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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1553264 times)

krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4050 on: July 11, 2012, 06:42:25 pm »

Recruit has transformed into a werecarp!
... something fishy with this one ...
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

misko27

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4051 on: July 11, 2012, 10:45:04 pm »

Recruit has transformed into a werecarp!
Turning enemies into were carp is like giving your enemies a army of large invisible trained mosquitos. It is going to bite you in the ass eventually, and when it does, it is going to Hurt!!
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4052 on: July 11, 2012, 11:10:49 pm »

Recruit has transformed into a werecarp!
Turning enemies into were carp is like giving your enemies a army of large invisible trained mosquitos. It is going to bite you in the ass eventually, and when it does, it is going to Hurt!!
Unless everyone, dwarves and gobbos, gets infected. Then all will be united under the full moon, creating an invincible army. Mwahahahahahaha!
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4053 on: July 11, 2012, 11:11:36 pm »

Recruit has transformed into a werecarp!
Turning enemies into were carp is like giving your enemies a army of large invisible trained mosquitos. It is going to bite you in the ass eventually, and when it does, it is going to Hurt!!
Unless everyone, dwarves and gobbos, gets infected. Then all will be united under the full moon, creating an invincible army. Mwahahahahahaha!

Then turn back 2 seconds later. Naked and unarmed.
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Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Eric Blank

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4054 on: July 12, 2012, 01:16:38 am »

And at that point the dwarves would wipe out all goblin-dom, with their superior biting and wrestling skills.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Syuviel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4055 on: July 12, 2012, 10:29:39 am »

Dear Urist McLegendaryBoneCarver

I'm impressed. When you got moody, and took over a crafting station, i expected another worthless mug. When you took a ton of wood, leather, gems and a couple bones, i expected a shitty, overly complex medallion.

Instead you took the two donkey bones and made a cabinet, which is handy because the mayor really wanted an office that i was otherwise unprepared to grant.


~~~~~

Dear Elves,

You are mistaken, that is donkey bone, not wood. It was never a tree, it is not a rude bauble, and as i'm sure you are aware, donkey's aren't animals, either. They are mobile quantum storage units, and as such, their bones should be perfectly acceptable.

you may notice that i have installed Ballistae on two sides of the trade depot. This is a precautionary measure, and not in any way to be used to quickly dispatch your finicky merchants. 
« Last Edit: July 12, 2012, 10:37:33 am by Syuviel »
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Togre

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4056 on: July 12, 2012, 05:51:13 pm »

Dear Urist McMacedwarf,

While I am generally not a fan of soldiers using their hands instead of their weapons, I must admit to being impressed when you punched the beak off a buzzard. :o  Carry on.

Sincerely,

Your astounded overseer
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"Hey guys, you know how I've been repeatedly injuring you over and over again for the purpose of training up a team of high skilled doctors? Yeah well we didn't actually need to do that."

EckyThump

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4057 on: July 12, 2012, 07:08:30 pm »

Dear Urist McHauler,

Please stop wandering off with the farmers' seed bags. Your hands are large enough to accommodate more than one plump helmet seed without needing to take a bag with you to the dining hall. Our fortress is home to some of the most renowned craftsmen, artists and soldiers of the dwarven nation. Nobody is impressed that you can lift a bag of seeds.

Sincerely,

The Overseer.
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misko27

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4058 on: July 13, 2012, 12:02:41 am »

Dear Urist McHauler,

Please stop wandering off with the farmers' seed bags. Your hands are large enough to accommodate more than one plump helmet seed without needing to take a bag with you to the dining hall. Our fortress is home to some of the most renowned craftsmen, artists and soldiers of the dwarven nation. Nobody is impressed that you can lift a bag of seeds.

Sincerely,

The Overseer.

Dear overseer,
Well, It's mostly trying to find a way to waste more time and effort. your so mean, making me work, and in order for me to help out I need time napping and drinking. With you being all strict, I gotta make time, you know?
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Firehawk45

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4059 on: July 13, 2012, 11:13:47 am »

And at that point the dwarves would wipe out all goblin-dom, with their superior biting and wrestling skills.

We have not just weaponized werecurses, have we?
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WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4060 on: July 13, 2012, 11:36:23 am »

And at that point the dwarves would wipe out all goblin-dom, with their superior biting and wrestling skills.

We have not just weaponized werecurses, have we?
Pffft, they were weaponized long ago.
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Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
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Syuviel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4061 on: July 13, 2012, 11:37:37 am »

Dear urist McGhostBabby

What do you want? I've entombed every entombable thing on the map, and your name isn't on my list of names available for engravement, please stop following my farmers around like a creepster. I appreciate that you aren't violent, but you're weirding out the people who are responsible for feeding my fort.
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Joben

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4062 on: July 13, 2012, 12:35:48 pm »

How is ghost babby formed?

------------

Dear Urist McSpeardwarf

While I applaud your bravery and desire to defend the fort I do wish you had remained on station at the trade depot until the rest of your squad had assembled rather than rushing out to face the 12 goblin crossbowmen alone.
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Broken Arrow - A small stats tweak to fix unrealistically overpowered arrows and bolts.

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Frontestro

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4063 on: July 13, 2012, 02:18:31 pm »

Dear Urist Mchauler,

While I appreciate your dedication to a task, depositing that chunk of tetrahedrite ore in a stone stockpile was not as important as you thought especially because you had to walk all the way out of the fortress to get it and drag it halfway cross the map while ungathered pieces are merely 1 floor below you. You were doing great but when I told you to get to a burrow and everyone else listened you remainded detirmined to get that ore where it was needed. As such the crossbow goblin siege caught you off guard. I hope Armok enjoys your sacrifice and dedication to a task. Please enjoy your useless coffin I used to level up my masons.

Sincerely, The All-seer
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HoshiGiniro

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4064 on: July 14, 2012, 04:44:26 am »

Dear Dwarved Hunter,

I can understand one's desire to be proficient in their profession. However, repeatedly breaking arrows on a defenseless cow that has fallen unconscious in the field is not only a waste of perfectly good arrows, but a highly inefficient training method. Next time you feel the need to improve your aim, might I remind you to only use the facilities at the archery range that have been tested and pre-approved by the Dwarven Archery Standards Association.

Sincerely The OverseerGoddess of the Sky.
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