers here or there between friends?