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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1511410 times)

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4020 on: July 05, 2012, 12:59:04 pm »

Dear Irritated voice,
Why not?
Humans
 Also, it isnt a god, its a demon who tricked the humans into thinking it was a god. They're stupid, you're not, know the difference.
How do we know it wasn't a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?

tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4021 on: July 05, 2012, 01:32:08 pm »

Dear Irritated voice,
Why not?
Humans
 Also, it isnt a god, its a demon who tricked the humans into thinking it was a god. They're stupid, you're not, know the difference.
How do we know it wasn't a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?
How do we know that you aren't tricking us into thinking that it was a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4022 on: July 05, 2012, 01:34:26 pm »

Dear Irritated voice,
Why not?
Humans
 Also, it isnt a god, its a demon who tricked the humans into thinking it was a god. They're stupid, you're not, know the difference.
How do we know it wasn't a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?
How do we know that you aren't tricking us into thinking that it was a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?


So it's Schrodinger's god?
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WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4023 on: July 05, 2012, 03:35:34 pm »

Dear Irritated voice,
Why not?
Humans
 Also, it isnt a god, its a demon who tricked the humans into thinking it was a god. They're stupid, you're not, know the difference.
How do we know it wasn't a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?
How do we know that you aren't tricking us into thinking that it was a god that tricked the demons into thinking it was a demon then showed the humans it was really a god but tricked the dwarves into believing it was a demon that had tricked the humans into believing it was a god?


So it's Schrodinger's god?
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Syuviel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4024 on: July 05, 2012, 03:45:21 pm »

Dear Hooman civilization,

Why? why everything. Why did your caravan come with nothing but cheese, anvils, sand, and clay? Why did you bring a terrifying goatgod with you? Why did you insist on taking your wagons the long way around to get inside?

~The perpetually irritated voice in the sky.
Dear Irritated voice,
Why not?
Humans
 Also, it isnt a god, its a demon who tricked the humans into thinking it was a god. They're stupid, you're not, know the difference.
Dear Hoomans,
I'm trying to stay in good regards with you, due mostly to your habit of bringing shiny metal toys that i can melt down, and animals to join my military. however, when the most valuable thing you bring me is cheese, I may have to rethink our current trading arrangement in preference of something with more weight to it. [Translated: I'll drop a mountain on you.]

~ Love and Kisses, The Voice.

((also thanks for the tip, but it did little to reassure the 12 militiadwarves that died trying to kill it. thank armok for save-scumming.))


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Zecro_The_Scourge

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4025 on: July 06, 2012, 06:35:14 am »

Dear urist, when I have you build a moat I expect you to not somehow fall under a collapsing roof or cause the roof to collapse on other dwarves.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4026 on: July 06, 2012, 07:00:19 am »

Dear urist, when I have you build a moat I expect you to not somehow fall under a collapsing roof or cause the roof to collapse on other dwarves.
The problem here is that your expectations are too high.

Syuviel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4027 on: July 06, 2012, 11:09:42 am »

Dear ghost of the child whose atoms i failed to smash properly,

We're having quite enough fun here right now thank you, and we definitely don't need you wandering around harassing dorfs in our crafthalls. Especially while they are trying to engrave a slab to appease you. NOW SOD OFF.

~The Voice.
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krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4028 on: July 06, 2012, 02:16:34 pm »

Dear urist, when I have you build a moat I expect you to not somehow fall under a collapsing roof or cause the roof to collapse on other dwarves.
The problem here is that your expectations are too high.
As was the roof ...
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Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

TheDarkStar

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4029 on: July 06, 2012, 03:00:57 pm »

Dear Urist McSuicidal,

          WHY did you walk straight into the channal with lava at the bottom, even though you knew excactly what was there and had plenty of other places to stand?
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Syuviel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4030 on: July 06, 2012, 03:15:52 pm »

Dear Urist McSuicidal,

          WHY did you walk straight into the channal with lava at the bottom, even though you knew excactly what was there and had plenty of other places to stand?
Dear Avatar of Armok,

He must have had cold feet. I'll tell the boys to make Slade shoes.

~The Mayor

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Frontestro

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4031 on: July 06, 2012, 03:34:13 pm »

Dear Urist McObviousVampireMayor,

While I appreciate the fact that you appear to like native gold and bolts as the only things you chose to mandate of which I have plenty of both I do not like the fact that you have drained enough blood from my fortress to please Armok two times over and still havn't killed anyone so I can't pin any murders on you. Not to mention the fact that not once but twice you have prevented me from trading anything to the incoming carivans by preventing the export of bolts when I have hundreds left over from the last seige and the other time earrings which appears to be the only thing my crafts dwarfs want to make. I hope you find your new abode. (A 4x4 room with a pump leaver) Accommodating as you shall be in here for the rest of your unnatural life.

Sincerely yours, The Overseer
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4032 on: July 06, 2012, 03:53:41 pm »

Dear odd-skilled migrants,
   We have no need of your potash-making, soaping, and farming skills. As such, you have only two options. Become skilled in another skill, preferably mining, masonry, alchemy, or carpentry, or sign up for DRoom1, when it is finished. I give you the choice. Be useful, or be wiped from existence wiped off of the wall.
                                                                           Signed, your loving overseer : D
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krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4033 on: July 06, 2012, 05:58:54 pm »

Dear Urist McObviousVampireMayor,

While I appreciate the fact that you appear to like native gold and bolts as the only things you chose to mandate of which I have plenty of both I do not like the fact that you have drained enough blood from my fortress to please Armok two times over and still havn't killed anyone so I can't pin any murders on you. Not to mention the fact that not once but twice you have prevented me from trading anything to the incoming carivans by preventing the export of bolts when I have hundreds left over from the last seige and the other time earrings which appears to be the only thing my crafts dwarfs want to make. I hope you find your new abode. (A 4x4 room with a pump leaver) Accommodating as you shall be in here for the rest of your unnatural life.

Sincerely yours, The Overseer
I would think a vampire mayor that doesn't kill his victims subjects would be considered a good thing!

And you can still export bolts.  You are just more limited in who or, more importantly, how you export them. (Marksdwarves! Ready! Aim! ...)
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4034 on: July 06, 2012, 10:23:56 pm »

Dear Tirist,

Did you really have to stop the wagon immediately next to the river, and right next to the only alligator on the map on my first try embarking with ore and stone, instead of picks and axes?  *Sigh* At least you take pleasure in bringing water to Fikod since she can't walk on that foot anymore.

T.I.V.P.Y.W.A.C.
That Invisible Voice Providing You With Advice and Council

Dear Bitch,

Your puppies will be honored in our fortress, and will (I hope) guard the dwarves as well as you did on 1 Granite, 1000 when you bravely attacked the alligator that had just ripped the stomach out of our other bitch, and mauled one of the llamas, not to mention attempting to bite off Fikod's left foot.  The dog was over by the wagon looking for a snack, so I'm considering chaining him up near the entrance as bait for whatever attacks us next.  You and your line, however, will be receiving the best combat training we can provide to ensure you continue your wonderful service to our fort.

T.I.V.P.Y.W.S.A.
That Invisible Voice Providing You With Snacks and Attention
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"
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