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[eerr]

Everybody agree to fight a brutal and vicious war.

Then there won't be as much hard-feeling afterward.

Then also realize she probably took off with some other guy anyway.

Draw straws.

[Vertigon]

The forum has been giving me trouble lately, but I finally got on. The result:

She turned them both down. Heh heh.

[Cheddarius]

Initiate Operation Bone Brooch.

[Coidzure Dreams]

Now.  Wait a month and seduce her with an artifact after a taco bell run.

Clearly though, from the start, this was an issue that could only be solved properly with pathing.  So whoever got to her first.  But if one got thirsty or hungry or tired on the way there they'd have to cancel the task.

Or if they saw a fatty and got scared.

[Vertigon]

What made it the worst (I know it's not over, but whatever) is that she told me that 1 of them liked her, and he lied to me, and I broke the news to him, and then he beat up the other friend, and then they were both turned down, and now they're best friends again, and they hate me now. :C

[FreakyCheeseMan]

Just remember: Women are like Plump Helmet Men.
I think you can figure out the rest for yourself.

[Vertigon]

Just remember: Women are like Plump Helmet Men.
I think you can figure out the rest for yourself.

... You brew them? Eat them raw?

Joking.

[Coidzure Dreams]

Kill the others, make them into a fabulous bone brooch, and give it to her as a gift.

[Jude]

Told you "letting her choose" was a bad idea

Wouldn't have taken a genius to know "letting her choose" would mean she would choose to stay the hell away from both/all people asking

Also, your chances are now ruined if she knows you're friends with those two, whereas if one of you had asked her out that person would have at least had a marginal chance of success

[Grakelin]

Protip: Having stupid friends doesn't make you any less eligible.

[Jude]

It could actually

Social status is a big thing

Of course, I was mainly saying that because if she realizes he was part of this trifecta of awkward creepiness too, his chances are shot

[Pathos]

It could actually

Social status is a big thing

Of course, I was mainly saying that because if she realizes he was part of this trifecta of awkward creepiness too, his chances are shot

She's quite right. Jude, your suggestion of, if the girl rejects him, the OP abducting her and making her into a beautiful, beautiful artifact bone ring is something I heartily approve of.

Do what she says, OP.

[Jude]

 Jude, your suggestion of, if the girl rejects him, the OP abducting her and making her into a beautiful, beautiful artifact bone ring is something I heartily approve of.

Um?

[Coidzure Dreams]

It could actually

Social status is a big thing

Of course, I was mainly saying that because if she realizes he was part of this trifecta of awkward creepiness too, his chances are shot

Hmm?  The only awkward part I know of is that they knew about the others liking her.  As far as creepiness, the idea of making the other guys into masterpiece bone jewelry for her far outclasses the whole bickering over dibs thing.

[Pathos]

Jude, your suggestion of, if the girl rejects him, the OP abducting her and making her into a beautiful, beautiful artifact bone ring is something I heartily approve of.

Um?

I understand. It's not your fault my approval knocked you senseless.

OP, we're all behind you on this, do it.