Eh, called my mom up and bawled again. I'm beginning to see a pattern here... but I've been in a pretty weepy mood all day, so I guess it doesn't surprise me. I feel a lot better. I'll probably turn in one of my problem sets half-done and take my main Hard Math Course P/NP, because there is no fucking way I am going to pass that class (at this point, definitely better to just retake it later and deal with the massive body shots to the self-esteem), but I'm looking forward to
a. having more time to
b. work the ass off building the elusive mathematical maturity.
Seriously, I'm reading more, I'm eating better (and regularly, which is crazy because this is probably the first time in four years or more), drinking more, exercising more (not much, but more), and my mom was downright happily shocked that I went in for "flagstone therapy" (read: found a church and spent about half an hour kneeling and thinking about humility, wishing my enemies well, etc.--she's not into doctrine AT ALL, but she is into prayer and reflection).
I don't think I'm actually sick-sick, but in that one horrible course I'm now so incredibly behind that I'm never going to catch up. Like... I would try, but it actually just isn't going to happen. I've got a midterm in two weeks and I've gotten 0's on three problem sets, largely due to lingering depression that is just finally starting to clear off and turn into genuine motivated spirit. I'm not passing that course.
And on the other hand, if I change the grading option for that class and thus don't have to fret over it anymore, I'll be on-target or ahead in all of my classes as of tomorrow, and I'll be able to spend the weekend studying abstract algebra :B
Dunno. I feel like an ass, but fucking up the beginning of this semester could easily turn into the best thing that's ever happened to me.