Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[SirAaronIII]

I do that too, except not Swedish.

[Sirus]

I have developed a new variant on the Swedish exchange student at the mall. Behold my new strategy for telemarketers:

"Hello?"

"HÄLLO."

"This is [...], can I speak with-"

"I AM SORRY SORRY BUT UM DOESN'T SPEAK EENGLEESH. I AM VEESEET FAMEELY EEN AMEREEKAH, I AM FROM SVEEDEEN. PARENTS NOT OF HOUSE. YOU, UH, CALL, HOW YOU SAY IN SVEEDEESH EES SJÅSJÄCHSER. UH, VAN MEENOOT" [aside to nobody in particular in house] "HVAT ÄR SJÅSJÄCHSER EN ANGELSJE?" "LAY-TAH?" "UM, YOU CALL...LAY-TAH. LAY-TAH PARENTS OF HOUSE, YOU CALL. TANK YOU. BYE-BYE!"

By this point they have generally hung up.

What do you do if the person on the other end speaks Swedish?

[FearfulJesuit]

I have developed a new variant on the Swedish exchange student at the mall. Behold my new strategy for telemarketers:

"Hello?"

"HÄLLO."

"This is [...], can I speak with-"

"I AM SORRY SORRY BUT UM DOESN'T SPEAK EENGLEESH. I AM VEESEET FAMEELY EEN AMEREEKAH, I AM FROM SVEEDEEN. PARENTS NOT OF HOUSE. YOU, UH, CALL, HOW YOU SAY IN SVEEDEESH EES SJÅSJÄCHSER. UH, VAN MEENOOT" [aside to nobody in particular in house] "HVAT ÄR SJÅSJÄCHSER EN ANGELSJE?" "LAY-TAH?" "UM, YOU CALL...LAY-TAH. LAY-TAH PARENTS OF HOUSE, YOU CALL. TANK YOU. BYE-BYE!"

By this point they have generally hung up.

What do you do if the person on the other end speaks Swedish?

They won't. Alternatively, put a potato in your mouth and say "ACTUALLY I AM FROM DENMARK"

[Darvi]

Or try singing while drunk and claim that you're from Norway... or something along those lines.

[Sirus]

I have developed a new variant on the Swedish exchange student at the mall. Behold my new strategy for telemarketers:

"Hello?"

"HÄLLO."

"This is [...], can I speak with-"

"I AM SORRY SORRY BUT UM DOESN'T SPEAK EENGLEESH. I AM VEESEET FAMEELY EEN AMEREEKAH, I AM FROM SVEEDEEN. PARENTS NOT OF HOUSE. YOU, UH, CALL, HOW YOU SAY IN SVEEDEESH EES SJÅSJÄCHSER. UH, VAN MEENOOT" [aside to nobody in particular in house] "HVAT ÄR SJÅSJÄCHSER EN ANGELSJE?" "LAY-TAH?" "UM, YOU CALL...LAY-TAH. LAY-TAH PARENTS OF HOUSE, YOU CALL. TANK YOU. BYE-BYE!"

By this point they have generally hung up.

What do you do if the person on the other end speaks Swedish?

They won't.

Why wouldn't they? It's possible. Heck, they could be from Sweden or Swedish descent.

[Darvi]

Tell then "Fuck you" in Swedish and hang up anyways?

[Sirus]

No need to be so rude to the poor telemarketers

[FearfulJesuit]

I have developed a new variant on the Swedish exchange student at the mall. Behold my new strategy for telemarketers:

"Hello?"

"HÄLLO."

"This is [...], can I speak with-"

"I AM SORRY SORRY BUT UM DOESN'T SPEAK EENGLEESH. I AM VEESEET FAMEELY EEN AMEREEKAH, I AM FROM SVEEDEEN. PARENTS NOT OF HOUSE. YOU, UH, CALL, HOW YOU SAY IN SVEEDEESH EES SJÅSJÄCHSER. UH, VAN MEENOOT" [aside to nobody in particular in house] "HVAT ÄR SJÅSJÄCHSER EN ANGELSJE?" "LAY-TAH?" "UM, YOU CALL...LAY-TAH. LAY-TAH PARENTS OF HOUSE, YOU CALL. TANK YOU. BYE-BYE!"

By this point they have generally hung up.

What do you do if the person on the other end speaks Swedish?

They won't.

Why wouldn't they? It's possible. Heck, they could be from Sweden or Swedish descent.

It's so vanishingly unlikely that the possibility is not even worth entertaining. At university, I plan on learning a Native American language of some ilk, and that will work...

[Darvi]

No need to be so rude to the poor telemarketers

Yes there is.

[Sirus]

No need to be so rude to the poor telemarketers

Yes there is.

Ah c'mon, Satan just gets a bad rap. Besides, he's not the one making the phone calls and dealing with people.

[Frumple]

Biggest problem with telemarketers t'me is that their annoying could end up blocking an actually important call. I'd be heavily inclined toward maiming someone if they managed to cut ahead of a call from th'hospital or the cops or somethin' re: a family member or friend that got hurt.

Sure, the chances of it happening are vanishingly small, but it's there, and it's exponentially higher than the chance of me actually buying anything from them.

Unsolicited advertising, especially that's coming in'ta m'home, is... unpleasant. Especially when it's not through something providing some sort of service (websites, TV), to boot. Only bright side to telemarketers is at least it means someone's got a job and might be making at least a little money. It's something. At least when they're not just replaced with an autocaller or whatev'. Guess the technicians keeping it running get something...?

[ToonyMan]

Would you maim me if I called you and blocked an important call?

[Frumple]

Depending on the import, I would be heavily inclined to, yes. Extent of inclination would vary based on exactly what was blocked, though. If it was only somewhat important, I'd merely have an urge to remove a toe or something. If the call would have saved the life of a family member if it'd got through, well. Well. Into the well, in pieces~

Anyway, be civilized and spam email accounts or something instead. Those are easier to ignore and less likely to get in the way of something potentially important.

Are... are you a telemarketer?

[scriver]

Pronunciation coaching:

SVEEDEEN.

Any Swenglish speaker worth his salt in gold would know that it is pronounced SVEHDEN.

SJÅSJÄCHSER

I have no idea what word this is supposed to be?

What do you do if the person on the other end speaks Swedish?

They won't. Alternatively, put a potato in your mouth and say "ACTUALLY I AM FROM DENMARK"

I kind of love you.

[FearfulJesuit]

Pronunciation coaching:

SVEEDEEN.

Any Swenglish speaker worth his salt in gold would know that it is pronounced SVEHDEN.

SJÅSJÄCHSER

I have no idea what word this is supposed to be?

I don't really think it matters. A bunch of ü's and ö's between sje-sounds should do the trick.