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[Megaman3321]

Hmm, maybe you could reroute the entrance to require going through those hallways, filled with cages and serrated disk traps

[DuckThatQuacks]

4 Moonstone, 525:
Mining is such a dangerous profession.



This morning there was an almighty crash, and the miners reported that there had been a major cave-in. All dwarves were accounted for except the mayor, leaving us to conclude that he had been caught in the collapse.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Since his body was presumably crushed under hundreds of tons of rock, there was no possibility of an autopsy burial. Instead, we carved a commemorative slab.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It doesn't look like he'll be missed -- he is remembered primarily as a brutal tyrant.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The mayor's many crimes

The dwarves promptly elected a new mayor, choosing Pyromaniac to lead them.

5 Moonstone, 525:
Andreus and I met with the new mayor today, and I told him of the disagreements I'd had with the former mayor. I also suggested that he contemplate mining accidents draft new mine safety regulations, because we wouldn't want a repeat of yesterday's tragedy.

6 Moonstone, 525:
The new mayor informed me today that he was passing legislation that meant that his signature would no longer be required to issue orders -- all that is needed is an official stamp. He kindly offered me such a stamp, and suggested that since he would rather not be bothered with the day-to-day running of the fort, I should take up the position of overseer.



I humbly accepted, and Andreus agreed to take up an official position as my advisor.



Things are looking up for Failcannon.

12 Moonstone, 525:
It was with great pleasure today that we buried the last of the corpses inside of the fortress. There are still bodies that we can't get to (outside the fortress, or in the ocean), but for now it's a relief to not have to look at decaying dwarves stuffed into corners while trying to eat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Our mausoleum

3 Opal, 525:
The mayor approached me today and said that he has been thinking about it, and he'd like to strike some small blow for the dwarven independence movement. I said it sounded like a fine plan, and he issued a proclamation saying that we would provide no thrones for Queen Led to sit on.



It's mostly a symbolic gesture, but inspiring nonetheless.

7 Opal, 525:
While we were trying to fish corpses out of one of the lakes in the courtyard, we accidentally let it burst through an embankment.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

At least it wasn't the ocean

It flooded the courtyard and made a mess, but it'll dry out and we managed to get the corpses and bury them properly.

10 Opal, 525:
The goblins that arrived last autumn are still out there. They occasionally skirmish with the local wilddeath

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

but they show no signs of leaving on their own.

I decided today that our traps were adequate, and that it was time to deal with the goblins. I've ordered all civilians underground, stationed the militia in the courtyard, and ordered the drawbridge lowered. The goblins are swarming in.

11 Opal, 525:
Victory! The goblins charged headlong into our traps, which did their work with grim efficiency. While they flailed around in the entrance, I ordered our tiny militia to open fire. Surrounded by deadly traps and under heavy fire from our marksdwarves, the goblins fell back across the drawbridge and fled. All told, over a dozen were killed or captured. We suffered no casualties.

13 Opal, 525:
Andreus has requested that she be allowed to interrogate the prisoners captured during the goblin attack. I agreed to her request, and to her subsequent request that she be allowed to construct a special interrogation facility. Those both seemed reasonable. I also agreed to her request for numerous grates to "let the blood drain into the ritual chamber", although I'm not sure why -- that doesn't make much sense, now that I think about it. Still, Andreus is very helpful so it's worth indulging her little quirks.

7 Obsidian, 525:



I'm receiving reports of more ghosts causing trouble in the fortress. Andreus has informed me that her Paranormal Investigation Group is on the case.

23 Obsidian, 525:
A breathless dwarf burst into my office today, declaring that there was an emergency.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

His pleasant drink had been interrupted by a dread beast from below! I called up the militia and ordered all civilians to evacuate to the surface.

We combed the fortress, but found no sign of the creature. I went back and found the dwarf who had raised the alarm, who admitted that he hadn't so much seen a beast as heard a sound through the walls that might have been a beast.

This is intolerable! Such a false alarm could provide a fatal distraction at a critical moment. It looks like we're going to need to stricter rules about what dwarves can and can't say if we want to stay focused on our goal (freedom for dwarfkind).

28 Obsidian, 525:
It's the eve of a new year. Tomorrow will be a day of celebration, but today was a sombre one: Failcannon's longest-surviving inhabitant passed away this morning.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In other news, Andreus and I have been working on some major changes to the way the fortress is run, and we plan to introduce them early next year.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Who killed the crazy cat lady?

[Darvi]

RIP doggy. You will be missed

[DuckThatQuacks]

A variety of Inconvenient Events have conspired to prevent me from posting an update tonight. I'll be traveling this weekend, so I probably won't have more updates until next week (although there is some chance I'll get something done over the weekend; I've played enough for an update tonight, so I'd just have to write it up).

