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[RedKing]

That's been a big impetus for me to not be a deranged psychopath to my kids. Beyond, y'know....the normal "don't torture children" notion that most some normal humans develop by the time they reach adulthood. I see the way some people act towards their children...not necessarily physically abusive but just incredibly emotionally destructive, berating them and demeaning them in public...all I can think is that the parent never grew up themselves, and they're just thrilled that they have someone weaker than them to beat up on to feel bigger.

The number of abusive parents of Bay12ers is ridiculous, even allowing for confirmation bias.

I think child abuse is pretty common in general.  Most people just don't talk about it much.   

There needs to be a crackdown.

*shrug* And how do you propose to do that? A lot of it is hidden, with complicity from the victims even. Hell, I went along with the "he fell out of bed" bullshit lie for two years, until the night I ended up with two black eyes, a broken nose and pneumonia shortly thereafter. Kind of hard to blame that on the floor.

There's also still some unease over telling parents how they can and cannot discipline their children. A big part of the reason it was treated so lightly in my case (early 1980's) was that prosecuting for child abuse was seen by more than a few people as an attack on the family -- it reduced the father's control of his household. A father who couldn't take his kid out behind the woodshed with a thick leather belt or a birch wand, was seen a recipe for teen delinquency.

30 years later, and we ain't changed all that much. You still hear plenty of people saying that the problem with schools these days is that teachers aren't allowed to paddle, and defending it with "Well, when I was a kid my dad would whoop my hide good if I did something bad, and that's why I turned out fine." I love to counter that with, "Well, when I was a kid my stepfather broke my nose for being able to read at age 4, and stabbed me for not eating undercooked liver. What's your point?"


EDIT:
@Bohandas: Oh, and that last part is going to go over like gangbusters with the folks already most opposed to taking child abuse seriously. "Inform on their parents? What is this, East Germany??!? Sounds like another libruhl commie attack on good old-fashioned American values"

[TheDarkStar]

* Sirus hugs his parents for not being deranged psychopaths

Seconded (but hugging my own parents instead because hugging Sirus's parents would be weird).

[Worldmaster27]

loneliness and general sadness sucks

i feel like crying


@horrible!parents: sympathies and hugs to all of you who have/had to deal with that.

Ninja'd: 

[nenjin]

Wow Redking. Being this is the internet and all, I have to qualify it. But you seemed to have turned out pretty intact despite all that.

My dad wasn't much for child abuse as a kid. But he did love the paddle and belt, which is its own sanctioned form of a abuse. It wasn't until I became an adult he actually hit me.

[Bohandas]

That's been a big impetus for me to not be a deranged psychopath to my kids. Beyond, y'know....the normal "don't torture children" notion that most some normal humans develop by the time they reach adulthood. I see the way some people act towards their children...not necessarily physically abusive but just incredibly emotionally destructive, berating them and demeaning them in public...all I can think is that the parent never grew up themselves, and they're just thrilled that they have someone weaker than them to beat up on to feel bigger.

The number of abusive parents of Bay12ers is ridiculous, even allowing for confirmation bias.

I think child abuse is pretty common in general.  Most people just don't talk about it much.   

There needs to be a crackdown.

*shrug* And how do you propose to do that? A lot of it is hidden, with complicity from the victims even. Hell, I went along with the "he fell out of bed" bullshit lie for two years, until the night I ended up with two black eyes, a broken nose and pneumonia shortly thereafter. Kind of hard to blame that on the floor.

There's also still some unease over telling parents how they can and cannot discipline their children. A big part of the reason it was treated so lightly in my case (early 1980's) was that prosecuting for child abuse was seen by more than a few people as an attack on the family -- it reduced the father's control of his household. A father who couldn't take his kid out behind the woodshed with a thick leather belt or a birch wand, was seen a recipe for teen delinquency.

30 years later, and we ain't changed all that much. You still hear plenty of people saying that the problem with schools these days is that teachers aren't allowed to paddle, and defending it with "Well, when I was a kid my dad would whoop my hide good if I did something bad, and that's why I turned out fine." I love to counter that with, "Well, when I was a kid my stepfather broke my nose for being able to read at age 4, and stabbed me for not eating undercooked liver. What's your point?"

This is precisely why there needs to be a crackdown. To break the cycle of bullshit and authority.

