Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Descan]

Because disregarding someones choice of pronouns is totally in a vacuum and has nothing whatsoever to do with how they otherwise treat you and your gender identity, right? Right? Sure.

[Rose]

Anyway, I think I'll just call everybody on here gurrrl.

[Tawa]

Well, on one hand, you guys are right that it's offensive to not call people by their chosen pronoun.

However, it's also a little overkill to go back and correct several people on a pronoun referring to somebody who isn't present and has a slightly unclear choice of pronoun.

[SalmonGod]

Team lead troubles... As I've mentioned, the team I'm working on lost a bunch of people, and now there is only one other person there besides me who has been there more than 5 months.  I'm promoted to team lead, and this other person almost immediately starts making things more difficult for me.  Now tonight, she requests that we set aside some time on Monday to talk about things and adds "make sure you have your armor on lol". 

Ugh... stupid drama.

[Rose]

Go to the meeting literally in a suit of armor.

[SalmonGod]

Go to the meeting literally in a suit of armor.

... I could actually do that.  Ride into work with my aerostitch suit, and just don't take it off.  Walk right in, pop up the visor on my helmet... "You wanted to talk?"

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Her grandmother is in the ICU
I'm praying that she'll be ok, she's such a nice lady.
I hope my Ex and her family are ok too

[penguinofhonor]

.

[Tawa]

However, it's also a little overkill to go back and correct several people on a pronoun referring to somebody who isn't present and has a slightly unclear choice of pronoun.

Even if it's someone who's not here, it seems like a pretty bad habit for people to get into. I'd be pretty off-put if I took a break from the forums came back to find people had reverted to using incorrect pronouns.

Fair point.

[AlleeCat]

Well, on one hand, you guys are right that it's offensive to not call people by their chosen pronoun.

However, it's also a little overkill to go back and correct several people on a pronoun referring to somebody who isn't present and has a slightly unclear choice of pronoun.

Vector has made it fairly clear that they wish to go by they/them, though? It's a matter of fucking respect, not semantics. I will never understand why people refuse to just admit they've offended someone, apologize, and move the fuck on. It's like it's some grave personal fucking insult that someone could possibly have taken offense to something you said. It's not the offended party's fault for getting offended.

*deep breath* I think I need to take a break from the thread again.

[Tiruin]

Knowing the behavior of the 'offender' in question, its more a matter of what they learned rather than malevolent intent.
That, and misunderstandings popped up when connecting analogies and meanings.

Hang on, isn't it the whole social justice movement that wants us to move past gender/sex/whatever? It sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it too.

Moving past the limitations and exclusivity the meaning inside these have, or how they are interpreted to be biased towards one side or the other. Not moving past the concept whatsoever == abolishing it in all entirety.
It's an innocuous concept--because these differences which spur the want to 'move past' something, usually pertain the notion of moving past the problems located within it, or within the interpretation of it.
The 'how' within here is the space for ambiguity and misunderstanding. By itself, one can pick how they identify themselves...and there's no wrong there. Because its a personal note (ie What they experience).
_{What matters is to provide grounds for holistic understanding without malice or triggering any harm, as well as communication with the person in question [instead of imposing], lest what one experienced equals the only idea of how they identify (which may at times be lacking).}

[Worldmaster27]

I went back and fixed my post, I didn't realize that Vector went by those pronouns. Although I do now recall them/maybe you? talking about that in the past. I'm sorry for doing that and I'll try to respect that in the future.

@discussion, I don't consider a person's pronouns constitutes "grammar". That doesn't make sense to me since you can be grammatically correct with any of those (he/she/they) pronouns. It's respect and I think it's seriously hateful to purposely ignore them.

[AlleeCat]

I went back and fixed my post, I didn't realize that Vector went by those pronouns. Although I do now recall them/maybe you? talking about that in the past. I'm sorry for doing that and I'll try to respect that in the future.

@discussion, I don't consider a person's pronouns constitutes "grammar". That doesn't make sense to me since you can be grammatically correct with any of those (he/she/they) pronouns. It's respect and I think it's seriously hateful to purposely ignore them.

Thank you. I wish more people would do the same as you.

[Rolan7]

Huh.  I remembered being part of a nice discussion with Vector and others about how great plural pronouns are.  They avoid emphasizing gender, which is almost always irrelevant online, and don't run the risk of misclassifying people.  I can't say I actually remembered that Vector prefers those pronouns personally though.  Kinda glad that I happened to get it right in the hug thread, mainly because I use plural pronouns by habit.

Though when such things are so important to people, I think it's just reasonable to put some sort of notice in the sig.  I like Vector and browse General Discussion a lot, and still didn't remember.  Otherwise innocent mistakes are going to get made.  (If you just want to be referred to as male or female, the profile option is plenty fine.)

[Orange Wizard]

I think I'm just going to keep on with structuring sentences to avoid the bloody things altogether.

words

So what you're saying is that people are inconsistent and individuals want different things?