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[Frumple]

The what stripes? Dream Theater I know the name of, but...

Looking in to it, it looks like I've heard... two of their songs, maybe. Though I much prefer the joss stone genderflip of one of them. Looks like they started getting into the swing of things after I stopped listening to radio, which may explain why I have no real clue who the hell they are.

Also Jimmy the Exploder is a fairly decent piece of original fiction over on fictionpress. Didn't know it was a song.

[Dutchling]

The White Stripes made a song with the same tune as "all the Germans are gay".

Might be a Dutch thing.

[SealyStar]

Three days into college and I've already experienced my first shouting-at from some Lunatics 4 Jesus group.

They attracted a huge crowd of train wreck-watchers and hecklers, of course. I didn't stop (I was tempted) but I caught some of their ranting. Turns out that in addition to masturbating to porn and smoking pot, Jesus still frowns upon listening to "rock and roll". What is this, 1950? Damn Elvis, corrupting our youth.

[Teneb]

Elvis is an.anagram of Evil, after all.

[Spehss _]

Turns out that in addition to masturbating to porn and smoking pot, Jesus still frowns upon listening to "rock and roll". What is this, 1950? Damn Elvis, corrupting our youth.

TIL Jesus hates basically everyone. Yep, seems legit.

[TamerVirus]

The curse of the great zombie Elvis will influence all the children to break open all the jails and feast upon the flesh of dogs, for Elvis is the King and all are his minions.

[Frumple]

Silly people. Jesus doesn't frown upon masturbation, he frowns upon not knocking up your brother's widow. Onan would have been fine if he didn't have a sister in law to screw.

[StupidElves]

I've been called evil for dressing in the way that I do(sorta goth) by various Christian groups. Funny thing is that I myself am a Christian, and I end up quoting the Bible in such ways that makes them go away.

[Bauglir]

Turns out that in addition to masturbating to porn and smoking pot, Jesus still frowns upon listening to "rock and roll". What is this, 1950? Damn Elvis, corrupting our youth.

I choose to parse that as Jesus still frowning upon listening to rock and roll, while himself masturbating to porn and smoking pot.

[Arx]

Silly people. Jesus doesn't frown upon masturbation, he frowns upon not knocking up your brother's widow. Onan would have been fine if he didn't have a sister in law to screw.

Actually, what Onan did wrong was pulling out instead of impregnating her. Masturbation doesn't come into it.

[Frumple]

Well, there we go. Where's the masturbation dislike come from? I always hear Onan mentioned in relation to it, but... well, you just covered that.

[Arx]

Masturbation dislike comes from prudes. Edit: Wait, it's the whole can of worms that is sexual fantasy. Serious worm can.
Here's a place with articles that, if I remember correctly, take a sane and frank look at masturbation from a Biblical/Christian perspective.

[Moghjubar]

Three days into college and I've already experienced my first shouting-at from some Lunatics 4 Jesus group.

They attracted a huge crowd of train wreck-watchers and hecklers, of course. I didn't stop (I was tempted) but I caught some of their ranting. Turns out that in addition to masturbating to porn and smoking pot, Jesus still frowns upon listening to "rock and roll". What is this, 1950? Damn Elvis, corrupting our youth.

You should form a group called the "Claims to Know the Mind of God" group then go out and claim random things, with billboards for bonus points, near those groups.  Always cheer on your groupmates signs too because they also "know" the mind of god even when they are contradicting you, because god works in mysterious ways.

[Putnam]

Apparently being a redditor makes you worthy of having a Wikipedia page now...

Fox News article = notable, so Wikipedia article is allowed

[Graknorke]

Three days into college and I've already experienced my first shouting-at from some Lunatics 4 Jesus group.

They attracted a huge crowd of train wreck-watchers and hecklers, of course. I didn't stop (I was tempted) but I caught some of their ranting. Turns out that in addition to masturbating to porn and smoking pot, Jesus still frowns upon listening to "rock and roll". What is this, 1950? Damn Elvis, corrupting our youth.

You should form a group called the "Claims to Know the Mind of God" group then go out and claim random things, with billboards for bonus points, near those groups.  Always cheer on your groupmates signs too because they also "know" the mind of god even when they are contradicting you, because god works in mysterious ways.

Not just random, but completely inane too.