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[umiman]

I found this in one of my old, saved, unposted writings on my computer. I guess I stopped since I couldn't think of any more past 6. What do you guys think should go on the list for boring-ness?

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Boring Person Syndrome is an increasingly pervalent syndrome in our current society. The sad thing is, much like amnesia or personality disorders, the victim has no idea he is a sufferer until it's too late. There has been much progress in the field of BPS analysis in the recent years but though we still have no real idea what causes it or how to treat it, we do know what it does. It makes you a dull and boring forgettable. There are a lot of BPS sufferers here in these forums, so without pointing any fingers, here's some clues that you might just be that person who no one is ever interested in.

1. Political-correctness
We all know people who are like this. The kind of person who sticks up his nose at awesome jokes because they consider them to be "crude" or "insensitive" or even worse... politically incorrect. There's just no pleasing these kinds of people as they spend their days eating plain oatmeal, watching the weather channel on mute every day while getting into fits about how the weather reports are never 100% right.

2. Conspiracy theorist
There is no better way to alienate and bore off everyone you know and love by saying and believing these theories. You might think they're perfect arguments because no one has managed to defeat them yet, but really, it's only because no one could be arsed enough to have to go through such things on your behalf. So please, stop with these, no matter what you believe.

3. Quotations-at-every-opportunity
People have been hiding this trait better recently. In the past, they were easily identifiable and ignorable because of the unhinging desire to quote some famous person at every available opportunity. Nowadays it's discovered when your friends stumble across the blog you've been ardently following and been reciting like a recording machine.. You don't want to be the guy who's only opinions are those of other, more charismatic, people.

4. Mild injury excuse
"Hey, do you want to go skiing this weekend?"
"No, I've got to rest up this shoulder injury."
"Hey, want to go paintballing?"
"Shoulder injury."
"Why are you late for class?"
"Shoulder injury."

5. Know-it-all
When people can't tell if you're a war veteran or a 12-year old with a credit card, it's easy to pass yourself off as a chemistry major who somehow specializes not only in advanced biogenetics, but also the composition of music and the secret techniques of ninja assasination. While more seasoned veterans of the internet are able to identify and isolate such cases, newer members are easily fooled. In real life though, 10 minutes of fame is probably not worth it when a real chemistry professor questions you about your supposed "field" in front of the girls you've been entertaining, who happen to be ninja composers.

6. Obvious statements
Unless you're writing a tutorial, textbook, or a teacher of some sort, if you find yourself saying completely obvious statements in place of an actual opinion or attempting to start conversations in the following manner:

A is cleaning a table.
B: "Hey, are you cleaning a table?"

A: "I just made some pasta, but I think the sauce came out wrong."
C: "Oh yeah, did you put in the thickener?"
A: "Thickener? Like what?"
B: "Thickener is stuff that thickens your sauce."

Please stop it.

Edit:
Thanks Virex & Tack
7. Lack of substance
"So, you know, I was going to the mall and there were like, these shoes and they were like, too big and I couldn't wear them, so I didn't buy them and put them back on the shelf but I really wanted that pair so I asked the salesgirl like, and omigawd she had like the worst hat on evar, but anyway, I asked her if she had like, those shoes in my size and she said she'd checked and I was like, omigawd I hope they have it and she said like, they didn't, so I couldn't buy them but I said thanks anyway."

[Duke 2.0]

I'll have you know there is nothing insensitive about the conspiracy in the weather channel industry! They tell you the weather. But do they tell you the truth? Huh? Do they tell you the truth? I'm making a point on how the Weather Channel is a conspiracy theory to tell us the incorrect weather! I would go down there and tell them off, but some recent foot injuries have restricted me to the house. I should know, I am an expert in the field of foot injuries. I can't get out of the house. You know how they say

Foot injuries are serious business.

Yeah? Yeah!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

1. Political-correctness
We all know people who are like this. The kind of person who sticks up his nose at awesome jokes because they consider them to be "crude" or "insensitive" or even worse... politically incorrect. There's just no pleasing these kinds of people as they spend their days eating plain oatmeal, watching the weather channel on mute every day while getting into fits about how the weather reports are never 100% right.

To them I can say but one thing.
Why are womens' feet smaller?
So they can get closer to the cooker!

[Rashilul]

I'll have you know there is nothing insensitive about the conspiracy in the weather channel industry! They tell you the weather. But do they tell you the truth? Huh? Do they tell you the truth? I'm making a point on how the Weather Channel is a conspiracy theory to tell us the incorrect weather! I would go down there and tell them off, but some recent foot injuries have restricted me to the house. I should know, I am an expert in the field of foot injuries. I can't get out of the house. You know how they say

Foot injuries are serious business.

