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[Max White]

What did you do?

[SalmonGod]

My parents have decided to change the password on the router and cut off my ADSL line
Its a punishment that will last for an indefinate period of time.

My phone will also have its subscription cancelled. That means that when this month ends i will have no access to the internet.

I have decided to give up my fight for keeping my only hobby and contact to the outside world, my only virtue and the only thing that keeps me from killing myself.
I cant fight any more. I dont want to.

Theu say its no punishment and only to shake off my socalled addiction and to earn some respect to my parents. But all they do is hurt me and make me lonely.

Egads.  I can relate to this.  I've always had a good relationship with my parents, but the internet is one thing we clashed heavily on for a couple years.

I get that they're not the most understanding, but have you explained to them how lonely you are?  That the internet alleviates your loneliness, and that this is extremely important to your health?  I never explained this to my parents directly until many years later, and a lot of fighting probably could have been avoided if I had.  They thought I was just being irresponsible.  They didn't understand that I really valued the people I met online, and considered them the first real friends I'd had in about 7 years.

[DrPoo]

My parents have decided to change the password on the router and cut off my ADSL line
Its a punishment that will last for an indefinate period of time.

My phone will also have its subscription cancelled. That means that when this month ends i will have no access to the internet.

I have decided to give up my fight for keeping my only hobby and contact to the outside world, my only virtue and the only thing that keeps me from killing myself.
I cant fight any more. I dont want to.

Theu say its no punishment and only to shake off my socalled addiction and to earn some respect to my parents. But all they do is hurt me and make me lonely.

Egads.  I can relate to this.  I've always had a good relationship with my parents, but the internet is one thing we clashed heavily on for a couple years.

I get that they're not the most understanding, but have you explained to them how lonely you are?  That the internet alleviates your loneliness, and that this is extremely important to your health?  I never explained this to my parents directly until many years later, and a lot of fighting probably could have been avoided if I had.  They thought I was just being irresponsible.  They didn't understand that I really valued the people I met online, and considered them the first real friends I'd had in about 7 years.

I explained them directly. They persist. They believe computers are harmful to my health and they dont understand the consequences.

In retalitation i have decided to starve myself to death and ignore their orders.

All i did was sit on irc talking with you guys.

Its fucking stupid and even if its not a punishment they cant treat me like that. I mean come on its my computer and they dont even pay for our internet.

[lordcooper]

Or you could go outside for a bit.  C'mon, there's more to life than computers.

[DrPoo]

Or you could go outside for a bit.  C'mon, there's more to life than computers.

Except that everyone outside my house hates me.
That was very insensitive. But you shouldnt really care because in a few days im gone for good.

[SalmonGod]

Or you could go outside for a bit.  C'mon, there's more to life than computers.

Making quite the leap of judgment there.

[Vector]

That was very insensitive. But you shouldnt really care because in a few days im gone for good.

*throws up hands*

All right, bed time for Vector.  Got no more fucks to give for all the gory sorrows of the world.

[Max White]

Bed time? I thought you lived in the Untied Stakes of Amsterdam?
Shouldn't it be day time there?

[Vector]

It's 4:20 in the morning in California.  What, you think I can sleep?  I keep hearing trains.

[Max White]

It is about 10 pm here in Austria. I would sleep, but my insomnia has been getting progressively worse, and I know this feeling. Won't be a good night.
In the words of Adam Young, I'm too tired to fall asleep.

[SalmonGod]

I explained them directly. They persist. They believe computers are harmful to my health and they dont understand the consequences.

In retalitation i have decided to starve myself to death and ignore their orders.

All i did was sit on irc talking with you guys.

Its fucking stupid and even if its not a punishment they cant treat me like that. I mean come on its my computer and they dont even pay for our internet.

I don't know you very well, so all I can say is this.

You're not going to be stuck with your parents forever.  No matter how much this situation sucks, it's temporary.  If you destroy yourself, you're throwing away a lot of better years.  I won't make some stupid promise to you that your adult life is going to be wonderful, but you will eventually have more control over your own life and it will be better.

Don't let the gravity of the present steal your perspective away from you.

[lordcooper]

Or you could go outside for a bit.  C'mon, there's more to life than computers.

Except that everyone outside my house hates me.
That was very insensitive. But you shouldnt really care because in a few days im gone for good.

Everyone on this forum is a real person who lives outside your house.

[Glowcat]

4:20 in California? But the clock now says 4:06 AM.

Oh wait, Vector must be a time traveler. It all makes sense now. As much sense as anything 4 in the morning makes anyhow.

[Max White]

Everyone on this forum is a real person who lives outside your house.

Well... Not exactly.


^{I watch you sleep DrPoo.}

[Vector]

4:20 in California? But the clock now says 4:06 AM.

Oh wait, Vector must be a time traveler. It all makes sense now. As much sense as anything 4 in the morning makes anyhow.

My computer was bought defective and the clock is constantly mildly fucked up.

It is about 10 pm here in Austria. I would sleep, but my insomnia has been getting progressively worse, and I know this feeling. Won't be a good night.
In the words of Adam Young, I'm too tired to fall asleep.

Yeah.  I wish I could do something, but my friends who were going to go play laser tag with this guy just don't seem to care that he's, you know, train'd.  They apparently didn't have enough relationship to actually care, and I had even less relationship so I'd feel like a dick telling my IRL friends "hey, someone I spent all day every day with in class for two years decided it was time to kick off this mortal coil."

Why don't they care?  I don't really understand.  This is nasty young-person-of-my-near-acquaintance death no. 5 for me, and I still manage to care.  Heck. . . this is suicide #5 at that spot so far this year.  Last year there were 12.  Young people.  That's the way things work in this town.  Young people kill themselves at the tracks.

The other small-friends forum I post at: my friend whose cat died was (rightfully) given reams of attention, but no one seems to care when my friends and relatives die.  Including my former best friend.  How can human beings abandon each other so fully?  Did I do something wrong?  That's a question I keep asking myself.

I don't know what to say, really.  I feel like my brain is unraveling a little, and I keep talking because I just want someone to realize that this actually matters.