Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Lost Requiem]

Spring 319 at Zushtasharkoth


*8 Gobs ambush Urist McChopwood*

An ambush! Curse them!

Urist McChopwood: HOLY SHIT!

Urist McChopwood cancels fell tree: Interrupted by Goblin Lasher


Gob 1: DWAAAAAAARRRRRFFF!!!!

*Urist McChopwood runs back into the fortress, the Goblin ambush tailing him closely. The instant they enter the dark cavern, suddenly Gob 1 gets eviscerated and gibbed by a weapon trap filled with 10 green glass giant axes.*

Gob 2: What the hell was that?!

Gob 3: I have no idea. Tread carefully!

*Gobs 4 and 6 slowly step into the entrance as well, only to meet a similar fate.*

Gob 2: Uhhh... I don't think this is such a good idea. Maybe we should cut our losses and flee?

*Urist Mcgatherstuff suddenly appears in the entrance to gather the dropped equipment*

Gob 8: Good idea. Let's - *Sees the dwarf* DWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Urist Mcgatherstuff: SHIT!

Urist Mcgatherstuff cancels Store Item in stockpile: Interrupted by Goblin Swordsman

Gob 2: DWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRF!!!!

Gob 3: DWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!!!

The last 5 goblin ambushers run into the entrance and are all annihilated by the weapon traps.

[SkyRender]

Goblins are funny like that.  They're so oblivious to traps, even ones they've seen sprung.  I've caught 42 of the little idiots in cage traps all in a single year.

[Garrie]

Goblins are funny like that.  They're so oblivious to traps, even ones they've seen sprung.  I've caught 42 of the little idiots in cage traps all in a single year.

Yeah, but then what?
I've worked out, I need a drawbridge in my gobbo pit at z=-1, to hide the pitted gobbos from the dwarfs pitting the gobbos. That whole idea is just aggravating!

[Hyndis]

Anyone can catch a few goblins.

But can you catch them all?   



Can't have any goblinite escaping! Thats just no good.

[tylor]

Solution.
1. Teach gobbos to dig, instead of going through minefield. Even if it will be very slow, it will add a lot of FUN.
2. Teach gobbos to avoid any place wjere other gobbos where killed recently in like 20 cell radius.

And btw, gobbos are not really much stupider than dorfs.

[Demonic Spoon]

Yeah, but dwarves have a awesome overmind to help them out. 

[Lost Requiem]

wanna know how many gobs I've captured? About 60 since the fortress started, and right now, I'm in the middle of a siege, where the gobs keep getting caught in the cage traps I've lined the entrance with. They're too busy trying to kill the cats to realize what's going on. The Spearmaster and Elite Marksman were both captured, lowering their overall intelligence.

[Sensei]

You should build a device that drops them from several stories onto invaders. Not effective, but awesome.

[Lost Requiem]

Siege post-mortem. 80 gobs, 2 are Spearmasters and one is an Elite Marksman. Taking advantage of their simple minds is fun. You know what else is fun? An arena.

I'm making an arena where the 80 gobs will fight to the death against my entire armada. I'm training 22 dwarves through Masonry, Engraving, and Pump Operating to become military dwarves. I'll give them 2 more years to train as I build the first arena. My ultimate arena goal?

OLYMPUS!

[Aachen]

But can you catch them all?   

My DF is broken. I can't find any workshop task "Construct [material] Poké Ball." Whereisit?

[SkyRender]

But can you catch them all?   

My DF is broken. I can't find any workshop task "Construct [material] Poké Ball." Whereisit?

 They're called "cages", and you have to set them out as traps.  The general rule of thumb is: more is better.  If they send 50, you should have 100 cages ready to catch them.

[SquirrelWizard]

Gob#13: Hey boss? The stumpies holed up in their fortress again, only Stinky and Earl's squads got in.

Gob#14: Bah, we'll wait them out, they gotta come... mmmmmm... something smells good...

Gob#15: Hey Boss! They're opening up again!

Gob#14: watch it guys there is lava here! Tread carefully

*wham* (door shuts behind them)

Gob#13: So... where is Stinky and Earls squads?

Gob#15: I dunno, but I found Earls axe, sucks to be him!

*fwoosh*

[EliDupree]

I'm making an arena where the 80 gobs will fight to the death against my entire armada.

You have a naval fleet? Awesome!

(Historical note: The Colosseum could actually be flooded in order to host ship battles. It would be pretty sweet to replicate this in Dwarf Fortress. Especially with swimming-trained goblins and dwarves. And a system of pressure plates so that the ships can be sunk as part of the battle. )

[NW_Kohaku]

Goblins are funny like that.  They're so oblivious to traps, even ones they've seen sprung.  I've caught 42 of the little idiots in cage traps all in a single year.

Actually, what's really funny is that my dwarves are often too busy to carry away the caged goblins, but not too busy to reset the cage traps (higher priority)... I actually have stacks of 4 cages with goblins in them from all my recent seiges (still picking up all the corpse bits and goblinite and leftovers of last year's elf caravan and such) on several of my chokepoint cage traps. (That's before you even reach my enterance, because I have greenhouses taking up large amounts of space, and I just drop cage traps at the corners to catch animals that try to path around them.)

And those traps are about 4 tiles thick, so I literally have 29 goblins, 4 unicorns, 4 rhesus macacques, 2 groundhogs, a titan and a dragon sitting in cages just sitting there outside...

You'd think that even if a giant depot of caged creatures weren't warning enough, that SOME of those goblins might, you know, warn their friends? (or beg for someone to release them...)

[Aspgren]

In defence of the horribly retarded goblins.

One time they approached my fortress (which was partially above ground) and just stood outside and waited. It was a squad of mostly marksgoblins so of course I was cautious, I expected them to come within reach of my arrow towers and then to enter into a bottleneck of melee dwarves. But they didn't.

I'm not sure what their intention was but they stopped outside of my range. The other groups of the siege pushed on however towards another entrance which wasn't nearly as well guarded. I didn't -want- to fight the marksgoblins so most of my military sallied out and took care of their friends.

The goblins STILL didn't move. I had hoped they would realise they were the only group left and leg it. but they only decided to break the siege and flee once I accepted that they wouldn't come in and sent my military after them.

... I'm not saying they did a smart thing there. Just that at the time it seemed like they had an actual strategy for a while.

So .. well this was in their defence so uh ... sometimes they can almost be smart by accident. I guess that's something.