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[Vector]

I dunno, seems pretty reasonable to me.  Then again, I'm convinced that I'm a petty and jealous person, so maybe I'm not a good marker.

I think it's maybe because she wants to both carry the "mainstream, materialist popular girl" and "out of place total misfit" monikers.  Kind of like all those people in my German class who dress and act so normally, but identified themselves as "zany..."

*sigh*

I wouldn't even call myself "weird."  They're the weird ones >________________>

Or maybe it's just all those things she did to me, which I keep on trying to convince myself I'm okay with but actually still trouble me rather a lot.  Just gotta keep movin', I guess.  No big deal.

[Rose]

...better at fulfilling a gender role...

You're bothered by this? really? I thought I knew you better than that.

[Mindmaker]

...better at fulfilling a gender role...

You're bothered by this? really? I thought I knew you better than that.

Well there have been times (and even a thread) where this was an issue.
*shrug*
Everybody is afflicted by doubts, but in the end we simply move on.

[Vector]

You're bothered by this? really? I thought I knew you better than that.

You grow up with another girl, and you're both ugly ducklings in a certain way... she's too fat, you're too thin, and you kind of tease each other in a brotherly way, get in fistfights, whatever.  You're similar enough that you get mistaken for each other, or at least she gets mistaken for you once in a while and you both snigger.  You've got pretty much the same interests.  Close enough, anyhow.  Neither of you have ever understood dressing up or really looking pretty, and that's comfortable, because at least there's someone else.  You can laugh together about being bad at cooking, sewing, romanticism, everything that you're "supposed" to know.  You can joke about how your ankles or her right forearm are your best features.  She laughs at your calculating nature and you poke fun at her airheadedness.  You are equals.

You grow up and it turns out that you're the one who still practices swordfighting and eschews makeup, is terrible at cooking and can't sew or knit for beans, is tentative about and frightened of kisses, dresses like someone stereotypically would in Soviet Russia.  You're still living "outside the world."  Your right thigh is covered in chalk stains and you still run into furniture and stutter... you've still never worn jeans or high heels, and you continue to evade calls for cut hair or pierced ears.  You still believe in a sort of chivalric code.  A pessimistic idealist, obsessed with order and understanding.  You don't have your cell phone number memorized.  You don't own an MP3 player--nearly ubiquitous at all ages in your own home town.

She does none of these things, of course.  She is contemptuous of them, now.

And now she's on Their side, and she's making fun of you the way she used to when you were the same.  But you aren't on the same side anymore; things are imbalanced.  She makes fun of you for the same old things but she's no longer making fun of herself, a girl who is now polished up and lauds herself for it.


So that's why it matters.  It's a case of her, not a thing that simply annoys me because it exists.

[Willfor]

Note to self: Do not read this thread while playing In the Arms of an Angel in the background. Just. Don't.

[Karnewarrior]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiWjZ0O2wKI&feature=related

[MaximumZero]

I suck at golf. I lost more balls today than any man should possibly be able to.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Bleh, feel really sick for some reason

[Vector]

It has come to my attention that for the last three weeks, I have basically done nothing but attend German class and putz around on B12.

Since it takes 21 days to develop a new habit, I figure I'll also be gone for about three weeks to get my life in gear.  I also have to think about a lot of things.  So... I'll see everyone soon, I guess.  I'm not saying that I'll be completely gone, as I have Mafia games that I'm in the middle of and an enormous number of PMs to respond to (which I will absolutely take care of, because some of them are from as far back as April =/), but I don't think I'll be posting here.

See everyone soon!

[Fenrir]

I wish you more luck than I had, Vector. This place is far too addicting; it should be an illegal substance.

[Willfor]

I wish you more luck than I had, Vector. This place is far too addicting; it should be an illegal substance.

You were gone longer than three weeks, man.

[Fenrir]

You are right. At least, it was rough breaking the habit, as, if you recall, I did not leave smoothly, and here I am wasting time in this place again.

[Jopax]

I wake up in five hours to check some stuff for my driving exams and i can't sleep, can't stay in bed trying to sleep either since my mind tends to go to the craziest and darkest places possible, so i guess i'll be pulling an all nigher despite my headache, it's been a while since i saw you sunrise.

