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[Nyxalinth]

Dear Urist McFisherdwarf

Yes, I know you came here with high hopes to pursue your life-long ambition of fishing.  Yes, I know our lake is currently frozen over and so you cannot fish there.  I know this all, but please, stop trying to fish in the dining room's fountain.  There's nothing there, just like the last ten times you tried.

Sincerely,
Overseer of Crystalspires

Dear boss,

Well, the ponds all dried up and the volcano is too hot, so I thought I'd try the fountain a time....or ten.

Yrs.,

Urist McFisherman

[xominxac]

Dear Urist Febnalthish, Militia Captain of Erithtustem,

When I told you to sacrifice to Armok I meant bones. Now you won't be getting anymore masterpiece meals because you killed our only cook.

Sincerely, your overseer.

P.S. Is it possible to get someone by the name of Urist in vanilla DF? I'm using Masterwork mod with the ork plugin.

And if people don't think this is an actual dwarf...

[Niccolo]

Dear Urist Febnalthish, Militia Captain of Erithtustem,

When I told you to sacrifice to Armok I meant bones. Now you won't be getting anymore masterpiece meals because you killed our only cook.

Sincerely, your overseer.

P.S. Is it possible to get someone by the name of Urist in vanilla DF? I'm using Masterwork mod with the ork plugin.

And if people don't think this is an actual dwarf...

Of course you can. I normally end up with half a dozen or so "Urist" dwarves. xD There's a reason we picked that as the default name.

[xominxac]

Funny, because either I've never noticed it before or that was my first Urist, and I've been playing for at least a year (yes I'm a noob).

[talysman]

Dear Urist McRecruit,

When I tell you to go kill the giant flying earthworm that's spitting webs all over your comrades down below, you and your fellow soldiers should GO DO THAT, instead of attacking the unconscious cyclops because she happens to be closer. She's going to die anyways, so leave her alone.

And if you *are* going to ignore me and attack the cyclops, at least have the decency to go pick up a weapon instead of punching her with your fists. That's gonna take forever.

Signed,

Your Militia Commander

[misko27]

Urist McFisherMigrants

Why were you on the other side of the river? I could understand that it wasn't connected to yet, but how did the rest of your migrant party get here then, leaving only you 2 on that side? Also, I would like to express my vague surprise at how much fish you got while over there.

Dear MountainHomes
dafuq with the rangers and fishers. I need military recruits, not fish. Besides,I haven't seen a non-humanoid animal yet, so how useful is it anyway?

[GuesssWho]

Dear Urist McHauler,

Much of the things the expedition originally came with are still lying around outside, two seasons later. A piece of rope was just eaten by a small parrot. EXPLAIN!!!

--Mysterious goddess

ETA: The parrot is stealing all your cloth, WTF.

[Ki11aGhost]

Dear Urist McMerchant,

You can not drive your wagon through a 2x3 crevice filled with water. Use the bridge next time. (If there is a next time. You're currently glitched in the side of the moat, and don't expect me to make any effort at all to release you.)

Sincerely,
That guy who just robbed you blind.

[GuesssWho]

Dear Urist McLoonbar,

It's your own damn fault you kept chopping wood all through your Strange Mood. No one else was in the craft workshop that entire time. Stop mooning around like an idiot!

[Lolfail0009]

Oh, this thread is absolute <<gold>>.

Yes, I am just posting to follow, though I may have an Overseer Apprentice to yell at soon...

[GuesssWho]

Dear Urist McFisherdwarves,

WE HAVE NO FISH. There are no fish in the ponds. There are a couple turtles--none of which we can get to without a minor flood. Why do you keep coming?

Bewildered Overlord

[GreatWyrmGold]

If you wouldn't mind, flood the fortress. Nothing bad could go wrong, think of the mist!
--Fisherdwarves

[GuesssWho]

Dear fisherdwarves,

Too late, goblins have killed you all, except for the ones that went insane. Bye.

--Your bewildered goddess

[Onegodoneloveoneway]

Attention Urist McScaredypantshauler,
While I understand that goblins have a certain ugliness about them, please consider those that have been dumped naked on the pedestal behind the fortifications and are currently being used for target practice by a squad of marksdwarfs, no longer a threat. Please continue restocking the ammo stock pile so that the marks dwarfs can continue training and one day defend you.
As you were,
Engineer Overlord.

[MantisMan]

Dear MantisOverseer,
Was he injured? No, just drowning. It's against the outpost charter's rules to touch anyone unless they are injured, family, or in the same little square that you need to be in. It's embarrassing to just be touched whenever!
Sincerely,
Rule-following Hauler

Dear Hauler,
Yes he was injured. He was vomiting profusely and there was a decent amount of blood around him. He must have fallen around 2 z-levels when the water rushed in. His legs and guts, among other body parts, were injured, if I recall correctly. You would know this if you looked down into the well where the heaving sounds were coming from. You're lucky I commissioned another well that was free of vomit.