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[Xantalos]

I have telekenisis, but I'm generally too busy holding the universe together to bother.

[Descan]

It's true; the flippers make it hard to operate a plow.

You know you guys could invent plows that are workable by flippers but nooooooooo. all you ever want to do is fish and dance.

Seriously, why do you guys even farm in the first place? Fish are plentiful and delicious; all you have to do is dive in the water and scoop some up with your beak.

Well, WE do that. If by "dive into the water" you mean "get on a boat", and by "scoop some up with your beak", you mean "pillage and burn".

This also explains why they farm. Because we tell them to.

[Shakerag]

I'm getting hungry and laughing my ass off at the same time.

[Xantalos]

I'm getting hungry and laughing my ass off at the same time.

Here's how to make tacos.

[RedWarrior0]

I'm getting hungry and laughing my ass off at the same time.

wonderful.

[Gentlefish]

I'm getting hungry and laughing my ass off at the same time.

Here's how to make tacos.

Here's some rice.

[Max White]

My internet is having issues. It refuses to connect to any web page, even ones I very often visit... With the exception of bay12 forums. Not even the bay12 website works, just the forums. Even every bodies hotlinked avatars work. 

[Skyrunner]

My internet is having issues. It refuses to connect to any web page, even ones I very often visit... With the exception of bay12 forums. Not even the bay12 website works, just the forums. Even every bodies hotlinked avatars work. 

Well, I see whose side your internet's taking.

[Max White]

I managed to fix it by restarting the router and sacrificing a goat to the gods of information.

They told me they would help me out if I stopped sending them dead goats.

[Frumple]

D:

Just noticed, while cooking breakfast, that apparently the grandparents had forgotten to empty the coffee maker during one of their last visits. I noticed this because, while I was cooking, I looked over and wondered what those odd white spots on the bottom of the coffee pot were. So I poked it, as I am wont to do, and discovered to my rather detached mild horror and meager disgust that the bottom moved, that wasn't the bottom, and mold had started growing on the surface of the freestanding coffee.

[Glowcat]

My internet is having issues. It refuses to connect to any web page, even ones I very often visit... With the exception of bay12 forums. Not even the bay12 website works, just the forums. Even every bodies hotlinked avatars work. 

My internet often putters out but Bay12 forums always seem to be my anchor in the storm and never fail to load if I have any internet whatsoever. I assume this is due to Toady magic.

[Rose]

Suddenly 504

[Digital Hellhound]

Internets-crash but Bay12 staying is a thing that has happened to me too, several times. I'm pretty sure it's the forums getting jealous of other websites that causes it.

[RedKing]

I'm getting hungry and laughing my ass off at the same time.

Best line:
"Eat a goddamn salad....fuck it, eat ten. Brag about it. It's like plant nachos." xD

Second best:
"Never trust a glove with a face."

[Truean]

For those of you not from Cleveland, we seem to have written some girls off for dead for about 10 years or so. Turns out they were kidnapped and we finally "found 'em." Well even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while, so really. The question is, how do you keep 3 women hidden for 10 years, while one of 'em has a kid in captivity, with nobody knowing anything about it when you kidnap them. Let me explain, because that would be horrible out of context: I'm not asking how to do it, but rather wondering who needs the white cane, because somebody had to have seen something or been blind.

Unfortunately this guy seems to understand what many of my clients have not figured out: shut the hell up, don't cause any problems. That's probably how he got away with it for so long.

This guy did and that's how we found the missing kidnap victims:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcLSI3oyqhs

And, of course, somebody auto tuned it: [sigh]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP5Ud_juMTw

Charles Ramsey (the guy giving the interview and who found 'em) you rock.