Yeah? Yeah!

I completely agree.

[Kagus]

I'm not sure all these apply to the dull...  2 and 5 are both often exhibited by highly interesting and entertaining individuals.  They certainly don't know they're as entertaining as they are, but that doesn't change the fact that it is quite often very exciting to see what they'll blurt out next.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Having read this, I truly dread being dull. That's going to niggle away in the back of my mind for months now.

[umiman]

I think I was referring to 9/11 conspiracy theorists and their ilk. There's only so much of them you can take . I haven't seen any faster way to kill a conversation than to go, "there's no way Osama planned that attack on WTC without the government knowing!"

I'm sure the totally nutso people can make it more entertaining, "not only did the government plan 9/11, but they made sure we'd all question it by adding sodium choride into our water systems!", but those nutso people are nutso and wouldn't be reading this.

[Rashilul]

1. Political-correctness
There's polite and then there's stupid. THEY WRECKED COMICS FOREVER.


2. Conspiracy theorist
Guaranteed to get some laughs behind his back and some RAEG in front of him.

3. Quotations-at-every-opportunity
Everyone hates these guys. Unless they're quoting something awesome.

4. Mild injury excuse
A perfectly viable excuse.

5. Know-it-all
Anyone who gets fooled by these guys completely deserves it.

6. Obvious statements
This is quite common in people umiman's age.

My views on the situation. They're all more rage-inducing than boring, though.

[Cthulhu]

1. Political-correctness
There's polite and then there's stupid. THEY WRECKED COMICS FOREVER.


2. Conspiracy theorist
Guaranteed to get some laughs behind his back and some RAEG in front of him.

3. Quotations-at-every-opportunity
Everyone hates these guys. Unless they're quoting something awesome.

4. Mild injury excuse
A perfectly viable excuse.

5. Know-it-all
Anyone who gets fooled by these guys completely deserves it.

6. Obvious statements
This is quite common in people umiman's age.

My views on the situation. They're all more rage-inducing than boring, though.

Quote-happy people are never a good thing, good quote or not.

[redacted123]

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[DJ]

Nah, they'd probably catch you when you make a "Let's commit terrorism" facebook group.

[Hawkfrost]

Nah, they'd probably catch you when you make a "Let's commit terrorism" facebook group.

That sounds pretty funny to do, actually.




I only possess a small degree of 5, because I have a habit of memorizing most things and thus I come off as an asshole sometimes.

[Rashilul]

I think I was referring to 9/11 conspiracy theorists and their ilk. There's only so much of them you can take . I haven't seen any faster way to kill a conversation than to go, "there's no way Osama planned that attack on WTC without the government knowing!"

I've never gotten why people assume terrorist activities are so obvious. I could, right now, start drawing up a plan and then go around to a few garden centres and buy some fertiliser from each, with cash, buying small enough amounts to appear innocent. I could then make a car bomb, drive it to a sensitive location and detonate it using a timer. The government would never pick up on it until I did it and probably never catch me.

Remember the football incident? FBI's knock knock knockin on your door.

[ToonyMan]

Boring people don't have forum avatars.  ZEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWW.
No, that was a joke.  Shush shush.

I can't stand boring people.  One of the kids in our shop is like Mr. Story-Teller.  He always has stories to share, and they're hilarious.  I couldn't say the stories without ruining them though.

[Aqizzar]

I think I was referring to 9/11 conspiracy theorists and their ilk. There's only so much of them you can take . I haven't seen any faster way to kill a conversation than to go, "there's no way Osama planned that attack on WTC without the government knowing!"

I've never gotten why people assume terrorist activities are so obvious. I could, right now, start drawing up a plan and then go around to a few garden centres and buy some fertiliser from each, with cash, buying small enough amounts to appear innocent. I could then make a car bomb, drive it to a sensitive location and detonate it using a timer. The government would never pick up on it until I did it and probably never catch me.

You're forgetting the part where people who think car bombs are an effective enough tool for social change to attempt such a plan are, by and large, egotistical nimrods who over complicate everything and couldn't keep a secret if they didn't have a tongue.  Just look at the dozen or so chuckleheads that got rounded up over the summer.  One guy practically blogged his plan's details and admiration for Al-Qaeda, another bought all his supplies in bulk from one store, another stumbled into the FBI trying to skoach C4 off street vendors, and the best was the guy who tried to email his way into Yemeni training camps while he was on bail for buying unlicensed guns (or something like that).

The reason that you don't see more quick and easy terrorism like you accurately describe is that you have to be an idiot to be a terrorist in the first place.