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[Pathos]

Honestly? I'd suggest just leaving it. The guy will hate you, she'll hate you, you'll have gained nothing from it and just hurt their relationship. Although, since you've been boning his girlfriend, you're probably a bit of a dick.

[Muz]

Eh, I didn't bother to read the replies to the thread because there's probably a lot of trolling comments

Here's what a friend did... he knew the girl he was dating had a boyfriend. Didn't know if she loved him, but he did know what it was like to be cheated on. He really liked her, got along with her very well.

Eventually, he decided that he has to deal with the boyfriend thing. So he told her straight up that he's eventually going to dump her some day. He said stuff about how she had to deal with it, and it's up to her how to do it. Well, that girl dumped her boyfriend a few days later. And we were all (sarcastically) cheering that guy about how good he was as stealing people's girlfriends, but he insists that he didn't want to have any part in it.

Anyway, that girl's ex went on a good rebound and found some other girlfriend a month later. She's still with my friend now, but he spends a lot of money and time on her, worried that she might cheat on him. And we're still making fun of him whenever he doesn't hang out with us to be with her.


Also know another girl who stole another girl's boyfriend. She was happy with him for around 2 years or so, but apparently she's single now. Not really a life partner there.


Not saying anything here, your case could be entirely different and this might not apply. Do what you must. But you should (and probably do) know that you'll have to deal with it eventually.

[smigenboger]

He ain't your home boy

Telling him only soothes your own guilt

You got away with it, it's over now, there's no point in getting yourself involved with him. Might as well move on and prevent any damage.

[Greatoliver]

Ignorance is bliss... He nevers needs to know.  Telling him would probably do more damage than not, as he'll forever be plagued by the fact that he was wrong to think he could trust this girl...

Walk away, but learn from your mistakes...

[Master Catfish]

Well, you guys have convinced me not to tell him the details.  I'll let her know that she should really tell him and leave it at that.

Maybe it's because no one's ever cheated on me, but I don't actually feel a lot of guilt here, except perhaps for hurting her.  I wonder if I should see a counselor about that? 

Part of me wishes it were the good ol' days where they guy could just challenge me to a duel.

[Eagleon]

If it were me I'd want the other person to tell me. Granted I'm pretty unusual in my takes on relationships, but IMO people can't grow unless they're exposed to the truth, and I really, really would not want to be with someone that's willing to go behind my back. That's just disgusting on so many levels. You'd be doing the guy a favor unless he's an emo fucktard that can't learn properly from his mistakes in choices of women.

If nothing else, remember the golden rule. You might be in a similar situation in the future.

[Electronic Phantom]

@Eagleon: I thought it was called "Karma"?

-(e)EP

[Eagleon]

@Eagleon: I thought it was called "Karma"?

-(e)EP

What? No. I hope you're kidding - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_rule It's an important principle in many faiths. That includes karma, but it's not necessary to believe in the cyclic principles of Buddhism to understand that if you provide a socially fruitful example of how to treat other people, they might follow your example, and you may benefit down the line as a result.

[Master Catfish]

Well, I told her that I couldn't be a part of her life any more, if things didn't change.  She seems unable to leave her boyfriend, despite trying numerous times.  I told her she needed to stop lying, but didn't push the topic. 

It hurt a lot to tell her to get out of my life, but I'm going to stand by it.  Anyone got tips for dealing with a broken heart?  I don't think I've ever felt this unhappy before.

[Nikov]

It hurt a lot to tell her to get out of my life, but I'm going to stand by it.  Anyone got tips for dealing with a broken heart?  I don't think I've ever felt this unhappy before.

Reflect deeply upon your sinful nature then seek divine forgiveness through Jesus Christ, then strive to live a more virtuous life.

Or do what everyone else is going to suggest and take perscription drugs from your parents cabinet, then blow your brains out.

[Kebooo]

Honestly, you should tell him.  What does it prove?  That she is willing to cheat on him - you probably won't be the last she cheats with, there's no reason to think that for him, the deceit is over simply because you and her are over.  Suppose they end up together for decades, and he finally catches her cheating on him with someone else, or another guy decides to tell him, I can only imagine how broken his heart would be then, certainly worse than it would be now.  Better to save him the trouble of having an untrustworthy girlfriend, as well.

[nenjin]

Learn to accept the concept that you might spend the rest of your life alone.

When you can accept that, and can live with yourself, you'll finally be ready for a real relationship.

[Master Catfish]

Reflect deeply upon your sinful nature then seek divine forgiveness through Jesus Christ, then strive to live a more virtuous life.

Or do what everyone else is going to suggest and take perscription drugs from your parents cabinet, then blow your brains out.

I dislike both of these options.  I honestly don't think someone can simply choose to believe something at will.  I'm agnostic, and (probably) always will be.  Drugs don't help either, though I expect I will be doing a fair bit of drinking.  Also, my parents don't take any prescription drugs.

Learn to accept the concept that you might spend the rest of your life alone.

I don't know if I can do that.  I'm human, and an organism that's designed to be social.  Have you ever actually been able to do this?

[nenjin]

Working on it. Last relationship went kerplooie, so I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten it right yet. Then again, I was alone for like 7 years before my last one...and I wasn't looking for a relationship at all. The less I worry about relationships and being someone, the more opportunities seem to find me.

The point is though, that when you're comfortable with the idea of being alone, truly ok with it, you don't make all the stupid mistakes and compromises people make in pursuit of having someone, or being had. My dad, in his 50s, said to me one day "Son, I quit women. I don't need them, I don't need sex, I don't need any of it."

A year later, he found the woman he's been with for like, shit, 7 years now.

[Master Catfish]

Yeah, I had been fine with the idea of being alone for some time now, to the degree of passing up a few potential relationships because I liked being independent.  I liked this girl so much though, because she never judged me.  I could tell her anything, and she'd love me for all my faults.  I guess that's why I put up with the obvious wrongness of it all for so long. 

After having a taste of such a wonderful thing, I want more of it.  I don't know if I can the same from other people, though. 

Haha, now I just feel like I'm venting.