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[Gaybarowner]

Dear Uristmcnewborn

Go back into that cave you crawled out if

Signed Uristmcspearmasterwoman

[MadocComadrin]

Dear Uristmcnewborn

Go back into that cave you crawled out if

Signed Uristmcspearmasterwoman

EWW D:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Alternatively, "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going"







No, let's stick with "EWW D:"

[pisskop]

He meant the fortress.

[megahelmet]

Attention: All past, present, and future Urist McFishermen,

The fortress of Goldflash is in the middle of a terrifying rocky wasteland. There is no water. None. Therefore, there are no fish of any sort for you to catch. If you insist on coming to Goldflash, you will be left outside where you witness firsthand our beautiful and deadly cursed ash clouds that blow across the desert.

[Hamsmagoo]

No!  You have no right to throw a tantrum because your friend died of thirst when there's THREE different kinds of booze and a well!  If you're bored, help with these construction jobs that have been inactive for a month... but STOP PUNCHING THE MAYOR!

Oh great, now the mayor's throwing a temper tantrum...

[pisskop]

Dear 'Urist';

I'm speaking as a friend here, not your overseer.  I care about your wellbeing, specially in this young fort where your mining skills are essential.
  How in the world did you break both wrists?  You were on a desolate surface dvoid of life.  You were digging an exploratory tunnel in dirt to find our regional borders.  You were unconcious for almost a week!  What's up mate?  How did you do it?  Do I want to know?

Regards,
OS

[Gaybarowner]

Dear Uristmclazyasschildwhodoesnothingbuteatallthefood
I think you are all special but you need to go do something else other than sitting around eating my food!

I love you all
OS

[Callista]

Attention: All past, present, and future Urist McFishermen,

The fortress of Goldflash is in the middle of a terrifying rocky wasteland. There is no water. None. Therefore, there are no fish of any sort for you to catch. If you insist on coming to Goldflash, you will be left outside where you witness firsthand our beautiful and deadly cursed ash clouds that blow across the desert.

Dear Overseer,
There's fish in them thar cavern lakes!
Urists McFishermen

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Urist McRomney,

47% of you went one way, 53% went the other. You will never be mayor now.

-dwarven electorate

FWIW, I lol'ed 

Dear dorfs lost today to the GCS,

A good attempt, but alas, neither of you was prepared in any way.  Urist McFormerRecruitTurnedHammerdorfOnTheSpot avenged your deathsa, and you were properly interred.  Your spouses don't seem too perturbed, given the engravings and artifacts all over the fort.

the Overseer of Firegears

[Vehudur]

Dear UristMcMiner

When I tell you to mine a square, I expect you to take the shortest route, not walk around the giant cavern lake and uncover a forgotten nasty that should have forever remained forgotten on the other side.

[gbrngfol]

Dear Military Commander

When I tell you to gather your troops and lead them into battle I don't mean equip them with training weapons and hide in a corner until the fighting's over.

Yours sincerely That Dude Who Is Possibly Armok. ( or TDWIPA for short.)

[Akura]

Dear Urist McTantrum,
  Just because you're pissed about being called to duty when a Deep Crow or some other eldritch abombination attacks, and your pet pekyt is killed in the ensuing battle, it's no reason to destroy the trade depot, with two groups of traders from two really awesome civs there(especially AFTER we've given them some stuff for being awesome). I've removed you from the military(partly because unhappy dwarf+steel short sword=Fun), pending a proper execution. Possibly having some of the "stolen" items dropped on your head.
Sincerely,
Overseer.

Dear Dunedwellers,
  You guys are awesome. Coming in you kill a cobra. While there you kill three black bears. Going out you kill several more snakes. Next time, you helped take out two goblin ambushes. The time after that, you helped take down a Bronze Colossus. Here, have the statue it left behind. You earned it.
Sincerely,
Overseer.

PS: Sorry about McTantrum there. Know that his death will be entertaining.

[MantisMan]

Dear Dwarven Caravan,

We really appreciate your yearly visits, and the chance for trade, and the fact that your caravan is heavily guarded. Armok knows we can't get steel any other way in this area, and that your guards were a big help in fending off the goblin seige. I think your guards might have credit for taking out their unarmed general!

That aside, you left without making a trade. I know that most of the merchants in that caravan died, but at least one of them survived. With such a high traveling cost, shouldn't you have tried your hardest to trade? I think your dead merchant friends would have wanted it that way. At least you managed to take up my depot space and leave when you felt it was time, right? I hope your few remaining (badly injured) caravan guards are enough to protect you on your journey back to the mountainhomes.

With frustration, the overseer of Earthenpractices.

[Mr Space Cat]

Dear Urist McWingedTraders--

I can understand you guys entering our map while flying; it's not everyday a race of dwarves have wings and flight. I understand you'd want to enjoy your freedom. But really, what gives you the good idea of dragging your pack animals beind you, several z-levels in the air? What makes you think "Oh, we've neared the fort! Better drop my mule here and remember where I parked."

You guys store ALL THE GOODS on those pack animals! Dropping them several z-levels and leaving them there while you carry on to the trade depot is counter-productive to trade, which is your sole reason to exist! No, we will not give you a bunch of junk for nothing, we need that stuff we ordered last year! In fact, where's the stuff we ordered and desperately needed? Oh right, you dropped it with your mules back by the map edge.

You guys can go drop some mules off a cliff instead of coming down here next year. Makes no difference to us. Also, what's with the liaisons you bring? They're all a bunch of nuts who hover in midair for 6 months before finally meeting the mayor.  Bunch a' wackos.

We won't trade with you if you don't bring us some goods. We'd rather just take the elves' junk, at least they have mithril.

Sincerely, The Eldritch Sentience Which Laughs at the Irony of Winged Dwarves, better known as your overseer.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

An unexpected result of my modded flying dwarves was the screwed up dwarf merchant AI/interaction. Dwarf liaisons were really slowing down meetings, some taking so long the next caravan had arrived before the meeting even finished. Dorf merchants were literally entering the map with their animals trailing behind them in midair. The animals then realize they have no purpose floating in the air and drop like a sack of valuable goods and are ditched by the merchants.  no goods=no trade=no good sized migrant waves. the fort was growing so slowly I finally ditched it and moved on to the next fort with grounded dorfs. I may still have the save, but I don't think it'd be worth playing.

[Pyre]

Dear Human Merchants,

My fort is not your winter home, go away, and bring me some iron next time.

Piss off,
Overseer