[RedKing]

I say we group-hug Sirus' parents. ALL OF US.

Spoiler: Later. (click to show/hide)

AREA COUPLE KILLED IN NECKBEARD STAMPEDE

@nenjin: Thanks. It took a decade or two. Had a lot of rage issues for many years. Like, blinding, screaming-through-clenched-teeth, literally seeing red and blacking out rage in my teenage years. Really kinda baffled that I didn't wind up in an institution during that period.

My half-brother didn't fare too much better, though he had two things going for him:
1. He was actually biological offspring.
2. The guy was already on the physical decline by then.

One thing going against him:
1. I was removed from that situation after two years. He lived it from birth till the guy died when my bro was about 18.

I found out recently that when my half-brother was about 12 (he's several years younger than me), his dad was beating on our mom and something in him finally snapped and he intervened. His dad tried to charge him in the kitchen, he sidestepped and his dad went flying out through the screen door, down a flight of steps and headfirst into a trashcan, rendering him unconscious. My half-brother actually thought at first that he had accidentally killed him.

The cops had been called, but when they showed up and found a drunk guy knocked out cold by his 12-year old son, they laughed and left. Apparently, he never lifted a finger against either of them after that. Still nasty and verbally abusive, but the beatings stopped. (Plus, he shortly thereafter developed Parkinson's and got really feeble.)

[hops]

The number of abusive parents of Bay12ers is ridiculous, even allowing for confirmation bias.

[TIRUIN INCOMING]

[nenjin]

Oh, stepchild. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I took enough anthropology classes in college to know what usually happens to non-biological offspring. Saw it happen enough in my own life too, through both my mom and dad's sides of the family. I got to be the step-child in one, saw another be a step-child in the other. Both ended in rage and violence pretty much.

[Bohandas]

EDIT:
@Bohandas: Oh, and that last part is going to go over like gangbusters with the folks already most opposed to taking child abuse seriously. "Inform on their parents? What is this, East Germany??!? Sounds like another libruhl commie attack on good old-fashioned American values"

A lot of them are the criminals doing it, or who have done it in the past (speaking of which, we need to remove the statute of limitations on it too). We'll see what political influence they have when they're locked up in some horrible prison.

[Bohandas]

...his dad was beating on our mom...

That reminds me. There also needs to be a program to provide either guns and/or martial arts lessons to battered women. I am not joking.

[Graknorke]

Oh, stepchild. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I took enough anthropology classes in college to know what usually happens to non-biological offspring. Saw it happen enough in my own life too, through both my mom and dad's sides of the family. I got to be the step-child in one, saw another be a step-child in the other. Both ended in rage and violence pretty much.

Uh... I'm fine despite having had 2 step-parents.
It not fair to say that it directly causes people to be dicks just because they're not related.

[RedKing]

Oh, stepchild. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I took enough anthropology classes in college to know what usually happens to non-biological offspring. Saw it happen enough in my own life too, through both my mom and dad's sides of the family. I got to be the step-child in one, saw another be a step-child in the other. Both ended in rage and violence pretty much.

Uh... I'm fine despite having had 2 step-parents.
It not fair to say that it directly causes people to be dicks just because they're not related.

I wouldn't say it causes it, but it probably does make it psychologically easier. Hell, there's a reason behind the saying "beaten like a red-headed stepchild".

I hope to be a step-parent someday to my signficant other's two amazing offspring, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be a dick to them.

[nenjin]

Oh, stepchild. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I took enough anthropology classes in college to know what usually happens to non-biological offspring. Saw it happen enough in my own life too, through both my mom and dad's sides of the family. I got to be the step-child in one, saw another be a step-child in the other. Both ended in rage and violence pretty much.

Uh... I'm fine despite having had 2 step-parents.
It not fair to say that it directly causes people to be dicks just because they're not related.

There are plenty of biological and evolutionary reasons why it happens. Whether or not people give in to them is on the person. But generally being ill-disposed to family member who also doesn't share your blood is a recipe for intense conflict when/if it happens.

[Dutchling]

Just found out ho the professor is of the course I'm following next.

The guy absolutely sucks at teaching :/

He's also his own superior for some reason.

[Bauglir]

He's also his own superior for some reason.

I need this explained. I won't be able to think straight until this gets worked out.