I'll never understand why so many of you guys insist on being heart-achingly lonely. All of you, gather 'round, it's pep talk time.
Look. There are 6+billion people in this world. People relatively close to you are fewer than that, sure, but you have an advantage with those people: language. You can talk to them. You can ask them questions. You can find out stuff about them. If you find out that you like them, you can tell them. If you do tell them, the very worst that can happen is that they say "no, thanks" and you move on to the next person. Seriously, that's the very worst. You don't have to be crushed, or bitter, or whatever, so long at you make a legitimate attempt.
The biggest obstacle to loneliness is realizing that people can't fucking read your mind. If someone shows interest in you, and you're interested in them, all you have to do is get some way for them to figure it out. Tell them. Not ballsy enough? Write a letter/email/whathaveyou. Not your style? Serenade them. Try to start a rumor chain. Do interpretive dance. Fucking do something to let them know. You don't even have to gusto up to do it. Usually social clues will let a person know, even if you don't know you're giving them off.
The easiest way to do this, though, is usually just walking up to someone and asking, "Hey, you wanna go get something to eat sometime?" Seriously. Try it.
+1 to this. I realize I'm being hypocritical here, because I was totally Mr. Cripplingly Shy Guy in my teens and early 20's. But I'm trying to save you what it took me 15-20 years to learn: it really doesn't hurt that bad to get turned down. I have not only been stood up on dates, I went with a bro on a double-blind date one time and the females ended up breaking the speed limit and endangering life and limb in order to lose us. Which was kinda harsh but at the same time fucking hilarious.
You'll get a lot of chances, but you may not necessarily get a lot of *good* chances. So if one comes along....carpe diem.
I realize I've never mentioned the other reason over in this forum. You see, I'm stuck in a love triangle with my bestfriend and that girl. I feel compelled not to do anything at all because that might sour my relationship with my bestfriend. We both know we have/had feelings for the girl, but I don't want to steal the girl from him, so to speak, as I believe she isn't interested in him, but rather in me. And I'm (reluctantly) rooting for them, mainly because I have a bunch of personal (usually self-esteem/confidence) issues I want dealt with before I start doing anything.
But time is ticking. I really have to move. Might have to use Facebook chat to convey the message, although I fear it might be premature. Dx
The guy is taking so long. The girl might be losing interest in me. I have to do something. I must.
But how? I lack the confidence to approach her, let alone ask her out on lunch or something like that. I don't even send her text messages. I feel I might be out of character if I suddenly started doing that, and part of me is believing that I'll be losing whatever charm I had if I did.
But no matter. Better to do something than nothing at all. It's just that fear is almost insurmountable, and if I did build up enough courage, fate would go as far as to interrupt my moment of doing something and reduce my courage to ashes in the passing hours. D:
TL;DR, it's not fear of rejection. It's fear of losing a friend.
Don't mind if the girl tells me she'll think about it and throw her statement in limbo. But I do mind if it does yank a chain into motion, one that will sour a relationship between me and my bestfriend (which will most likely involve other people too, the part which I fear the most).
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9753564 times)