I was forced to move out due to friction with my sister, who is the favorite. She quite obviously pushed for it to happen. She had a celebration with her friends the day it was decided, and moved into my room only two months later. It happened before I was really able to get my life on track, locked me into the job I had at the time, and subsequently the shitty career path I'm still stuck on and increasingly unlikely to ever escape. It robbed me of the support and flexibility I needed to focus on my studies and portfolio-building about two years before I graduated, which was the most crucial time. Yes, I'm quite bitter. I only just began acknowledging her presence again in the last year or so, about 8 years later.
For what it's worth, I can sympathize with that situation. My siblings and I were always close, but I started college at the worst part of my Mom's alcoholism, and the least stable part of her relationship with my Step Dad. I left, with no preparation or savings, after refusing to fight back on a night when my Step Dad attacked me. Honestly, their house had always been a really toxic environment, and I had been needing to leave it for a long time. Demands of living with a profoundly sick and psychologically-abusive parent, and violence vented toward me from my parent's partner notwithstanding... the bizarrely-absolute curfew and policy on forbidding computer and internet use at home unless it was in the living room during the day, was making fitting classes in with my job, and made my coursework and correspondence for my class impossible.
But, yeah... I left the house with no preparation that night, and was lucky enough to call and get a ride to escape my Step-Dad's pursuit (from the only friend who was in town that weekend). Apart from carefully coordinated trips to their home to get whatever things I could carry into boxes and bags, I didn't see them for years. I stayed for a semester at the efficiency apartment my Sister was storing her junk at while moving in with her boyfriend. I tried to avoid student loan debt, afford college out of pocket, make a living wage, and do full time coursework at the same time, but that was insane. The economy was terrible, I had no roommates or friends to stay with, and I was working under 2 decades of abuse and psychological damage that messed with me in ways I had no tools to handle. I spent about 5 years being my own therapist, finding and losing friends, and fighting to not have to give up my college plans, before bankruptcy decided for me.
I often think about how much different my life would probably be, had I had the support of a stable parent or a safe household while growing up or starting out on my own, instead of fleeing sick and destitute into adulthood. But all we can do is work with what we have, and every day do whatever we can to get closer to the life we want for ourselves.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9466884 times)