Dad kept telling me that I *had* to be out of money, and thus should rent his garage apartment which has sat empty for almost a year. Lots to be sad about there - the wasted home as he waited for "the right sort", the constant insulting, and his veiled fear of me being too far away as he gets old (which he expresses by "telling it like it is, AKA being extremely insulting).
Also I'm already a mere 20 minutes away, I've popped over several times. I'm also doing fine, considering, he just can't comprehend not buying expensive food and tech toys. I explained all this several times, so of course he gave me a deadline to "think it over".
So the day before the deadline I'm honestly milling it over. It's a crap deal for me, but maybe I'm worried enough about him to suck up my pride and do the good thing. When his partner calls me up and... gives the whole spiel. Now, she's great and I love her, but she treats conversations like a lecture. Gish-galloping to a T, moving from point to point in the same breath before you can even figure out a response, much less fit one in. I hate to speak over people but I was upset enough to do so, making her stop on certain points and actually discuss them. And I think it ended up being a good conversation, overall. I made a point of agreeing with the parts I honestly agreed with, and expressed my doubts about other parts. In the end I basically still said "no, thanks", but I considered it a fucking hour well spent.
Then got drunk, like I often do after I interact with my parents. Only for dad to slide into my Skype messages to talk about the times when "men did business with men".
He called me an unmanly. Like it was some insult. I was the bigger person and stopped responding, but... fuck, he's constantly bringing up gender stereotypes whenever I visit. Often about his partner, or women voters, or especially when I try to speak up for trans people... he usually stops before attacking my own identity (besides making light of my male-attraction an uncomfortable amount) but he gets mean when he doesn't get his way.
How much of all that am I just pretending to be okay with? How much of me is he just pretending to be okay with?
All I know is that it's a waste of my time and attempted sobriety to spend an hour saying "no" as politely as possible, only to get emotionally abused.
And gods, now I can't stop thinking about how scared he is. I want to help, but it's not that simple! I'd be right back to drinking myself to death.
This was all about two weeks ago. I drank a bit, bottled it up, and stopped thinking about it. Ignoring texts from his partner because I didn't want to see them. Until I was talking to my brother this morning about his own problems and suddenly this all welled up in a frantic rant, like emotional vomit.
Things seemed so much simpler when I drank all the time, but they weren't...
tldr; Dad misgendered me over a stupid money thing, and people wonder why the statistic is so high
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9790643 times)