[ein]

I kinda passed out for awhile.
That wasn't really bad, but when I woke up, it was around 20.
And the motherfucking sun was still up.
Blarg.
I hate summer and I hate Texas.

[ToonyMan]

You're bothered by this? really? I thought I knew you better than that.

You grow up with another girl, and you're both ugly ducklings in a certain way... she's too fat, you're too thin, and you kind of tease each other in a brotherly way, get in fistfights, whatever.  You're similar enough that you get mistaken for each other, or at least she gets mistaken for you once in a while and you both snigger.  You've got pretty much the same interests.  Close enough, anyhow.  Neither of you have ever understood dressing up or really looking pretty, and that's comfortable, because at least there's someone else.  You can laugh together about being bad at cooking, sewing, romanticism, everything that you're "supposed" to know.  You can joke about how your ankles or her right forearm are your best features.  She laughs at your calculating nature and you poke fun at her airheadedness.  You are equals.
You grow up and it turns out that you're the one who still practices swordfighting and eschews makeup, is terrible at cooking and can't sew or knit for beans, is tentative about and frightened of kisses, dresses like someone stereotypically would in Soviet Russia.  You're still living "outside the world."  Your right thigh is covered in chalk stains and you still run into furniture and stutter... you've still never worn jeans or high heels, and you continue to evade calls for cut hair or pierced ears.  You still believe in a sort of chivalric code.  A pessimistic idealist, obsessed with order and understanding.  You don't have your cell phone number memorized.  You don't own an MP3 player--nearly ubiquitous at all ages in your own home town.
She does none of these things, of course.  She is contemptuous of them, now.
And now she's on Their side, and she's making fun of you the way she used to when you were the same.  But you aren't on the same side anymore; things are imbalanced.  She makes fun of you for the same old things but she's no longer making fun of herself, a girl who is now polished up and lauds herself for it.
So that's why it matters.  It's a case of her, not a thing that simply annoys me because it exists.

When I was younger I had a pretty typical obsession with "things" and in my case it was statistics and facts.  I always loved learning about new animals or islands and reading everything about them.  I would look through photos NASA took with their satellites or look up microorganisms and really got into astronomy and biology.  Enough to even buy a few microscopes and telescopes, and not the cheap kind either eh heh heh.  Of course, back then this would be around 7th or 8th grade, when I was deemed fit for public schools and brought back to them again.
I learned in public schools that nobody cared for my interests and I felt very isolated.  At first I was motivated enough to try to talk to people but I don't think I ever said the right things because nothing happened.  I really did feel like everybody was on one side and I was on the other, not "getting it".  I thought that nobody liked me and started developing a superiority complex judging other students very harshly and in the progress I just did my own work with every effort I had.  It was a very negative motivation and I understand that now.  I always felt people were a lot more worthless since I never got the time to know or understand them.  There's always nice people out there.
In High School I finally started to understand.  In 9th and 10th grade I was still acting like my immature self, bashing others and living lonely and sadly.  I started to understand though that I couldn't keep living my life like this.  I had to be able to understand other people or I would never be happy myself.  Hatred doesn't make you happy, there's a sick satisfaction sometimes but it'll never make you happy about your life.  What I needed to do was not mind what people thought of me and figure out their interests.  Otherwise no progress will be made, you really are just killing yourself there with your thoughts.  It's almost like trying to get a girl you can say.  You thought-inspect yourself way too harshly.  Even today I can use an example.  I thought my brother would make fun of me for playing this game I had on the computer (Umineko Action!) because it was strange and animu however my brother thought it was neat and would want to play it himself later!  I even mentioned Shogi to him and explained the rules and he said he wouldn't mind getting a board and playing.  You just have to take action and speak, otherwise you're going to just circle yourself with horrible thoughts.  If you really don't want to do it then just don't do it.  Whatever makes you happy man.
Anyway, I think I completely missed the point of what I was saying and just said the same gurgled garbage again, but whatever.  I know now that the only way I'll be able to live in this world is if I'm strong enough to be happy.  I can see why elder are recognized in social status so much, they've toughened through hell of a lot.  I mean I don't even have a bad life at all I'm just a moody teenager ready for college.  One thing I do know is that I'm the one that decides if I'm happy or not, nobody else can control that shit.