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[IcyTea31]

I'm curious as to how you'd do that.

For example, just start calmly and confidently walking towards it. Even the hungriest predator might reconsider attacking something that seems ready to fight back. I remember watching a video where some hunters extremely audaciously walk up to a dead antelope currently being munched on by lions, and the lions back off, letting the hunters butcher some meat off the antelope, and leave just as calmly.

Another example, circle each other until it pounces, then ukemi backwards and kick it upwards as it passes over you. Continue until it tires out.

The goal is to negate the lion's strengths (burst speed, claws, body weight, predatory instincts, etc.) with those of your own (endurance, lateral thinking, opposable thumbs, creativity, etc.) With tools/weapons, it is easier, but it's definitely not impossible without if you know what you're doing.

[Sirus]

Yeah, I'm calling bs. Kicking the lion might make it back off, but if it decided to keep attacking it would probably just maul your legs instead of pouncing again and again. Real animals are not video game bosses.

[RedKing]

There is only one solution to this: Somebody fetch me a hungry lion, a FedEx shipping crate, and IcyTea31's mailing address.

[IcyTea31]

Yeah, I'm calling bs. Kicking the lion might make it back off, but if it decided to keep attacking it would probably just maul your legs instead of pouncing again and again. Real animals are not video game bosses.

The question is, how would it maul my legs? That's where the circling comes in. By covering your flanks, only a direct assault is viable for the lion. A roar does nothing to our brave lion-wrestler, a charge is too telegraphed against an aware target that isn't running away and thus carries an obvious risk, so the pounce seems best to it. Animals are indeed not video game bosses, but you can learn the instincts they usually follow and act accordingly. And if the lion changes tactics, so can the human. In short-term adaptablitity, disregarding technology, the species are pretty equal.

There is only one solution to this: Somebody fetch me a hungry lion, a FedEx shipping crate, and IcyTea31's mailing address.

Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to just send me tickets to a safari, even through email? That way, I wouldn't even have the home advantage.

[pisskop]

Ahh, so this is IcyTea's master plan to get a free safari!

[Sirus]

Plus this all assumes a single lion.

Lions are pack hunters.

[Cthulufaic]

Plus this all assumes a single lion.

Lions are pack hunters.

So are humans.

This assumes the lions are unarmed as well.

[IcyTea31]

Lions are also not stupid. If something fails, they'll know not to repeatedly try it. If you were circling, it would just charge you then give you a solid bite/swipe.

A charge is easier to counter than a pounce, actually. Just charge at it yourself screaming and game-face on to discourage and confuse it, then hit it before it realizes what's going on. Alternatively, stand your ground and sidestep after the front paws leave the ground, ready to counter. And honestly, if the lion keeps attacking after you giving a fight like this it is stupid.

Plus this all assumes a single lion.

Lions are pack hunters.

They rarely attack at the exact same time to avoid colliding with each other. They also learn from each other enough that you only need to discourage one or two to be left alone.

Ahh, so this is IcyTea's master plan to get a free safari!

No comment. Shut up, don't ruin it!

[IcyTea31]

First one: Wolves get confused, lions... not so much. They still have a few things to deal with frequently that'll attack them, such as hyenas and other big cats.
Second: Assuming it pounces, again. If it charges, sidestepping would fail miserably. It's rhinos that have trouble swerving, not lions. The lion would adjust course and smack into you.

First: That may be true. A head-on attack is still risky for all parties involved, however, especially against a relatively unknown target. I suspect most lions rarely fight unarmed humans.

Second: Charging lions raise their front paws off the ground to claw the target at the end of the charge. After that point, they can't swerve without stopping the attack.


WTF: The WTF thread got derailed into a discussion about unarmed combat against lions. I'm part of the problem, but still...

Should we maybe start a new thread just for our animal wrestling manouevres or perhaps declare the discussion over and build some new rails?

[Orange Wizard]

The thing with humans is that technology is our strength. That, and group co-operation on a colossal scale.

Humans have always been sharpening sticks to stab things, or getting rocks to bash things, or buying high-powered rifles to blast the unholy snot out of things.
Manu-a-manu, my bet goes squarely on the lion. But if you tell a human "there's a lion in that cave over there, go kill it", he sure as hell isn't just going to waltz in there alone and unarmed.

...

Should we maybe start a new thread just for our animal wrestling manouevres or perhaps declare the discussion over and build some new rails?

+1

[Tawa]

Manu-a-manu

The hell?

[Furtuka]

Manu-a-manu

The hell?

Mano-a-mano. Just an amusing most likely purposeful mispelling

[Orange Wizard]

Manu-a-manu

The hell?

Mano-a-mano. Just an amusing most likely purposeful mispelling

Yeah, I always spell it like that. I should stop, but then I don't get to confuse people.

[smjjames]

*wonders what's up with the talk about lions*

I know I'm not really supposed to post wtfs about other forumers, but it's not the person that I'm wtf'ng about, it's what they said.

My dad just said the computer "probably lowers my defenses because I stay inside all day."
I think at this point he's just playing pin-the-tail on the donkey, and pinning every single bad thing on me playing computer games.

Even if he were right, what's the alternative? There's a three meter wall with electric fencing on top surrounding my house; I can't go past that. The only other thing you can do besides walking in circles is using the trampoline, which is pretty fun but not something you do all day.

Uh.

Are you in prison?

She's in South America with a Pair of Fundies as Parents.

[Comrade P.]

My dad just said the computer "probably lowers my defenses because I stay inside all day."
I think at this point he's just playing pin-the-tail on the donkey, and pinning every single bad thing on me playing computer games.

Even if he were right, what's the alternative? There's a three meter wall with electric fencing on top surrounding my house; I can't go past that. The only other thing you can do besides walking in circles is using the trampoline, which is pretty fun but not something you do all day.

Uh.

Are you in prison?

She's in South America with a Pair of Fundies as Parents.

I reconsidered my current life status after reading this to "pretty good".