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[martinuzz]

Dang, normally a bone that has been broken regrows stronger, unless you're old. You must have broken it not too long after initially breaking it, when it didn't have enough time to mend properly yet?

[ChairmanPoo]

[Kagus]

Nuh it dunnt

[Dunamisdeos]

No zey dont

[scourge728]

Fun fact: It actually IS possible for ribs to grow back, I don't remember HOW, but IIRC there is a way

[ChairmanPoo]

Fun fact: It actually IS possible for ribs to grow back, I don't remember HOW, but IIRC there is a way

Nuh it dunnt

[Ghills]

Thanks, everybody.

Yuks! That sucks enormously! May I ask which bone is it? Hope is not an important one.

What were you doing? Perhaps you should stop doing that?

I hope you get well soon. I haven't broken any of my bones but have cracked (fissure, don't know the proper word in english) two and both hurt like hell, don't quite imagine the complete fracture and how painful must be.

It's a foot bone.  I keep walking into things absentmindedly because I'm extremely clumsy, and sometimes I have enough momentum that a bone goes. This is why I'm naturally minimalist. Less furniture, less for me to walk into, fewer funky curly edges and I'm more likely to avoid it.

Fissures count as bone breaks too!  IME they hurt as much and take about as long to heal.

And sadly bones don't actually grow back stronger. They do often grow back a little bigger but only get to the strength of the original bone.

[misko27]

Medic told me ribs grow back, and why wouldn't I trust such a genius purveyor of health and death?

Anyway, my sad: I'm not doing very well socially (I'm doing ok online... I have friends I often play Fortnite with in the evenings, and my Polish penpal, but that's it). But in person I'm still struggling massively. I just can't seem to make friends very well, and even when I succeed, I end up losing them over time because I can't maintain them. And I'm painfully shy (more accurately: I'm basically scared of people) and moreover completely unwilling to appear shy, so doing new stuff is miserable. But I'm so lonely... My therapist suggested that I'm rather "intense" (whatever that means) and thoughtful and I should look for friends like that, but the issue is A:) When I actually get to know people I can be silly and light-hearted too, which makes me worry about turning them off, and B:) I'm much more comfortable around people who are very laidback, even though there are probably personality mismatches in the long run (that's probably what happened with my last (and only) girlfriend: we worked well superficially and our chemistry there was what got us together, but under the surface I'm... well, that word "intense" isn't a bad one, even if it does bring to mind images of goths writing brooding poetry, which I go pretty far out of my way to avoid doing or being). So I'm not comfortable making friends with thoughtful people and I can't maintain friendships with laidback, active people (not that I don't try both, it just hasn't worked out).

In practice, this just means I'm always alone. It doesn't help that I don't like going to events or doing... anything social at all. And I'm so worried about boundaries it's crippling: this semester, I live next to someone who has told me that I can come in whenever I want and chat (and they really do mean it; they're so open they walk around sometimes half-clothed, so they're quite obviously really comfortable). But unless I'm explicitly invited into a place I'm too scared to go in (and not "standing invitation" invited, but literally "Invited in the last few minutes" invited).

My therapist keeps saying that the way forward is baby-steps, but it just doesn't seem like anything is changing. I'm convinced that my ability to be superficially social makes it impossible to learn to actually be social.

[ChairmanPoo]

I stand corrected. Apparently ribs do have at least some regenerative capacity

https://books.google.ie/books?id=f_Epd5lHTNkC&pg=PA17&lpg=PA17&dq=rib+regeneration&source=bl&ots=1jmuft2QZt&sig=yA6NkntrJgK9TDe-oxNSLj9oSl0&hl=xx-pirate&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiy7qbJ7bzaAhUHJ8AKHREzC_44KBDoATAJegQIBBAB#v=onepage&q=rib%20regeneration&f=false

Scant data as to what extent it goes, at least from reliable sources.  The few articles that I've seen mention partial regeneration from remaining tissue,  I honestly doubt very much that if completely removed they can regenerate.

Pd: after further review I'm almost certain that what they are referring to is partial regeneration after fragment removal, in the context of scoliosis surgery.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3489251/

[Ghills]

Medic told me ribs grow back, and why wouldn't I trust such a genius purveyor of health and death?

