DnD was flipping awesome.
So the setting is apparently all about this plane that is engaged in an eternal war between a god of summer and a god of winter. One half is in constant summer, mostly consisting of a vast desert, and the other half is locked in eternal winter, mostly consisting of a vast frozen tundra. The story starts in the desert part of the world in one of it's cities.
Anyway, this city is a sort of city of knowledge, with a vast library and university, and there's a professor at this place that's basically an Indiana Jones expie, with a fedora and whip and everything., he also happens to be a true namer with crazy amounts of knowledge stuff.
Anyway, he finds out about this "vault of names" from delving into various texts, and after appealing to the board to try and get some funding for an expedition, decides to try to hire some people to help him get to the undoubtedly dangerous vault and get the potential knowledge and artifacts within.
He posts up some fliers and these are the various people that respond.
The first is a psionic swarm of anthropomorphic crows with a hive mind on a quest of virtue... No seriously, they're under a vow of poverty and everything.
The second is... I forget exactly, but I think it was some kind of special druid child with a wolf.
The third was a axe wielding samurai yogi...
Then there was me, Lonnie. Lonnie doesn't have a last name, this started as a joke that was just something I came up with on account of most everyone else having an extravagent first and last name, then this became kind of a driving force, Lonnie is a cleric with domains in Luck and Travel, and wants to find out what his last name is.
Now it should be mentioned what Lonnie's stats are. He has exceptional wisdom and charisma being 19 and 18 respectively, these two stats got +2 on account of being an Assamar (a part angel), in fact everyone except Indie and the flock of crows were Assamar... The DM was allowing it on account of this being a party with crazy builds. I mean there was a flock of crows and a pretty insane true namer in the party. But anyway, Lonnie's got pretty good stats, except for intelligence which is 6... I decided to roleplay this as Lonnie having a very childlike personality, and constantly, just not, understanding certain things. Like why doesn't everyone else just cast endure elements on themselves when crossing the desert?
Anyway. So Indie is trying to shoo these crazy talking crows away from his windowsill, and the crows are trying to persuade him to take them with him because they're convinced it would help them on their quest for virtue... somehow, he seemed like an interesting person and they were convinced that Indie would be the one to go to. Indie is actually always on the lookout for new opportunities to study things, especially novel things, and Indie figures that a bunch of talking crows with a hive mind is actually a pretty novel thing, and agrees to let them tag along. Then the kid with the wolf shows up, and he has reservations about hiring someone underage, but eventually he's convinced when he remembers hiring laws cut out at 14 (or equivalent age for their race) and the kid is just about old enough for that (though he dickers over the price a lot). Then the yogi is next, when the yogi proposes he work for free Indie snatches him up on account of him seeming pretty immediately useful.
Then comes Lonnie, who has heard about this vault of last names and is convinced this must be able to help him find his last name, so he makes a pitch that's dramatically different from the other people's in that it went like this, "Can I come with you, can I? Can I? Can I pleaaase?"
Indie reasoned that he'd just about blown through his budget for interns but that he could probably take an unpaid volunteer. Lonnie said that sounded complicated, but that he'd work for him for free if he'd like (Lonnie doesn't even know what an intern is anyway).
So after some shenanigans we left the city and headed for the vault. Along the way we encountered a singular orc that was attacking armed groups of strangers for some reason (it was probably desperate), anyway the orc threw a javelin at me, which was when we got to find out about Indie's special power of inertia stop, which allows him to stop any target in place, locking their center of gravity to where that place is for one round. They can still act, as long as they don't move from that spot. Anyway it apparently works on objects too because he could freeze the javelin, then he froze the orc, and the crows mind blasted the orc or something... And it was all over pretty fast before Lonnie could get there to say hello to the strange orc. There was an argument where the yogi saved the orc then convinced Indie to let him live if he promised not to be a bandit anymore which the orc did. Then everyone looted his stuff.
This lead to more shenanigans when we ran out of supplies, because some of us weren't the best at preparing supplies for a long treck through the desert, so we had to scrounge some stuff up along the way. Did I mention indie brought a pack ponie? Lonnie went nuts about the ponnie and blew a bunch of money on sugar cubes for it.
Anyway, we eventually got to the vault. Searched and opened it, there was a battle with a bunch of giant scorpions, which Lonnie didn't like on account of not liking bugs, then there was a pit trap, which the yogi fell into since he was going first (he was alright), then the rest of the party started carefully navigating the pit by taking a rope down to the bottom, walking across, and the wolf just jumped across since that was easier than climbing a rope. Then after the wolf jumped Lonnie determined he wanted to jump too, so he did... and failed epicly, falling down into the pit, which Indie saved him from with an inertia stop. Lonnie immediately responded by saying he wanted to go again, the party persuaded him to not jump off again by saying, "we'll do it on the way back, ok?"
So yeah, there was a room with some skeletons, and then we found some treasure that we'd been looking for, it was a book of names or something, Lonnie's last one wasn't in there.