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[Descan]

My mums cancer treatments have ended!

She still has a lymphoma in the chest, but that's fairly quiet. The malignant stuff is gone, though!

[Tellemurius]

My mums cancer treatments have ended!

She still has a lymphoma in the chest, but that's fairly quiet. The malignant stuff is gone, though!

beating the shit out of cancer until it goes and hides giving the perfect time to finish him off, congrats man and good luck your mom is almost to the finish.

[Reelya]

Spoiler: Oh the horror. Facts about 'my penis' (click to show/hide)

    An average beaver can cut down my penis every year.
    You should always store my penis in an airtight container in the fridge.
    A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted my penis.
    In Japan, my penis can only be prepared by chefs specially trained and certified by the government.
    Olive oil was used for washing my penis in the ancient Mediterranean world.
    My penis can not regurgitate.
    Donald Duck's middle name is my penis.
    My penis is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
    Baby swans are called my penis.
    When provoked, my penis will swivel the tip of its abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at its attacker.

[Ultimuh]

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[Tellemurius]

i think you need to see a doctor bro......

[Vorthon]

* Vorthon has passed out from laughing too hard.

Oh god. Oh god.

Anyways, LaFotM seems to have settled into a nice rhythm/pace.

[Angle]

This one's even worse -

Spoiler: Interesting facts about people (click to show/hide)

    People can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee. -Really, now?
    US gold coins used to say 'In People we trust'! -Yeah, I wish.
    The original nineteenth-century Coca-Cola formula contained People. -Not surprised
    The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than People!
    Originally, People could not fly.
    Ideally, People should be stored on their side at a temperature of 55 degrees! - Yesss... Optimally
    The horns of People are made entirely from hair.
    Europe is the only continent that lacks People.
    The only Englishman to become People was Nicholas Breakspear, who was People from 1154 to 1159.
    Peoplomancy is the art of telling the future with People.

[Itnetlolor]

Spoiler: Let's talk about someone else (click to show/hide)

   The horns of someone else are made entirely from hair.
   It is impossible to fold someone else more than seven times.
   Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by someone else.
   If the annual Australian someone else crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times.
   Someone else can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time!
   Most bottles and jars contain at least twenty-five percent recycled someone else.
   Someone else can live for up to a week without a head!
   Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like someone else.
   Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than someone else.
   Britain's Millennium Dome is more than double the size of someone else!

Spoiler: What about something else? (click to show/hide)

    Something else can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
    In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and something else.
    Something else cannot swim.
    In their entire life, something else will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
    In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, something else are the victim!
    Something else do not have toes.
    Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than something else.
    Michelangelo finished his great statue of something else in 1504, after eighteen months work.
    Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using something else. Ew.
    The deepest part of something else is over 35,000 feet deep!

Spoiler: And we can't leave without some info about your mom. (click to show/hide)

    Your mom can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak.
    Some hotels in Las Vegas have your mom floating in their swimming pools.
    The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than your mom.
    If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill your mom.
    Until the 1960s, your mom was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
    More people are killed by your mom each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
    Your mom has a bifurcated penis. Now you can use that expression, Ultimuh.
    Europe is the only continent that lacks your mom.
    Native Americans never actually ate your mom; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness!
    Your mom is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees.

[Ultimuh]

Spoiler: ಠ_ಠ (click to show/hide)

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[Scelly9]

Spoiler: Facts about Obama (click to show/hide)

   
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Obama!

    The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Obama.
    Obama is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
    Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Obama in a day.
    Women shoplift four times more frequently than Obama.
    Obama cannot burp - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in his stomach!
    Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Obama'!
    The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Obama!
    By tradition, a girl standing under Obama cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
    Obamaomancy is the art of telling the future with Obama!
    The most dangerous form of Obama is the bicycle.

[Facekillz058]

Okay, is this some sort of random generator thing you guys are using?
Because i'm laughing so hard right now.

EDIT:nevermind, I see what you guys did there.

Spoiler: Facts About Black People, because i'm racist. (click to show/hide)

A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Black People.
Black People are 984 feet tall.
Black People have a memory span of three seconds.
Black People can't sweat!
Black People will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music!
You should always store Black People in an airtight container in the fridge!
Ideally, Black People should be stored on their side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Black People'.
Black People never said 'Play it again, Sam'.
Antarctica is the only continent without Black People.

[Scelly9]

Spoiler: The Generator (click to show/hide)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about The Generator!

    A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted The Generator.
    Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are The Generator.
    The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, The Generator and compline!
    In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, The Generator is the victim.
    The Generator will become gaseous if its temperature rises above -42°C.
    The Generator never said 'Play it again, Sam'!
    By tradition, a girl standing under The Generator cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege!
    You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching The Generator.
    The deepest part of The Generator is over 35,000 feet deep.
    Tradition allows women to propose to The Generator only during leap years!

The only real fact: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl is where the generator is located.

[Facekillz058]

Spoiler: Conan the Barbarian! (click to show/hide)

Only twelve people have ever set foot on Conan the Barbarian.
Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Conan the Barbarian, and frequently rise to the surface for air.
Never store Conan the Barbarian at room temperature.
White chocolate isn't technically chocolate, because it doesn't contain Conan the Barbarian.
If you lace Conan the Barbarian from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
Reindeer like to eat Conan the Barbarian.
Conan the Barbarianicide is the killing of Conan the Barbarian.
Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw Conan the Barbarian into a volcano it would stop erupting.
You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Conan the Barbarian to reach the earth's core!
Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Conan the Barbarian!

Spoiler: Prostitutes! (click to show/hide)

A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but prostitutes can not.
It is impossible to fold prostitutes more than seven times.
You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of prostitutes to reach the earth's core!
New Zealand was the first place to allow prostitutes to vote.
Prostitutes are the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards!
The liquid inside prostitutes can be used as a substitute for blood plasma!
Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are prostitutes.
In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, prostitutes are the victim!
Prostitutes are actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and prostitutes would be as small as a pea.

Spoiler: Wieners! (click to show/hide)

Cats use their weiners to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
People used to believe that dressing their male children as weiners would protect them from evil spirits.
There are more than two hundred different kinds of weiners.
There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat weiners, though it may feel uncomfortable.
Weiners cannot swim.
Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of weiners.
There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of weiners orbiting the Earth!
Finding weiners on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.
In Vermont, the ratio of cows to weiners is 10:1.
When weiners are swallowed, they will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes!

Spoiler: Erections! (click to show/hide)

Two grams of erections provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!
The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention erections.
Scientists believe that erections began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.
There are six towns named erections in the United States.
Olive oil was used for washing erections in the ancient Mediterranean world.
Erections are the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards!
The difference between erections and a village is that erections do not have a church.
According to the story, Pinocchio was made of erections.
Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than erections.
Erections can be very poisonous if injected intravenously.

[Reelya]

Spoiler: Ten Top Trivia Tips about Bay12er's! (click to show/hide)

    Bay12er's will often glow under UV light.
    The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of Bay12er's is blue!
    It takes more than 500 peanuts to make Bay12er's.
    If you lick Bay12er's ten times, you will consume one calorie!
    Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Bay12er's.
    Originally, Bay12er's could not fly.
    The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal Bay12er's.
    The first domain name ever registered was Bay12er's.com.
    American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating Bay12er's from each salad served in first class!
    Scientists have discovered that Bay12er's can smell the presence of autism in children!

[Rose]

Spoiler: ಠ_ಠ (click to show/hide)

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