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[LordBaal]

Well.. To be hones no, the rock was not natural

[Helgoland]

This has been effectively a pretty shitty year. However, so far has been the best year of my life. My son was born.

[Eric Blank]

Im still fucking broke despite my job and cant work more hours because i dont have a car and have to share one with my parents whom i live with and they provide my health insurance which i will lose in three days so no more councilor visits gotta pay my student loans never got that degree anyways still single never have a positive interaction with women who dont already know me and arent interested and most of them are like 50 and my relatives and im just so fucking tired of being alive in general all i want to do is sleep until the apocalypse comes or something and maybe eat an entire family size pizza just because fuck it what does it matter if i do anything wrong when doing everything right doesnt get me anywhere either

[LordBaal]

Ok... It seems you primary stress source is money. You can't work more hours. What can you do to earn more? Try to find a better job. Try to cut expenses and save up money. Try to get a job that gives you insurance.

[BlackHeartKabal]

Why such a bad year?

[Telgin]

Found out last night that I accidentally locked one of my cats in a closet right before leaving to visit my family for Christmas.  He was in there for just over three full days.  In the dark, without food or water.  While I was off having fun.  For three days.

He seems to be okay now, to my surprise, but it's still difficult to convey how terrible I feel about it.

It doesn't help that my parents have recently had two cats die specifically from going a few days without eating or drinking.  The first developed liver failure from not eating, which can happen after a few days.  The second developed blood clots from not drinking enough over a few days.

I keep telling myself that he's fine and it was an accident, but it haunts me to know that if we'd been gone for maybe just one more day he probably wouldn't have survived.

[Dunamisdeos]

This has been effectively a pretty shitty year. However, so far has been the best year of my life. My son was born.

Congratulations!

[Yoink]

One of my close friends is a fucking weeb. Just watched him play some game called Persona for a significant amount of time, apparently of his own free will and without bleeding from the eyes at the sheer terribleness of it.    

[Rolan7]

Heyo, me too
Friends gonna weeb, live with it (:
...
We gonna weeb

[JoshuaFH]

One of my close friends is a fucking weeb. Just watched him play some game called Persona for a significant amount of time, apparently of his own free will and without bleeding from the eyes at the sheer terribleness of it.    

... Is this a legitimate sad Yoink? Sarcasm doesn't translate well over the internet.

[Gentlefish]

Persona

sheer terribleness of it.

Fite me

[JoshuaFH]

Spoiler: Stupidity (click to show/hide)

My unhelpful thought pattern of choice this time around was my fixation on this violent fantasy I keep having, wherein I just just beat the everliving shit out of a guy I knew a couple years ago, but I know that that guy is just a symbolic representation of everything I hate about the society that I feel is shameless and aloof, and that has emasculated me with no recourse. There is perhaps no legitimate foundation for it, but I'm afraid of making friends or developing a social circle at all, on the possibility that I'll become as intensely angry at them as I am in my fantasy. I can easily see it happening.

God, some part of me just wants to win a fistfight once in my life, I had a couple fights when I was a child in school, but I lost every one, and it's shameful that I have some sense of emasculation still lingering with me still. It's the stupidest idea to have, cause I know winning a fight wouldn't even make me any happier, in fact it would probably compound my misery many times over (never mind the potential legal repercussions) as I strive to be a rational and peaceful person, but a part of me still so staunchly believes that that rationality and pseudo-pacifism is just cowardice, used to run away from conflict as I have no faith in myself to win. I suppose it's just another symptom of my fatherlessness...

About CBT: I won't argue that me endlessly dissecting and ruminating on my thoughts perhaps isn't healthy, though I've been in a lot of counseling before and it's realistic that I've perhaps been getting CBT without my realizing it, as it's just a common therapy technique from the little I've researched on it. My shrinks have frequently wanted to place me on meds as well, and perhaps if I viewed my pessimistic attitude and behavior patterns as pathological, which I don't despite me often feeling I'm perhaps going to live a very short life because of them, I've refused to take any antidepressants despite the extremely heavy urging of one of my shrinks whom I respected.

That was besides the point, I just need to dump my thoughts down somewhere, or else I'll never get any sleep. I wish I could just be a stupid asshole, brainlessly enjoying life, rather than the idiot pseudo-intellectual that I am that doesn't want to live and yet is still tormented that time pushes him forward inexorably towards death.

[Helgoland]

A BDSM-inclined friend of mine once thought of something different when I was using the abbreviation for cognitive behavioral therapy. I cannot get the association out of my head.

[redwallzyl]

A BDSM-inclined friend of mine once thought of something different when I was using the abbreviation for cognitive behavioral therapy. I cannot get the association out of my head.

Well now everyone wants to know what it was. You can't leave us hanging like that!

[Yoink]

I believe it is also the name of a certain grindcore/pornogrind band.