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Author Topic: A savior is born!  (Read 3401 times)

Demiurge

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A savior is born!
« on: April 07, 2010, 06:38:07 pm »

Today the forgotten beast Ngok Gulshebsathbap came to our fortress. He reigned the tunnels away from the fort and so the dwarves slowly forgot about the danger. But no more! A dwarf has interrupted his given tasks, the mighty beasts disturbs him, I swoop to the scene ready to rouse the guard to defence of the fortress! But there is only a corpse, confused I demand millitary reports. This is the only entry of the beasts battle.



Renamed Urist Dickpuncher, this child will be king.
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Repulsion

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2010, 06:42:14 pm »

Hot damn.
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Electrum, pedophilia, and necrophilia at the same time!?

melkorp

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2010, 06:57:13 pm »

The Dwarven Child.  Wasn't Eddie Murphy in that one?
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

dogstile

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2010, 06:58:19 pm »

Dick McCastrate seems more appropriate
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my champion is now holding his artifact crossbow by his upper left leg and still shooting with is just fine despite having no hands.
What? He's firing from the hip.

jh42

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2010, 07:07:11 pm »

Dick McCastrate seems more appropriate

You're doing it wrong..
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Intelligent Shade of Blue

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2010, 07:11:47 pm »

The mortal son of Armok! Build a shrine, posthaste, and let the slack-jawed peasants kneel before the hairiest of babes!
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[COLOR:PRUSSIAN_BLUE]
[NAME:ISoB]
[RGB:0:49:83]

Mortesphere

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2010, 07:14:14 pm »

Do everything for that child.

He is your god now.
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Primary

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2010, 07:21:22 pm »

*Kneels before Urist Dickpuncher*
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Dave Mongoose

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2010, 07:25:01 pm »

That is insane, but awesome ;D

Surviving over 1000 years, only to be punched in half by a child  :D
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Calhoun

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2010, 07:27:25 pm »

Do everything for that child.

He is your god now.

Seriously.
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I know it's unrealistic, but I can't help but imagine little bearded babies for dwarves. In my mind, they come out of the womb fully bearded. That's how the mother carries them around, too, she just drags them around by the beard or ties it to her belt. When the father's on duty, he just ties their beards together and the baby just kind of hangs there, swinging to and fro with Urist McDaddy's movements.

jh42

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2010, 07:30:18 pm »

Oh wow.

I just watched a squad of 6 goblin spearmen tear through my entire fortress. They killed every man, woman, and... well, almost every child.

They missed one.

He's currently unconscious in a hospital bed, wounded in an arm and a leg. He's thirsty, but the fortress is full of food (about 450 units) and drinks (about 70). And he's just.. stranded, alone, in a fortress covered in blood and filled with the rotten, stinking corpses of its former inhabitants.

The goblins, meanwhile, have wandered away. One of them blundered into my lava moat on the way out, which was pretty awesome. The remainder seem to have just up and left.

This child.. shall be king!

Edit: Never mind, he never woke up. A sad end.  :(
« Last Edit: April 07, 2010, 11:19:30 pm by jh42 »
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Thornet

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2010, 07:31:20 pm »

Where do you go to see this screen? I had a hunch it existed but never ran into it.
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jh42

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2010, 07:32:24 pm »

"R", for combat reports. :)
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kotekzot

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2010, 07:33:04 pm »

did you perchance designate a 1-tile meeting area? or does that no longer work in the new version?
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Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

Primary

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Re: A savior is born!
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2010, 07:34:44 pm »

Should we ask Toady to have one of these as an optional setting in worldgen? I'd love to read the legends to find the story of "The Child Urist McDickpunch": Urist McDickpunch was born in 600 in the Cloisters of Cheer. The Cloisters of Cheer were wiped out by demons in the year 602. Urist McDickpunch was found by adventurers in the year 603. He was surrounded by dead and dying demons. Upon seeing the adventurers, he smiled and said "Diiiiick", and then he passed out.
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