I don't know what the deal is with these scripts, but everyone keeps beatboxing.
"Beat" is script-speak for a pause. But I like your interpretation better.
Also, Trek travesties seem to work better when you put in more than one episode. The Travestificator will lag a lot, but the results are more varied.
From the cutting room floor of the
Star Wars original trilogy:
BEN
Be patient, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting us into the cramped prison chamber.
LUKE
Can you hear me, baby? Hold together hunk of nothing. Don't worry. We will deal with you sir.
TARKIN
Terminate your life!
Threepio's arm, as old Ben Kenobi! Boy, am I glad to see something.
HAN
Hokey religions and ancient leathery face, cracked and weathered by exotic bodies and asking the smoldering hole blasted bridge controls, alert and ready for anything...or anyone.
THREEPIO
(to Artoo)
Artoo... that, that stabilizer's broken loose again! See if you can't see the exhaust port, then fires his gun mount, following me begging for help, because it's my pleasure.
EXT. MASSASSI - WAR ROOM
Grant Moff Tarkin, who stands in a tower high above the Yavin landscape with his control center as little droid!
INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON
The Tusken Raider approaches the grossest of the local settlers. But Luke manages to control himself.
LUKE
(Very animated sales pitch in a queer, unintelligible gibberish
EXT. FOURTH MOON OF YAVIN
The battle. The hangar. The two helpless Millennium Falcon zooms into infinity. The bartender shrugs his shoulder, stands over her shoulder.
AUNT BERU
Where am I? I must have hidden the plans they sent you.
LUKE
Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder, throwing parts and supplies in all directions.
EXT. LUKE'S SHIP
Luke's eyes are side by side. Sandpeople did this, all right, kid. But you'd better let her loose.
Luke's lifelong friend is almost too much interference!
INT./EXT. LUKE'S SPEEDER LOT
Ben and the Commander of the canyon, inadvertently making a large jug filled with garbage room, as he runs his hand over them. This is it!
Artoo begins to fondle the detention level
Artoo moves even tighter until it is obviously drunk. Luke tries to ignore the best he can do.
a stormtrooper lies dead at the speeding vehicle, shaking her fist at Luke as he flies past.
Vader's laser rifle slung over his shoulder, stands staring at him with an uncomprehending look on his drink. A short, grubby Human and an even smaller rodent-like beast join the Alliance...
The Death Star aims its massive laser gun in his mid-fifties. His reddish eyes are closed.
BEN
Mos Eisley. It is a haphazard array of grotesque breath mask, which is sitting there!
HAN
(over speaker)
This is the weapons. You can't do any more female advice, we ought to be a lot thinner!
A large dish antenna is built into the trash.
Tarkin moves to an empty hallway in the foliage in a tight formation, tail close behind.
Pursued by the almost continual flash of Ben Kenobi?
Artoo punches his head in disgust.
EXT. DEATH STAR - HALLWAY
Solo, smiling, speaks to Luke over his head. Ben watches them and assumes a defensive position.
EXT. DOCKING BAY
The lovely, little princess-senator. She had been sleeping and I want to think that?
VADER
We'll have no more of this battle station.
Luke becomes intrigued by the old man with new awe. Ben points to something at him.
LEIA
What happened.
BEN'S VOICE
(over speaker)
Death Star. Laserbolts.
EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE - GIANT ASTEROID
The enormous space slug moves its head, watching a readout on the cargo hold.
INT. LUKE'S X-WING
The tiny X-wing races through his face white as a sheet.
Angrily, Han strides down the ramp under a hail of lasers becomes distressed.
The Dark Lord, Darth Vader's breathing gets slightly dumbstruck. With some difficulties...(catches Han grinning at him)
VADER
Perhaps you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force. But beware of the princess. Han begins frantic beeping, Luke loses his balance and disappearing once again.
DACK
Right now I feel like... something alive down the stairway.
Steam begins to undo Chewie's misery, a high-pitched whistle by Luke
Leia tries to work frantically rubbing and slapping Luke's supply cases.
you have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and together, and then a tremendous cave-in almost obliterates the room.
which is advantageous for everybody since our customers are anxious to avoid the numerous flak bursts outside the base of the weather vane
Luke ignites a little nervous lizard. He pats the underside.
MEDICAL DROID
Sir, it will take quite all right. I'll see you in hell!
The younger general stands on his hands. In the background, Artoo ejects a stream of smaller modules on the back of the floating city. Three TIE fighters, all of which strikes Han's face.
Ben has materialized as a real, slightly confused, touching his throat, Captain
The Wampa Ice Creature, lunging at his side and barks a few reassuring words.
HAN
No. He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him while Chewie gets into his outstretched hand and steers her away from the bounty hunters. We don't need that scum.
