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[Lolfail0009]

Dear Urist McExMiner.

I gave you a blessing, if not an order. "Mine fast, run far"

That does not mean, "Mine fast, say prayer, burn, take a swig with Armok himself"

Die in a fire. Oh wait, you just did. 

No love,
Lolfail0009, Sound Of The Night

EDIT**

Fuck, there goes my other one too, making a Magma Smelter.

[Lolfail0009]

To Urdim Astilrom

Thank you for claiming the only Craftsdwarf's Workshop that is currently not in use.

Although, a Legendary Child is not a profession we look kindly upon here at Spearrain.

Signed,
Lolfail0009, Sound Of The Night

Edit**

Whoa. A spiked wild boar bone ball. Kudos to you kid, now I can prepare violent defenses!

[MaxZero]

Dear the Urist McMason twins

You cant finish building a wall when your standing on it! Why are you doing that‽ There is plenty of room around you!!!

Gaaaagh

[Donuts]

Dear urists mclazyasses
You neglected to remove the butterfly corpse blocking the door, letting in 15 goblins. Jeez, there was 147 of you. Hope that 2 month party and infinite break was worth it. Now that you are all dead, i hope you had a nice day.

-A very frustrated Donut

were you playing Boatmurdered or what?

Nope.

[Tarran]

Dear Uristmcghost: WHY DID YOU MURDER A GUY CARRYING A COFFIN. WHY.

FOR ALL YOU KNOW YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THE NEXT ONE TO BE PUT IN.

BUT YOU DECIDED TO BE AN ASSHOLE AND KILL A RANDOM GUY.

I HOPE HE GETS BURIED BEFORE YOU, JERK.

[Blucher]

Dear Urist McIdiot,

Why were cleaning the hatch cover at the bottom of the dump shaft? Yes, there was a small amount of blood there from the recently dumped goblin bodies and that ettin from last spring, but if you were so keen on tidiness, then why haven't you cleaned the gore and vomit covering nearly every square foot of the above-ground compound and tower?  You know, the stuff that has been there for years?  Seriously dude, you just HAD to be johnny-on-the-spot eager-beaver cleaner-dwarf rushing through the access passage to the bottom of the dump shaft standing right on the hatch cover just as it opened to drop everything (including yourself) into the magma flow...

Luckily you were a useless army-dwarf reservist/hauler.

Posthumously Yours,
The Overseer.

P.S. Thanks for wearing a nearly complete set of masterwork armor and weapons to your death.  We didn't need those at all.

[Akura]

Dear Urist McFlammable,
  I had all those corpses and skeletons piled up, and set to burn. Why, then, did you stand on the fire I had you start until you yourself was incinerated? Especially after giving a task other than standing in a fire? I'd tell you to go die in a fire, but that would be redundant.

Sincerely,
Overseer.

(Note: using the Bonfire building from Genesis mod. Maybe I should order a "small fire" rather than a large one?)

[Lumix]

Dear Urist.

Just because you can can break your finger, then pass out during an ambush, Doesn't mean you should.

I mean, Look at your friend over their, Arm cut off, Leg cut off, And he still fights on.

You pansy.

-The overseer

[DiezIrae]

Dear Urist McWereChameleon,

Please search another place to transform and don't kill your wife and baby if you want to tantrum because you had to bury her.

My word is law,
The one who looks upon you.

[Cyroth]

Dear human caravan

Please explain to me how you managed to get almost all of you killed by Keas.
Not giant Keas, no zombie Keas, not some flaming Keas from the deep hell itself. Just a flock of ordinary Keas.
Out of 2 guards 2 merchants and 2 pack animals only one donkey is still alive and currently making a beeline for the border.
As annoying as they are, they are still just birds.

If you are going to siege me for this I'm going to catch you, take you stuff and throw you into the Ettin pit.

Sincerely,
Friend Computer Overseer.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Cyroth,
You try killing something that keeps flying out of your reach!
SincerelAUGH IT POOPED IN MY EYES AGAIN!

[pisskop]

I know we are is dwarves.  I know mountains, irony, hardship, and booze are our mantras.  But did you have to decide to climb the bloody mountain to its peak?  It's surrounded by plains, for Armok's sake!  You really thought arriving and climbing the mountain was nesscessary?  You know you just made a hell of a lot of hauling now, don't you?  I hope theose Giant Dingos I heard on the way in get you snack on your inny-parts.

Spirit in the Sky (but not a god)

[Shash The Stampede]

Dear Urist McNaive,

You'll only get hurt in the end. The alligators are only interested in your body. They look at you like a piece of meat. Stop hanging out with them after I have forbidden it.

-your now gore spattered overseer

[Lolfail0009]

Dear dwarves.

The Sapiocoatls are finished. I render my services unto them, and relieve you of said services.

Au revoir, amigos!

Lolfail0009, Sound Of The Night

P.S.

My new Overlady, Ivit Ijamoribe, says hi. They want you to know that unnecessary violence is abhorrent. DO NOT attempt to siege us.

[gbrngfol]

Dear War Rabbit

I must congratulate you on that bite you just performed on a goblin in the testing arena. I don't know how you did it but you chewed through a steel helmet just to rip his ear off. Thanks to you rabbits now replace dogs in all my forts from this point onward.


Yours gratefully,

Random Homicidal Maniac.


PS: A note to that test-minecart. YOUR PARKED IN MY SPOT!!!!!!!!