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[RedKing]

<insert obligatory Catherine the Great joke>

[pisskop]

"strong enough for a man.  but made just for you"

[scrdest]

OK, Vipir the Depressed Necrolord has managed to suicide-attempt himself into utter uselessness (Infirm AND Incapable) and also somehow throw HIMSELF into the Oubliette when a random countess tried to seduce her way out of jail (to be fair, he IS Insane as well).

I need to get a Controlled Ruler Demolition going somehow to get a decent successor and not fracture everything into statelets (since it's Gavelkind that long since went for the Primogeniture-with-no-children clause and there are factions running I can no longer easily dismantle).

So, how to get myself killed in Elder Kings, while I'm pretty much unable to leave the bed?

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Summon the prince of the daemon realms?

[Teneb]

There's finally been a dev diary with actual gameplay change info.

In short, shattered retreat was explained (peasant rebels do not use it, though, merely vanishing instead), levies will reinforce if they are at their home province, how casualties are calculated have been changed (to avoid abnormally high death rates), and, perhaps most importantly, mongol AI has been changed to make them nightmarish once more.

Spoiler: The casualties equations (click to show/hide)

Before: ((DamagePerMan * AmountOfDefendingTroops) / DefenseValue) * AmountOfDefendingTroops = LossesInTroops
After: (DamagePerMan * AmountOfDefendingTroops) / DefenseValue = LossesInTroops

[scrdest]

Summon the prince of the daemon realms?

Missed the post - no can do, Incapable fucks with doing anything at all.

[Rolan7]

Reinforcing levies? All of my yes. Just need outpost counties near the enemy...

[Loud Whispers]

aw yis, doom mongols

[pisskop]

Doom byzantine?

[scrdest]

aw yis, doom mongols

Eh, it's not Doom Mongols, it's just Mongols who won't decide all that rape and pillage is getting old for them in their 50s. It's just an AI change to make them drop the negative concerns for invading that made no sense for THEM BEING A FUCKING MONGOL HORDE.

[Dorsidwarf]

Summon the prince of the daemon realms?

Missed the post - no can do, Incapable fucks with doing anything at all.

Imprison powerful unhappy vassal?

[Elfeater]

Is the Dutch retinue any good?

[Culise]

There was a full analysis done not too long ago.  Dutch retinues, when mixed with generic archers, are apparently on a similar level with the Scots, Arabs, and Italians (who go pure).  It makes sense; a mix of Light Infantry and Pikemen leavens out the powerful archer-based retinues for Shieldwalls and Feints (especially with the latter, which does not affect Pikemen) while still maintaining decent odds of a Volley. 

[Karnewarrior]

OK, Vipir the Depressed Necrolord has managed to suicide-attempt himself into utter uselessness (Infirm AND Incapable) and also somehow throw HIMSELF into the Oubliette when a random countess tried to seduce her way out of jail (to be fair, he IS Insane as well).

I need to get a Controlled Ruler Demolition going somehow to get a decent successor and not fracture everything into statelets (since it's Gavelkind that long since went for the Primogeniture-with-no-children clause and there are factions running I can no longer easily dismantle).

So, how to get myself killed in Elder Kings, while I'm pretty much unable to leave the bed?

So you're

• undead
• insane
• In a coma
• Senile
• Suicidal
• Stuck in a hole
• Immortal
• Vulnerable to the wiles of human women

You are the protagonist of an anime, sir.

[scrdest]

OK, Vipir the Depressed Necrolord has managed to suicide-attempt himself into utter uselessness (Infirm AND Incapable) and also somehow throw HIMSELF into the Oubliette when a random countess tried to seduce her way out of jail (to be fair, he IS Insane as well).

I need to get a Controlled Ruler Demolition going somehow to get a decent successor and not fracture everything into statelets (since it's Gavelkind that long since went for the Primogeniture-with-no-children clause and there are factions running I can no longer easily dismantle).

So, how to get myself killed in Elder Kings, while I'm pretty much unable to leave the bed?

So you're

• undead
• insane
• In a coma
• Senile
• Suicidal
• Stuck in a hole
• Immortal
• Vulnerable to the wiles of human women

You are the protagonist of an anime, sir.

ROFL.

Not quite accurate, though - he's not undead (it probably would have helped, actually. Oh well.) and the countess tried to seduce the guard, not me. I've just been running a SkySi surveillance state so I quickly figured it out. He definitely is a dirty (technically, he looks thirtysomething and is buff and attractive) old man, just in a way more, uh, befitting his religion.

Because I'm not sure I mentioned - he's also a Molag Bal cultist, having gone through a bunch of other Daedra cults.