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[Imic]

In my experience, it’s specifically rocks and metal that gives them trouble. We’re fusking Dwarves! Why do you have a milion cloth and leather! We asked for metal! We have no iron! Why!
Sorry, flashback.

[Superdorf]

Hmm yes. I work around that as best I can by ordering as many different kinds of metal as possible, in as many different forms as possible. They bring a little of everything, and eventually it adds up.

Caravans tend to bring a ton of meltable metalwork too; the stuff's expensive but if you're rich enough perhaps worth the trouble.

[Atarlost]

You might consider setting up a non-masterwork trap component melt stockpile and a loop to make giant metal corkscrews or axes.  You'll get melt profit until your weaponsmith skills up too much and then have giant metal corkscrews many times more valuable than their material cost even in the most melt inefficient metal crap the caravan brings.  At least if you don't count fuel.  This method may be less practical if you're not smithing with magma.  Obviously, this only works with weaponable metals, but you probably don't want large quantities of non-weapon metals anyways. 

[Imic]

That was a while ago in a Volcano embark which had lots of Gold and little else. The Dwarven Civ was also dying, and three Caravans reached us before the Expedition leader was crowned Monarch and we stopped getting migrants. In the end I used the trap component method for that Fort.
Ususlly, I try to avoid that kind of exploit though.

[nezclaw]

Oh I've got plenty of metal materials. I wanted the coal since burning charcoal only yields one charcoal per log.

[ulf]

Dear engravers.
When I requested a hall of memories to be carved for us to remember our fallen in, I had not expected the thing you wanted to remember the most to be 2 unknown goblins fighting in a faraway land. Seriously, with 130 years of good dwarven history, I would have expected that less than 1 in 3 images was of that single goblin on goblin fight.... You can't all be gobophiles can you?
The expedition leader.

[Dragofire]

Notice to all citizens.
Please stop abusing temple priviliges by spending all day in them instead of working. Any dwarf caught in the temple after three hours inside will be dumped off the gobbo disposal system.

[badiro]

Dear Urist

would you please consider to drop the cobaltite stone when the alarm bell rings. The story the siege engineer told you about the neutron cobalt bomb he wants to build next time a forgotten beast enters the fortress is bullshit, you remember the adamantine war hammer he built?? He is an idiot, run!!

[Urist McUristUrist]

Dear Urist

would you please consider to drop the cobaltite stone when the alarm bell rings. The story the siege engineer told you about the neutron cobalt bomb he wants to build next time a forgotten beast enters the fortress is bullshit, you remember the adamantine war hammer he built?? He is an idiot, run!!

Born 2 haul
Forced 2 live

Dear kobby the kobold shaman or whatever your title is
I have no idea why you consider a 10-dwarf encampment without access to ore or significant amounts of wood "prosperous", but if you're gonna telepatically take an oath of vassalage, could you at please least tell us where your cave is located?

[recon1o6]

Dear Urist mcstuckinatree

On a whim, I decided to use some magic and gift the founders of this fort wings and the ability to fly to see what would happen.

Your companion's used this wisely, see how Urist Mchunter took himself to an overlook on the river and crossbow us some birds for dinner or how Urist mcMiner used his new wings to get out of the spike pit when he dug the wrong way and collapsed the stairs.

You on the other hand have been nothing but a nuisance, constantly getting stuck in trees while pasturing our livestock

HOW?? they aren't even supposed to be up there!


Stop forcing me to cut down trees to save your sorry hide or I'm going to cut down the next one on top of you

Signed
The Overseer

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Dear Kadol Delerezar (Kadol Steelsoldier),
You just had to become my civ's diplomat while you were away on a mission, did you? Now what am I going to do with you? Seriously, someone could have thought to notify me of that before you returned with your squad!

[krg]

not frustrated, but something else

Dear all dwarves,

Congratulations on being the survivors of the goblin siege. I thought that the military would do better, but we all live and learn. Well, the thirteen of us left do anyway.
Now, I know that everybody here has lost somebody. We cant go from ~130 dwarves to 13 in one fight and not lose someone close to us. If there are any surviving mothers with no children left, check if there are kids with no surviving parents and join up. While I understand that grief happens, please build coffins at a decent speed; oh good, the mason is working on that. As they are built, please place them into the communal tomb and bury those that have fallen.
While we are working on that, please place the bodies into the area off to the side. Then they won't be in front of us so bad. Until they are all moved, please be aware that there will be the smell of the dead.

Krg

P.S. It has come to my attention that migrants have come in since. Good, ask them to help us lay our dead to rest.


-------------
There was a goblin siege. Sent the military out to fight, well some of them anyway. Mistake 1.
The goblins were much better than my dwarves at fighting; don't think I had any true military dwarves.
Only survived because I drafted every dwarf into the military and got to watch the number of dwarves plummet.

[KaleNipClaw]

Dear Urist McHuntsforus, don't let a wombat interrupt your hunt. Kill the blighter! What's more important: the fortress getting some protein or a wittle, fuzzy, wuzzy, innocent wombat living to see another day in this definitely-much-less-than-perfect world?

[KaleNipClaw]

Dear Urist McHuntsforus, don't let a wombat interrupt your hunt. Kill the blighter! What's more important: the fortress getting some protein or a wittle, fuzzy, wuzzy, innocent wombat living to see another day in this definitely-much-less-than-perfect world?

Dear Urist McHuntsforus, my most formal apology. I did not realize that wombats have the ability to fight. That being said, could you let Urists McMiney, McDiggy and McWoody know that I don't appreciate them sleeping on the job?

[recon1o6]

Dear Urist McWereroc

Urist, while you are gifted with flight when you have transformed under the full moon, please remember that when you change back it is no longer the case. So stop flying 7 z-levels in the air close to dawn and end up having to spend the next month in bed recovering. Its your own fault you are getting miserable at being unable to practice a craft when you end up spending most of your days in hospital


From
The overseer