Who killed the crazy cat lady?

That was the late mayor.

[Oglokoog]

Who killed the crazy cat lady?

That was the late mayor.

Aye, he was awesome.
Also requesting redorfing, please. Preferably someone less fighty this time, to keep it varied.

[Glacial]

I believe Oglokoog was one of the Brew/Fight Club survivors from my turn's tantrum spiral. He earned his fighting prowess by duking it out with the rest of the fort and anything else that pissed him off.

He'll be missed!

[Andreus]

Today is my actual birthday. YOU GOT ME A RITUAL CHAMBER!

 

[Zeocin]

Today is my actual birthday. YOU GOT ME A RITUAL CHAMBER!

 

Happy birthday! May it be filled with FUN.

[Ledi]

Who killed the crazy cat lady?

*sob* It was not to be.

...If you find another one, could I be redwarfed please? Ledi-ii (yes, it would be pronounced Led-ee-ee-ee XD) I want to gather all the cats I can, and keep them safe and happy and away from those mad butchers who think they only belong in a stew! *hoards kitties*

[DuckThatQuacks]

I had hoped to post an update today, but my flight home has been delayed by slightly bad weather. The update will have to wait until tomorrow.

[DuckThatQuacks]

1 Granite, 526:
Despite my heroic efforts, Failcannon is stagnating. Our production has hardly increased at all, and our militia remains tiny and inadequate. It has become clear to me that the problem is the inefficient civilian administration. As such, I am dissolving the civilian government.



From now on, the mayor shall serve a purely ceremonial role; all decision-making power shall be vested in the head of Failcannon's military.



To maintain order, I am establishing a new guard force. They shall be called the Legions of Civic-Minded Dwarves Devoted to Maintaining the Peace, Administering Justice, Improving the Lives of All Dwarfkind, and Filling Our Enemies with Terror (or "Legions of Terror" for short). For her record of distinguished service, I have given Andreus a commission in the military and placed her in command of the Legions.



Now that I finally have unfettered control of the fortress, I can lead our people to freedom and prosperity.

17 Granite, 526:
Already, my policies are vindicated.



One of our dwarves has been struck with inspiration, and is busily gathering materials in a mason's workshop. Such a thing could never have happened without my canny and benevolent rulership.

2 Slate, 526:
After working non-stop for almost a week, Datan has emerged with his masterpiece.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's name means "The Bent Vessel." I shall have to find a suitable place for it.

5 Slate, 526:
Conscripts Migrants Fellow travelers on the road to freedom!



It would seem that my diligent efforts have made Failcannon a beacon to all dwarfkind, so that they flock to it despite its reputation as a dangerous place. I sent my Legions of Terror out to draft protect the new arrivals from a pair of murderous groundhogs. There were ten migrants in all; about half volunteered to join the military.

26 Slate, 526:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There's a rumor sweeping the fort that a deceased bowyer has risen from the dead, determined to trouble the living. Andreus has assured me that she's on the case.

14 Felsite, 526:



A filthy kobold was found in the courtyard today, trying to steal our hard-earned wealth! It attacked a bystander as it fled, but only managed to slash her cloak.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

16 Felsite, 526:





More kobolds! It looks like the one we discovered a few days back must have told them stories of our wealth. Fortunately, we chased these ones off before they could take anything.

17 Felsite, 526:



A particularly skillful thief managed to make it all the way inside the fortress before being discovered.



Although this one was, like the others, driven off before it could steal anything, I can't help thinking that such a concerted effort at robbery is tantamount to an act of war.

18 Felsite, 526:



I didn't expect this. A large party of elves has arrived, saying they wish to trade with us. I ordered the Legions of Terror out to intimidate escort them safely inside.

20 Felsite, 526:
The elves are safely inside, and they gave us wood, alcohol, and exotic animals in exchange for several sacks of dirty laundry.

28 Felsite, 526:
We tried some more trading with the elves today, offering some old knick-knacks in exchange for some of their more interesting food. Unfortunately, one of the items was decorated with wood, and the elves got offended and refused to do any more business with us. I really don't understand it -- they'll happily give us a barrel of fine wine in exchange for a few blood-soaked rags, but offer them something with just a tiny bit of wood and they get all upset.

I was sorely tempted to kill them all, but decided that it would be better if they left and spread the word of our wealth and power.

[DuckThatQuacks]

4 Hematite, 526:



Andreus reports that the latest poltergeist problem has been resolved. She is remarkably skilled in handling such occult matters.

7 Hematite, 526:
As I was walking to the dining hall today, I overheard dwarves complaining about me. "Power-hungry tyrant," somebody said! While I thoroughly support free speech and lively debate, outright sedition is intolerable! If we are going to champion the cause of dwarven freedom, we must have stability -- such dangerous talk much be stopped. I've ordered the Legions to carry out an investigation.

