Dervin, your on the waiting list, sorry mate.
TURN ONEWar DOGS please... I put some other kinda animal on guard duty
[4] You quickly run into your animal kennels and bring out a pair of (4) angry looking war dogs ("budget cuts bud" as the man had said). [6] You quickly tie the pair up on either side of the entrance, a little to tight, they look a bit out of breath. [3] You then haul ass back to your dining room for some grub and drinks. That was a busy day at the office wasint it.
Why would ye waste perfectly good spears by diggin' 'em into a ditch to kick immigrants in?
Those spears would be better served with the military.
I say we just toss 'em into the river!
Let the carp separate the weak from the worthy!
*walks away grumbling about new immigrants havin' no respect, just waltzing right on into the fortress like they're all welcome*
Watch how ye deal with immigrants.
This tree is a soapmaker.
*rips sapling out of the ground and tosses it into the river, where it is rapidly shredded by the carp*
No need to clean up or waste spears.
(This is what happens when you dont post a turn and you leave a nice opertunity for me to [mis]interperate what you want me to do
)
[2] Yelling and hollering at the migrants who just stare at you with dumb, blank faces, you quickly lose your temper. [6] A river full of full carp, a migrant group missing three people with two survivors and a slightly persperating officer later, the (remaining) group rush too and through, piling sticks and branchs next to the pit, where a skilled woodcrafter who was ordered to come sat shaping spears. [6] By the end of your shift, a pile of sharp spears are ready [6] and two rows of spears planted... Ow and the crafter had a tantrum and harpooned a passing dwarf in the head with a spear. [1] The fort guard, when they arrived were all killed [all five of them] by the maniac before [2] he runned into the town. Crap this isint going to look good. [1] It isint. Your put in jail for the rest of the day, pending on charges on worker negligence and the organised murder of all the guards. [5] You, how ever are let go as the warden and the citys head judge is your cousin. [2] Triping over on the way, skining your nose, you head off to get some grub and drink [5] ripping a full grown tree out of the ground and chucking it into the river [3] where it knocks out your favorite carp. AWWWW
Search the pit for useful materials.
[1] After sleeping in all day in the coffin pit, you wake up and slam head first into one of the many dead bodys lieing around. [5] Just as your about to give up your "ditch diving" day, you see your officer be pulled away to prison! SCORE! [4] Sliding down into the ditch you start to look for anything usefull. {Auto-fail} [6] What the bloody hell do you mean usefull you stupid, larva sucking, granite head! Whilst you find nothing, you develop a skill for insulting, on the level that all your cousins would be proud of. [5] You also find a little pendant on the ground.... Odd... [4] You climb out of the ditch and walk to the dining room for your feed of grub and a drink. [+ 0.5 insulting]
Stand around until Olon tells me to do something. (Well I am that idiot.)
[1] As you watch before your eyes, the crafting dwarve goes nuts and kills a passing dwarf. At the same time you fall of the bloody drawbridge and K.O yourself on the hard ground. [1] You also lose your mothers pendant. Mother! [3] Shaking yourself, you get up from the ground, {Auto-Fail} [2] Before falling back over from concussion and knocking yourself clean out. [6] A passing cow dung seller drops some dung on you, but at least he sees you! [4] He calls the medic dwarves who carry you to the entrance guard infirmary. [-3 all physical things next turn]
Go into a pub to gather information about gangs and such
[2] You attempt to sneak out the back to the guard barracks to steal a coif and robe but your knocked over by a very crazy looking man with a spear. [5] Shaking yourself, you continue and don the gear and then try to get away from your officer (your meant to be at your post 24-7). {Auto-win} [5] You watch as hes carted to jail and you sneak into a near by Pub called "The Drunken Shoe". [6] You attempt to walk in quietly, you do so well every one turns around and claps for your amazing sneaking skills before continuing to laugh and drink. [3] You sit down and order a drink, using the few coins in your robe. [3] The man nods and fills you a tankard full of [3] plain elvish made dwarven beer. Dam imports. [4] The man next to you leans over and says "I know your an entrance guard but listen, I have a deal for you". [6] "Join our group as our inside man.... OR DIE" says the dwarf as he pulls a switch blade on you. [1] You try to disagree and a man from behind knocks you out. [6] When you wake up your still in the bar... THERES JUST A HUGE PUB FIGHT HAPPENING! [2] You stand to leave and are knocked over by a stray punch [3] You clumsly get out of the pub, [1] right as your officer walks past. {Auto-win} [5] Thankfully, hes to busy chucking a tree in the river. You follow him to the dining room.
DINING ROOM: [3] A very average looking place with [5] amazing, premium beer, whiskey and spirts [4] and four star roasts. Looks good.
People eating:
Foran: [3] Despite the awsome food and drinks your given, you still feel a little sorry for the dogs you chained up tight. [1] You stand up to go lossen them off and get punched over.... DINING ROOM FIGHT! Sadly, that punch was a goodie, your out for the whole period [-1 for missing a DINING ROOM FIGHT next turn]
Olon: {Auto-win} [5] No one touchs you as you eat your amazing meal, after seeing you do that to that tree AND THAT CARP, there kinda afraid of you.... Gooooood..... [+0.5 NPC guard interaction]
Zuntir: [3] DINING ROOM FIGHT? WHERE! [2] You charge in, auto-maticaly geting layed down by a cloths line. [6] You stand back up so fast, you knock the two hardiest fighters out with your legs. {Auto-fail} [2] Every one stops, there afraid of you. You slip over a pool of blood on your way back. You cry a bit. You were having fun.
Urist Mc: [1] As soon as you sit down, you skull half a barrel of [1] knock out whiskey.... Nnnnniiiiiggggghhhhhtttt, Niiiiiiggggghhhhtttt.
Sleeping: [1] The commanders, angry at all of you, make every one sleep on the cold stone in the dining room.... AWWW