Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Dwarves,

Unless it has dawned on you yet, the brook you are trying to drink from is currently frozen solid. That's why the water is all still and cold and hard-like. It's called ice. You cannot drink ice. The emergency reservoir that I ordered dug for this exact reason, however, is not frozen. (I do admit it may be a bit stagnant though.) That means you can drink from the reservoir. Please do so instead of getting your hairy little tongues stuck to the frozen river and dying of dehydration.

- The omniscient being of questionable benevolence that guides your destiny, a.k.a. Sus

Dear Sus,
We were starting to drink, then the brook froze. Now our tounges are stuck in or on the ice. Please send help!
Sincerely,
Assorted thirsty dwarves.

[tahujdt]

Dear Urist McMayor,

  Seriously, what's with all the Floodgates? We do not need all of them, yet you keep asking for more. Do you want them all installed in your office or something? Drop me a hint.

Sincerely,

The Overseer

Would you rather he mandated aluminium items or something?

We were just discussing how nobles now longer mandate materials.

[Williham]

To: All dwarves at Lovelytunneled.
Re: Plumbing

Getting the blood out of the plumbing, I can assure you, was no small feat, and the effort cost several good dwarves their lives.

As such, any dwarf that finds it appropriate to bleed in the hospital plumbing will find themselves promoted to the siege squad.

As ammunition.

Signed,
Overseer of Operations

[Sus]

Dear Dwarves,

Unless it has dawned on you yet, the brook you are trying to drink from is currently frozen solid. That's why the water is all still and cold and hard-like. It's called ice. You cannot drink ice. The emergency reservoir that I ordered dug for this exact reason, however, is not frozen. (I do admit it may be a bit stagnant though.) That means you can drink from the reservoir. Please do so instead of getting your hairy little tongues stuck to the frozen river and dying of dehydration.

- The omniscient being of questionable benevolence that guides your destiny, a.k.a. Sus

Have you built a well over it?  Or designated a water source (i > assign space > w) next to it that they can get to?

I think I missed the water source part there. *facepalm*

[Jake]

We were just discussing how nobles now longer mandate materials.

Huh. I must have missed that in the devlog somewhere.

[NineFourEightSeven]

Dear Urist McMason,

   The reason you can't build that wall is because you are STANDING WHERE IT GOES. Go stand NEXT TO where the wall is going, and you'll be relieved to find that you CAN build the wall.

Sincerely,

Your All-Seeing Overseer

[misko27]

Dear Urists,
Please, explain to me something: why is there blood positively everywhere? Part of it, I realize, is my fault. I know that I have accumalated a lot of blood in certain places, and following the brief and short flood of the fort, much of it was washed inside. However, after a period counting a year, there are still blood stains all over the dining room. It's practically drenched in it. Again, partly my fault for getting it there, but clean it up now damnit.. I don't personally have a opinion on the blood. Hell, I think it adds character to the room. However, some of it is forgotten beast dust, and over 20 random kittens have bled to death, spreading more blood.  Frankly, the Merchants are getting creeped out by it, and they are okay with the Goblin remains everywhere, and the giant execution tower, AND the gladiator pit for Prisoners.
Sincerly, Your Overseer
P.S. Could you, in your copious spare time, also clean up after the kittens trailing blood? Frankly, It's becoming a certified mess. I will NOT allow dwarves to keep cats as pets if this continues, and they will all be subjected to the execution tower up-state.

[Sus]

Dear Urist McMason,

I don't care if your goddamn cat sat at the space that wall is supposed to go at the exact moment you wanted to build it. You could just wait for the damn thing to move or, even better, help it on its way with a hearty kick.

Instead, you decide to drop everything and mark the construction as "suspended", potentially risking a future breach of security. This is not acceptable. Stop it.

[WriterX]

Dear Urist McVampire,

  Could you please feed on the animals? Or the bodies of dead goblins or kobolds? I know there are a lot of delicious dwarves around, but if you had half a brain you would do your best *not* to anger all of them. Seriously.

Sincerely, Overseer.

[crazysheep]

Dear Urist McVampire,

  Could you please feed on the animals? Or the bodies of dead goblins or kobolds? I know there are a lot of delicious dwarves around, but if you had half a brain you would do your best *not* to anger all of them. Seriously.

Sincerely, Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

I like my blood warm, not decomposing. And I abhor bestiality.

Yours, Urist "Soon-to-be-Mayor" McVampire

[Corai]

Dear Urist McVampire,

  Could you please feed on the animals? Or the bodies of dead goblins or kobolds? I know there are a lot of delicious dwarves around, but if you had half a brain you would do your best *not* to anger all of them. Seriously.

Sincerely, Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

I like my blood warm, not decomposing. And I abhor bestiality.

Yours, Urist "Soon-to-be-Mayor" McVampire

Dear Urist "Soon-to-be-Mayor" McVampire,


Hey! Thats offensive!

Love, kobolds & goblins.

[crazysheep]

Dear Urist McVampire,

  Could you please feed on the animals? Or the bodies of dead goblins or kobolds? I know there are a lot of delicious dwarves around, but if you had half a brain you would do your best *not* to anger all of them. Seriously.

Sincerely, Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

I like my blood warm, not decomposing. And I abhor bestiality.

Yours, Urist "Soon-to-be-Mayor" McVampire

Dear Urist "Soon-to-be-Mayor" McVampire,


Hey! Thats offensive!

Love, kobolds & goblins.

Dear kobolds & goblins,

You're welcome to my fort for some fun and games by way of apology.

Love, Urist McVampire

[Corai]

Dear "Legendary" military of the rubbles of Ultrablue,




Tsk tsk tsk... Shameful. Simply shameful! You had adamanite armor, masterwork bluemetal longswords, legendary status. And you got whipped by kobolds. 50 kobolds did you in, even with the steel-clad assistance of the caravan. You did miserably, aside from Arkur, who took down twelve kobolds before dieing of blood loss. Then Omli got brained in three turns. Then Splint got crippled and impaled with arrows!

Resooth ran like a bitch and got mauled at the entrance of the mines, then the kobolds got in and slaughtered everyone!

Heres a fruitbasket to make you feel better.


With love, and a fruitbasket, Corai.

Dear kobolds,


Traitors.

Hate, Corai. Who just hired a human to hunt down your asses.

[EmperorJon]

Dear Urist "Soon-To-Be-Mayor" McVampire

Thanks for the invitation to your Goblin Christmas Party.
Grandma Goblin is knitting socks in anticipation.

From Snugbo.

[Dude_Jebawe]

Dear military dwarves,

I see you have opted to drop your axes on the ground and instead punch the zombies in the face. Good luck with that.

Your sceptical overseer.

Dear overseer,

Every time we cut a bit off it reanimates on its own! These poxy things are bad enough when they're mostly intact, but twenty different bits of the buggers coming after you all at once is just bloody creepy.

Can we form a squad or two armed with hammers so we can just punt them into the magma or something?

Your beleaguered militia.

Dear militia,

I was surprised to hear from you considering you are all dead. Also, there is no magma, we have not had time to dig that deep yet. The only nearby fluid is our water supply, and you're not punting zombies into that.

Your amused overseer.

PS I guess it's not surprising that you can still talk given where you died.