Anyway, my sad: I'm not doing very well socially (I'm doing ok online... I have friends I often play Fortnite with in the evenings, and my Polish penpal, but that's it). But in person I'm still struggling massively. I just can't seem to make friends very well, and even when I succeed, I end up losing them over time because I can't maintain them. And I'm painfully shy (more accurately: I'm basically scared of people) and moreover completely unwilling to appear shy, so doing new stuff is miserable. But I'm so lonely... My therapist suggested that I'm rather "intense" (whatever that means) and thoughtful and I should look for friends like that, but the issue is A:) When I actually get to know people I can be silly and light-hearted too, which makes me worry about turning them off, and B:) I'm much more comfortable around people who are very laidback, even though there are probably personality mismatches in the long run (that's probably what happened with my last (and only) girlfriend: we worked well superficially and our chemistry there was what got us together, but under the surface I'm... well, that word "intense" isn't a bad one, even if it does bring to mind images of goths writing brooding poetry, which I go pretty far out of my way to avoid doing or being). So I'm not comfortable making friends with thoughtful people and I can't maintain friendships with laidback, active people (not that I don't try both, it just hasn't worked out).

In practice, this just means I'm always alone. It doesn't help that I don't like going to events or doing... anything social at all. And I'm so worried about boundaries it's crippling: this semester, I live next to someone who has told me that I can come in whenever I want and chat (and they really do mean it; they're so open they walk around sometimes half-clothed, so they're quite obviously really comfortable). But unless I'm explicitly invited into a place I'm too scared to go in (and not "standing invitation" invited, but literally "Invited in the last few minutes" invited).

My therapist keeps saying that the way forward is baby-steps, but it just doesn't seem like anything is changing. I'm convinced that my ability to be superficially social makes it impossible to learn to actually be social.

It sounds like the real problem here is anxiety - you're constantly cripplingly afraid.  If your therapist hasn't suggested anti-anxiety medications and started you on calming techniques or cognitive behavior therapy style tactics, they're doing you a real disservice.

[SalmonGod]

Medic told me ribs grow back, and why wouldn't I trust such a genius purveyor of health and death?

Anyway, my sad: I'm not doing very well socially (I'm doing ok online... I have friends I often play Fortnite with in the evenings, and my Polish penpal, but that's it). But in person I'm still struggling massively. I just can't seem to make friends very well, and even when I succeed, I end up losing them over time because I can't maintain them. And I'm painfully shy (more accurately: I'm basically scared of people) and moreover completely unwilling to appear shy, so doing new stuff is miserable. But I'm so lonely... My therapist suggested that I'm rather "intense" (whatever that means) and thoughtful and I should look for friends like that, but the issue is A:) When I actually get to know people I can be silly and light-hearted too, which makes me worry about turning them off, and B:) I'm much more comfortable around people who are very laidback, even though there are probably personality mismatches in the long run (that's probably what happened with my last (and only) girlfriend: we worked well superficially and our chemistry there was what got us together, but under the surface I'm... well, that word "intense" isn't a bad one, even if it does bring to mind images of goths writing brooding poetry, which I go pretty far out of my way to avoid doing or being). So I'm not comfortable making friends with thoughtful people and I can't maintain friendships with laidback, active people (not that I don't try both, it just hasn't worked out).

In practice, this just means I'm always alone. It doesn't help that I don't like going to events or doing... anything social at all. And I'm so worried about boundaries it's crippling: this semester, I live next to someone who has told me that I can come in whenever I want and chat (and they really do mean it; they're so open they walk around sometimes half-clothed, so they're quite obviously really comfortable). But unless I'm explicitly invited into a place I'm too scared to go in (and not "standing invitation" invited, but literally "Invited in the last few minutes" invited).

My therapist keeps saying that the way forward is baby-steps, but it just doesn't seem like anything is changing. I'm convinced that my ability to be superficially social makes it impossible to learn to actually be social.

It sounds like the real problem here is anxiety - you're constantly cripplingly afraid.  If your therapist hasn't suggested anti-anxiety medications and started you on calming techniques or cognitive behavior therapy style tactics, they're doing you a real disservice.

Before jumping to medication, here's a question.

How comfortable are you with the friends you have online and do things with?  How would you feel about meeting them in person?  Would it be different from having to get to know someone from scratch all face to face?

Depending on your answer, maybe you should try getting to know people online first who you are able to meet in person later.  Local interest groups or something might help you find people who are local that you can get to know online for a while and get comfortable with first, and then arrange a meet up in person.  If that works out, you can use that as a way to get more comfortable with being around people in person more generally, and that might lead into better meatspace interaction ability in the future.

