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[Vorthon]

It's disgusting and foul, and to be frank, I'd rather gnaw off my own arm than eat it.

[RedKing]

Not being able to eat cheese at all would suck, poor redking. 

Oh, I can eat it (and do, from time to time). I just pay for it an hour or two later. The effect is not dissimilar from the cartoon gag of swallowing a cherry bomb and having it go off in your stomach. 

My son is a fair bit more serious issue. It's the actual milk protein that causes him problems as opposed to the sugars. And it makes him phlegm up so that he sounds like Darth Vader with a bad chest cold. Takes him weeks to get over it, and even a small amount of something like mac-n-cheese will trigger it. Imagine being a kid and not being able to have mac-n-cheese. 

I hope he'll grow out of it. But it's further incentive to try and make our house as dairy-free as possible. Which is when I began to realize just how much damn dairy is in everything. Even non-cheese stuff, milk casein gets used as a thickener.

The bitter irony is that I grew up consuming vast quantities of milk, ice cream and cheese. At some point, my genes kicked in and said, "Right, that's enough of THAT!" and stopped making lactase. I'm only moderately comforted by the fact that mitochondrial DNA analysis shows that retaining full lactase production past puberty is actually a late mutation in Homo sapiens, arising in Northern Europe. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

[Hanslanda]

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

This... This is awesome.

[Sirus]

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

I...have no problems with this. Scrawniest Viking ever, hell yeah!

[RedKing]

Spoiler: Behold your ancestor! (click to show/hide)

[Loud Whispers]

what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

Evolve or die RedKing. There's a dairy revolution happening, and you'd best pick the winning side

[Putnam]

I fucking hate cheese. Too much fat. I don't like fat or sugar.

[Vorthon]

But it's delicious! Especially feta. So salty. Although feta that isn't soaked in brine is terrible.

[nenjin]

Havarti. All day, every day.

Also Munster.

And Gorgonzola and Gouda for cream sauces.

[Vorthon]

OHGODYES. Havarti. I'd totally forgotten about that. Definitely picking some up when I get the chance.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I like being a Viking mutant, thank you very much.

[MaximumZero]

Hellishly sharp cheddar is good stuff. As is Habanero Jack.

[RedKing]

what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

Evolve or die RedKing. There's a dairy revolution happening, and you'd best pick the winning side

Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you, you frommage freak! You curd-eating cur! You...Limburger...umm....limb?

FWIW, the more aged and "sour" the cheese is, the less problems I have because most of the lactose is converted into lactic acid by the bacteria. Hard cheese like peccorino or Romano or Parmesan, only a minor problem. Double Cream Brie, on the other hand, is a delicious exercise in masochism. Feta is pretty much safe (and OMNOMNOM). I don't often find them, but those Spanish acid-set cheeses are usually okay too, along with Indian paneer.

EDIT: Oh, and yogurt. Yogurt is a godsend. Basically, anything with enough microbes in it to nom all the sugars away is my friend.

[Loud Whispers]

what I'm saying is that I'm a "pure" human and you're all Viking mutants. 

Evolve or die RedKing. There's a dairy revolution happening, and you'd best pick the winning side

Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you, you frommage freak! You curd-eating cur! You...Limburger...umm....limb?

You leave me no choice.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Activate the cheese.

[penguinofhonor]

Isn't there medication for lactose intolerance? I don't know how effective it is, but it should be worth taking a pill to eat your brie, shouldn't it?