9 Hematite, 526:
My Legions of Terror uncovered a cowardly plot to unseat me! I had them round up the ringleaders.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

To confuse any other rebels that might be lurking in the fort, I had them arrested on the charges of exporting banned items, rather than charges of treason. I can't let the rebels know that I'm on to them.

26 Hematite, 526:



Ha! The nay-sayers in the rebellion all claim that I'm a failure, but eight more dwarves arrived to join the cause of  freedom!

28 Hematite, 526:
Today, Andreus informed me that she was ready to begin interrogating the prisoners taken in the last goblin attack. I told her to go right ahead, and I agreed to let her execute them when she was done (she called it "sacrificing" them, but that was probably just a slip of the tongue).

7 Malachite, 526:



Another dread beast has come to trouble our glorious fortress! The constant menace of Them Below must be dealt with! Not today, but someday soon...

15 Malachite, 526:
I've determined the perfect task for The Bent Vessel, the artifact floodgate that an inspired dwarf produced last Slate. It shall hold back the sea itself!

And when it is opened, the current shall sweep the bodies of our fallen comrades into the tunnels where we can bury them properly.

16 Malachite, 526:
This is most curious -- when we began to drain the sea, the corpses were swept towards our access tunnel, but then they simply vanished. This can only mean one thing: those worthless rebels sabotaged the operation! It's bad enough that they challenge my benevolent rule, but now they have dishonored our fallen comrades! The rebel leaders in prison have been looking suspiciously happy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've ordered their rations reduced.

3 Galena, 526:



One of our workers has been inspired by my glorious example! He is rushing towards the forges.

5 Galena, 526:
Erib claimed a forge, grabbed a single bronze bar, and got to work. I like his directness.

9 Galena, 526:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Erib has completed the mighty chain Evenedfords! Andreus asked if she could have it, and I said she could. She looked pleased, and as she walked off I thought I heard her muttering something about a "ritual chamber" and being able to "restrain the gods themselves", but it was probably just my imagination. Or, worse yet, a plot by those dastardly rebels to sow discord between myself and my trusted lieutenant! They will pay...

17 Galena, early morning, 526:



One of the imprisoned rebel leaders died today. It seems that somebody forgot to bring her anything to drink. All I can say is that she deserved it.

17 Galena, mid-morning, 526:



The goblins are here! Is it any coincidence that they showed up so soon after the rebel leader died? I think not! They obviously hope to avenge their ally's death! Where is my sword? To arms!



Bah! More goblins? It matters not, for I AM INVINCIBLE!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

17 Galena, early-afternoon, 526:
The sound of crossbow bolts thudding into my enemies signaled the arrival of my Legions of Terror. They quickly finished off the goblins.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

On the horizon, I noticed another, friendlier group approaching.



But yet more goblins are charging towards the human flank!



The caravan guards are forming up while the traders race towards the fortress, and my Legions of Terror and I are on our way to help out. I've spotted the enemy leader -- a great hulking goblin with a massive two-handed sword. I've ordered my soldiers to leave him to me.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

17 Galena, early-evening, 526:
Victory! All invaders have been killed or driven off, and none of our soldiers or the humans were killed! A kidnapper and a thief tried to sneak in during the chaos,





but the human guards discovered them, killing the snatcher and driving off the thief.

For her courage in battle, I have bestowed Cog Walledpassion, a humble soldier, with the title "Helmed Violence-Plane of Smoothness." It is a noble title for a noble dwarf that accurately reflects the fact that she is one smooth, helm-wearing violence-plane.

After I made the announcement, I overheard some dwarves whispering that I've gone mad. I would have them thrown in prison if the charges weren't so ridiculous. Me? Mad? Would a mad dwarf have made the far-sighted decision to bolster our strategic cheese reserves?



I think not.

21 Galena, 526:



What? More cowardly goblins, lurking in the trees, waiting for a time when civilians were outside the fortress -- no doubt they were told by the rebels that now would be a fine time to strike! My Legions of Terror crushed them all, but not before they slew three brave dwarves.







27 Galena, 526:
We traded with the humans today, offering a variety of trinkets in exchange for wood, drink, seeds, and food. I made sure to get all of their cheese (they had a lot), since I'm not sure that domestic production will allow us to build a sufficiently large reserve.


If nobody minds too much, I am probably going to overshoot my allotted year by two months so that I can end at a season-change (although if this is really a problem, I'll do my best to stop at the end of Limestone). In other news, Oglokoog and Ledi-ii have been dwarfed, as a surgeon and an animal caretaker a crazy cat lady, respectively.

[Darvi]

Were the humans Greeks by chance? :3

[Dermonster]

Requesting a re-dorfing since I apparently died at some point.