Huh, I like hearing all this legal stuff from a completely unverifiable but still possibly true source. I always found some things in Law and Order hilarious, like during sentencing for a crime the victim still has the same bruises from being assaulted. They make it seem like an entire murder case goes by in a week. I mean I know they have the dates written there, but I've never bothered to check them. Maybe they just reapply the bruise makeup out of habit and then pretend the victim fell down the stairs just before the verdict.
My uncle does copyright law in Hong Kong. It's boring as hell, ridiculously profitable, and completely alienating. The man's in his mid fifties and he's never married. Though that might just be him. He lost a girlfriend trying to buy human-skin lampshades. Long story, but they were antique.
Yeah, that's a different, entirely better and transactional form of law. For the most part, he's probably got something close to a result he can promise. That'd be lovely.
________
In other news, we have a "Post-Representation Survey." These seem to be utterly useless documents to provide clients an avenue to complain over everything. They complain no matter what it seems, because things just didn't come sugar coated, shitting cute puppies everywhere that barf up one hundred dollar bills for everyone, or heaven forbid they didn't win their case, which no one can promise them....
I just got cussed out on the, "Please write down any comments or suggestions you may have to help us better serve our clients in the future," part of it, again. I really hate people. You can't buy a win and even if you somehow could what about the other side who would also be "buying a win," from their lawyer? Also damn that doesn't sound corrupt in a criminal law sense does it?
If both opposing armies pray to god for victory, then who gets it? Both baseball teams in the game get paid, winner and loser, because both are needed for trial/game, and if it was rigged beforehand that wouldn't be fair or a game worth watching....
Client's comments, "You lawyers should die. You bastards do NOTHING at all but take money away from hard working people like me. I don't understend [sic] how you fuckers sleep at night knowing your [sic] killing the whole god damn world. You should pay for the case you screwed up and not me. I'm gonna report you to the bar and they'll presecute [sic] you for how much you fucking ruined this simple case. You dont' [sic] know what your [sic] doing and screwed up and I have to pay for it!? You said something about Justice. Where is it?
[The rest is redacted as it gets into even more profanity and case details]."
The bottom of the form has the following printed on it. "Thank you again. It was our privilege to represent you." No. No, it wasn't.... Spent hours on this case working every angle possible. Avoid going to law school kids. Just don't do it.
As for my authenticity, you can't fake being this jaded. I charged this man a total of $2000 to go all the way to trail on this matter, plus $1000 for a court reporter to take a deposition and a $100 filing fee to the court. I don't know another lawyer around here who would offer him better or close to that. I happen to know opposing counsel charged about $13000 lock stock and barrel....