Suddenly, Vader attacks so forcefully that Luke exploded
BEN
Luke...it is your delusions of grandeur!
HAN
Hi, kid.
(to droid)
There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
Leia doesn't respond. Han bends down to investigate the dead creature, lunging at him) What's going on... buddy?
INT. VADER'S CHAMBER - ANTEROOM
Luke sits up in a blasted area of his ship, Luke sees Wedge in his chamber. A black, insectlike droid
Luke loses patience and grabs onto the galaxy.
INT. STAR CRUISER
While Luke, Leia, and the Wookiee, watching over roots, and racing in and out of the clearing. He ignites Luke's inert form and watches a troublesome gauge. A worried question from the ice planet.
The wind soon fades and then the walkers, flying toward them, beeping frantically prepare an elaborate torture device. Vader surveys the scene warily.
Luke's head spins and bounces, smashes on the bridge with a final, passionate kiss.
OZZEL
Yes, Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to pull the ears off a Gundark.
VADER
If you only knew the power cables.
INT. MAIN HANGAR
Chewie paces under the ship's landing platform. Darth Vader's head spins wildly out of its mouth. The monster tilts its head and begins to thrash about, raving in delirium.
EXT. HOTH - BATTLEFIELD
Wedge's speeder zooms away in agony.
Leia gently wipes his faithful Wookiee copilot, Chewbacca.
PIETT
Our ships have completed their scan of the lever.
LUKE
I've got something! Not much, but it couldn't do better, but I have my own problems.
Vader moves across her head; a grin creeps across her face
YODA
Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could use a good kiss!
RIEEKAN
Reroute all power to the lieutenant.
Threepio, who appear and move toward Bespin's shining city. Threepio. Threepio's with them, Artoo sends some angry beeps Threepio. Threepio's mouth.
EXT. SPACE - BESPIN SURFACE - MILLENNIUM FALCON
The pirateship, the Millennium Falcon tilts steeply, then scratches his furry head. He gets an idea and adjusts some switches.
INT. IMPERIAL FLEET
Darth Vader, Lord of the living room.
Suddenly Luke is a strange, bluish creature.
Yoda sits himself and turns, revealing only darkness. The other end of the Emperor.
Luke and Vader fight in the giant trees at 200 miles an hour, the fires inside. The sounds of the abyss. Finally, Luke is distracted by a gunshot offscreen.
YODA
Unexpected pleasure from us. Right?
Chewie grabs him and begin filling the rest of the nozzles in his body. Han rushes to the terminal and plugs in his embrace, his bolt-shooting ahead, Luke suddenly drops away, screaming into a smaller droid serving drinks
DARTH VADER, LORD OF THE SITH. Vader looks at it, then looks at it, then looks down from his skull.
Let go of your hatred, and you have construction. They fire off a large IMPERIAL SCOUT standing near one of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the golden droid
LUKE
Search your feelings, boy! Let the hate flow through a small Imperial landing platform. Vader moves overhead. Vader struggles with a gulp.
Luke is in torment. He glances at his master's side and pulls a black glove on to a door and pushes a button to open it.
The Ewok nearest him drops his speeder bike, then sits down, with a start and he begins to melt away.
Artoo starts for Luke in the ways of the loudly appreciative creature, SALACIOUS CRUMB. Bib whispers into his ear, pointing his spear up warily and growls affectionately at Han.
Artoo lets out a loud, long, blood-curdling laughter has turned to anger. He raises his hairy paw and volunteered to lead this crazy attack.
Hey, Luke, thanks. Thanks for comin' after me. Now his failure is completed on schedule.
LEIA
(to Han)
I wonder if your feelings have now betrayed and murdered my father
HAN
What, Chewie! Great! Always thinking with your wisdom, I'm sure that's such a good idea.
HAN
Shuttle Tydirium, what is being enthusiastically hugged by Han
HAN
Where am I?
BOUSHH
Just relax for a momentous SNAP.
The Ewoks swarm through you.
Han goes to the prisoner.
HAN
All right?
HAN
Fine. Together again.
HAN
If they don't go for this, we're gonna die here, you know.
HAN
You, too.
EMPEROR
I told you to remain on the floor.
EMPEROR
(laughing)
Good. Use your aggressive feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit. But they could be mistaken...about a great many things.
VADER
(skeptical)
He will come to me?
EMPEROR
(to Luke)
Doesn't sound so bad.
The Emperor as he strokes Leia like a pet cat.
LUKE
Leia! Leia's my sister.
Leia holds back her tears as Luke makes a thumbs-down gesture.
74 EXT EWOK VILLAGE - NIGHT
Silence. The room has fallen into a tense hush. Jabba stares at his dead master as he slowly from their sockets and his voice, though cheerful, seems weaker.
Author
Topic: RAW travesties and AI: "Auto Revenging Ass" (Read 364894 times)