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[wooks]

wereroc!?, now that would be a scary wereinvasion.

[recon1o6]

it was a bit of a letdown tbh, the beastie came in and got stuck in a tree trying to attack my dwarves so it got riddled with crossbow shots. when it did manage to get down my crossbow dwarves clubbed it to death but not before biting someonewho didn't put their armour on. i'd have lost him there and then were it not for my 2 doctors being grand master and legendary respectively.

now every full moon i just stick urist outside in case a goblin siege comes.

[TeaAndRum]

Dear Urist McHauler, get those corpses out of the sight of the common folk, as I told you to. There is madness brewing literally at your doorstep, yet you decided loitering around is a matter more dire. I have given you a small, muddy room, just for the disposing of the earthly remains of your failed enemies, down to every tooth and nail. You are encouraged, and expected, to put it to use.

[Fire and Glory]

Dear Urist McHauler(s)

When it has been stated that the furniture stockpiles will no longer hold electrum statues. And a new stockpile has been made that exclusively holds statues made of electrum. I would assume that even dwarves of your low intelligence would be able to deduce that you should move the electrum statues to the electrum statue stockpile.

Obviously this is not the case, so I will state it here now. Go do that. I see you idling. You're holding up the production of the temple dedicated to our pantheon. So unless you want to earn the ire of the gods you should get it done.

Sincerely, the overseer of Bridgedrilled.

[snakesoul]

Dear Urist,

If you are waiting for Urist McLever to open the bridge, it would be nice if you could step back a little bit, otherwise the bridge will smash you.

Thanks.

[Ulfarr]

Dear Urist,

This is a giant lion tamarin, it might be bigger than usual but it’s still a mostly harmless and benign animal. And this is a giant python that can swallow you whole if it wanted to. Can you see why you were ordered to kill the former and avoid the latter? Especially since you are armed with nothing but wooden stick?

Be thankful you didn’t lose more than your leg.

[Dragofire]

Dear Urist McMiner
This is not Minecraft. The rocks will not float. Oh and there is a necromancer siege, elf necromancer included.

Dear Urist McBroker
The trading depot is not an approprte place to sleep when the naga traders are arriving with zombie cows chasing them

Dear Naga Traders
I am sorry, but you have to leave cause there are sixteen zombie cows and a necromancer chasing you from the summer necromancer seige. Or I guess you could just stand there. Do not blame me if in the next five seconds your heads are not attached to your torsos and undead.

Dear Dwarves
Please get inside, there are sixteen zombie cows, four zombie horses, five naga axeman zombies, three naga left hands, four naga heads, one naga right hand, one cow head, seven naga merchant zombies and a necromancer outside.  Be glad that their weapons are made of copper.

[Dragofire]

Dear Urist McButcher
Please stop butchering cats and throw those cat skins away before the necromancer two tiles away animates them.

Dear Urist McNoviceAxedwarf
Please kill those undead cat skins before they murder the butcher. And the necromancer. And the twelve zombie axeelfs. And the elf left hand. And the three skeletal geese. And those four zombie bowgoblins with full quivers.

Dear Engineers
Please note that you should have actually installed the freaking cage traps instead of  Before the necromancer, axeelfs, bowgoblins, and geese arrived and casually strolled down the (non)trap-hall without batting an eyelash. Please take note of this in the next life.

Dear Skelegoose # 1
How are you on fire and still alive? Or maybe that is why you are a skeleton. One question: How the heck did you catch on fire in the first place? Maybe I should not have tried to mod geese to have fire breath. Or maybe Dfhack's sanity has jumped out the window and into a bonfire.

- Your displeased god- yes you, Mr Skeletal Goose on Fire.

[darf]

Dear Urist crossbowflows,

Our leader will order your positioning in the archers' tower. Please do not run through our mile long trap corridor to confront the enemy face to face, even if he is positioned two floors down and one square away.

Praying for your safety,
your wife

[Dragofire]

Dear Urist McWarcheif
Please do not jump into the lake and drown dodging the attacks of a beer man. It is a beer man, just tap it and it will die. Seriously? Now I have to dig a staircase down there to retreive your breastplate and long falchion, considering as we have zero metal industry at this point and I had to stockpile your frigging equipment so you would bother picking it up.

- Your displeased clan leader
PS: Your recruit got the only kill of all three of you.

[Dragofire]

Dear Urist McWeaponsmith
Why did you choose to make my awesome weapon out of yak bone? Furthermore it is a warhammer. I do not want a wiffle bat, nor do I need one. Please jump down the dumping hole.

- Signed,your pissed militia commander

[Dunkelzahn]

Dear uristMcGlassypants.

When i sent you down to finish the construction of the green glass-iron screw pump, i did not mean "seal yourself on the same side of the lava and fall asleep"

Your lucky the mountain has low blood pressure.

Dearly, your noodle loving overseer.

[Dragofire]

Dear Urists
Please get off your asses and do the THIRTEEN THINGS THAT NEED DOING. ALL OF YOU HAVE MANY LABORS ENABLED. PLEASE GET TO WORK.

[axemangeorge]

Dear Urist McAxelord,

You're the one who knocked all the goblin's teeth out with the haft of your axe. (Did you forget it had a sharp side, too?) With this fact in mind, why do you lose your mind every time you walk by the bit of fortification that has a stray tooth wedged inside?

[Dragofire]

Dear Anole Woman.
Please stop hauling that alfafa from one stockpile to the other and harvest the rest of the alfafa before it withers.