[LordBaal]

Medication should be the last resort when dealing with this kind of issues.

[misko27]

It sounds like the real problem here is anxiety - you're constantly cripplingly afraid.

I've been diagnosed with GAD, so yes, I'd agree.

If your therapist hasn't suggested anti-anxiety medications and started you on calming techniques or cognitive behavior therapy style tactics, they're doing you a real disservice.

I'm on Lexapro currently, but that does little for my anxiety, and it's not intended to; it's primarily for depression (and it's hardly a silver bullet at that either, but anyway). I didn't respond to Wellbutrin, and I had a negative reaction to Prozac. I would discuss trying others, but I haven't really. I'm quite nervous when discussing medication with doctors.

How comfortable are you with the friends you have online and do things with?  How would you feel about meeting them in person?  Would it be different from having to get to know someone from scratch all face to face?

Hmm... I'd want to say that I'm more comfortable with people I know online, but I have a huge issue with... I don't know what to call it. I'd describe it as a problem where I can grow fairly comfortable in a certain circumstance, but find expanding beyond difficult. I'm even shy around people I know from here when I see them around the internet (i.e. not Bay12), despite the fact that there is zero reason for that. It's not an insurmountable problem on the internet, because there's no cost to "lurk moar", as the phrase goes, so I'm able to slowly get used to a place before I start involving myself... but there is a cost to doing that in real life.

I've recognized that having at least one friend is really valuable in terms of going to places and such; I'm far more comfortable in new places or around new people if someone I know is with me. This has led to the sort-of funny results when I was growing up where I'd be chaperoning my younger sister (who has Aspergers) around some event or activity or whatever, when in fact I'd probably be too shy to do a lot of those things myself if I were alone.

(Actually, there's a pretty funny dichotomy between my sister and I: she's very social and comfortable around others, but also very careless, socially unaware, and has gotten into trouble (and sometimes quite serious trouble) more times than I can count, while on the other hand I never got into trouble after I left middle school, but that was because I was (and am still, probably) hypersensitive to violating social norms of any kind.)

Depending on your answer, maybe you should try getting to know people online first who you are able to meet in person later.  Local interest groups or something might help you find people who are local that you can get to know online for a while and get comfortable with first, and then arrange a meet up in person.  If that works out, you can use that as a way to get more comfortable with being around people in person more generally, and that might lead into better meatspace interaction ability in the future.

This is still useful, thank you.

[SalmonGod]

I've recognized that having at least one friend is really valuable in terms of going to places and such; I'm far more comfortable in new places or around new people if someone I know is with me. This has led to the sort-of funny results when I was growing up where I'd be chaperoning my younger sister (who has Aspergers) around some event or activity or whatever, when in fact I'd probably be too shy to do a lot of those things myself if I were alone.

This is not abnormal.  More important for some people than others.  But still very normal.  Not anything to be self-conscious about.

I'd describe it as a problem where I can grow fairly comfortable in a certain circumstance, but find expanding beyond difficult. I'm even shy around people I know from here when I see them around the internet (i.e. not Bay12), despite the fact that there is zero reason for that. It's not an insurmountable problem on the internet, because there's no cost to "lurk moar", as the phrase goes, so I'm able to slowly get used to a place before I start involving myself... but there is a cost to doing that in real life.

This is also normal to an extent, although it shouldn't be crippling.  People change depending on social contexts.  So dialing yourself back a bit as you re-evaluate dynamics within the new context is normal, depending on how well you know the person.

I hope that's at least a little re-assuring.

Spoiler: Funny example I can't not share since it came to mind. (click to show/hide)

Ever watch The Tick cartoon from the 90's?  Remember Sewer Urchin, who was the biggest joke amongst the hero group?  Then there was an episode where they go into the sewer to fight some villain, and find Sewer Urchin is a total badass on this home turf.  Everyone is shocked and gets really shy as they figure out how they should interact with him in this new context, when before they walked all over him.

[martinuzz]

It sounds like the real problem here is anxiety - you're constantly cripplingly afraid.  If your therapist hasn't suggested anti-anxiety medications and started you on calming techniques or cognitive behavior therapy style tactics, they're doing you a real disservice.

Anti-anxiety meds are the last thing you want. Last resort only.
Calming techniques, cognitive behaviour therapy, mindfullness are all things that could possibly help though.