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[Vlynndar]

Do I have a purpose? Am I at least a pawn in your plot? The tiniest cog in the clockwork of your masterpiece?

Did Skelly got vapourized in vain?

(Did I just mix the english ou with the american ize?)

[zchris13]

Vaporized skelephant.  Some dead redshirts.
In the far distance, some steampunk braineaters that just mill around.
An eerie presence somewhere in the east.
Far behind you, a few redshirts, possibly led by the sub- or sub-sub-CO.

Who's side is the sub sub CO on?
The stempunk zombies belong to BRO here, avoid them.  zombies!!!!
Eerie presence WHAT?!?

[Errol]

Vaporized skelephant.  Some dead redshirts.
In the far distance, some steampunk braineaters that just mill around.
An eerie presence somewhere in the east.
Far behind you, a few redshirts, possibly led by the sub- or sub-sub-CO.

Who's side is the sub sub CO on?
The stempunk zombies belong to BRO here, avoid them.  zombies!!!!
Eerie presence WHAT?!?

I TOLD you about the vampires, bro!

Subsub CO - same as SubCO.

Everyone has a purpose, Vlynndar, and yours bears the name Yama Xanadu. Wait, that was enough spoilers.

Screw that. Anyone else want cryptic hints on their destiny?

[zchris13]

Infest skelephant

[Errol]

Wait, the vaporized one?

[Vlynndar]

Yes, Errol, I already knew that I was doomed.

[tehstefan]

Okay you may be right. Bringing out the sword chucks is in no way intelligent or mundane. But with my five centimeters of dust, and my sword chucks, nothing can stop me!

[zchris13]

Let's pretend that it got disassembled instead, 'K?

Let's just say that beam weapons wouldn't really VAPORIZE a skeletal creature, it would pass straight through! Maybe dealing a little damage here and there, but really? Vaporized?

More like disassembled.

[Vlynndar]

The ToonyTunnelMiningLaserCraft3000 strikes The Skelephant in the upper body!
It explodes in cogs!

[Errol]

Let's pretend that it got disassembled instead, 'K?

Let's just say that beam weapons wouldn't really VAPORIZE a skeletal creature, it would pass straight through! Maybe dealing a little damage here and there, but really? Vaporized?

More like disassembled.

You. Underestimate. The. Beam. It is, like, doomsday device strength.

[Vlynndar]

Let's pretend that it got disassembled instead, 'K?

Let's just say that beam weapons wouldn't really VAPORIZE a skeletal creature, it would pass straight through! Maybe dealing a little damage here and there, but really? Vaporized?

More like disassembled.

You. Underestimate. The. Beam. It is, like, doomsday device strength.

Okay, so how am I supposed to defeat this?

[zchris13]

I got it.  Don't worry.  Okay... so... go fight something, I guess.

Vaporized skelephant.  Some dead redshirts.
In the far distance, some steampunk braineaters that just mill around.
An eerie presence somewhere in the east.
Far behind you, a few redshirts, possibly led by the sub- or sub-sub-CO.

These are all enemies, correct?  Go investigate the zombies.

Continue walking away from where I started in the meadow.

[Errol]

Let's pretend that it got disassembled instead, 'K?

Let's just say that beam weapons wouldn't really VAPORIZE a skeletal creature, it would pass straight through! Maybe dealing a little damage here and there, but really? Vaporized?

More like disassembled.

You. Underestimate. The. Beam. It is, like, doomsday device strength.

Okay, so how am I supposed to defeat this?

They don't aim. They rotate, and only shoot when there's plot device or something in front of them that isn't too far away (read: as long as you are staying away from the metaphorical penalty area, you are fine), they also are not able to defend against aerial attacks. Be creative.

zchris, the redshirts and related beings are not hostile. And, if Vlynndar manages to fix the walkie-talkie, he can tell his guys to not attack the guy with the goggles.

[Vlynndar]

the guy with the goggles.

The guy with the goggles and the donkey ears and a rose blooming through his cranium.

[Errol]

I'm cutting out the damn statuses for now. I just want this to be done.

zchris13 - Continue walking away from where I started in the meadow.

(4) Okay, that's no difficult task. You manage to not mess it up. So you walk further away from your starting position. You can see a pyramidal structure made out of black rock somewhere in the distance. BORING.
So you decide to mess around with your goggles. (6) You see a large quantity of buttons and other switches mounted on the side of the goggles, so you naturally flip all of them. A HUD appears in your view. It reads:
ENEMY RADAR - TURNED ON
DANGER RESPONSE EFFECT - TURNED ON
HEAT VISION - TURNED ON
VELOCITY METER - TURNED ON
VITALITY FUNCTIONS - TURNED ON
INFODUMP DELUXE - TURNED ON
...and so on. It clogs up a significant part of your vision, so you punch the goggles. It seems to fix the effect.

tehstefan - Use swordchucks, on these creatures!

(3) You carefully take out the swordchucks, groom them, dust them off and polish them. These things take time, y'know.

Jack_Bread - Wait for the bomb to go off, then try again. 

(4) You spend the wait time playing Rock-Paper-Scissors with yourself, but it always comes up tied in KNIFE-KNIFE.

Eagle - Keep healing and following the cans. 

(5) "Heal! Heal! Heal! Man, that gets boring. Heal!" Oh well, you get clerical experience outta it.

And lo, you arrive on the streets of CAN TOWN. To your left, the training fields are situated. To your right, the city hall is situated. If there's anyone causing it, he's at city hall, you guess.

Dies-Horribly - Okay, examine the get out of jail free card and the laser grid card.

Oh wait, also fix the walkie talkie.

Man I seem to want to do a lot...

(4) The get out of jail free card appears to be a normal get out of jail free card in that it allows you to escape from any situation that confines you. It also, coincidentially, was the one used by Chuck Norris to win the Annual Poker Tournament back in '96.
The lightning grid card appears to cause a large amount of lightning shooting rods to emerge from the ground that establish lightning connections to each other. Collateral inevitable.

(5) You TAP Gutsman's Ass to make it disappear (shudder) and remove the renmant shaving cream. You test it by screaming 'SAVE THE KEYBOARD' in the sleeper channel. It appears to work.

You then draw stuff...

(4) Velvet Shooting Star
(2) Green Uno Nine


Barkeep - Fix cane by banging it on medic.

(5) After one SMACK to the medic, the thing fires off a laser, so it is completely functional!

Medic - Use the RANDOM ARROWS!

(5) She fires a barrage of three random arrows.

(1) The first one transforms into a toad.
(4) The second one temporarily blinds Jack_Bread.
(6) The third one flies off into space.

(knifing: 3) Jack_Bread doesn't see a damn thing.

Squad Grunts - Continue following.

(5) They follow with utmost discipline.

Squad Guards - Get Nobby to follow already.

(6) They use some improptu engineering to transform the flamethrower into a rocket-driven... thing, and ride it with the paralyzed Nobby.

Squad Nobby - Stare in disbelief.

(1) He is too shocked to do even that.

- turn number six, let's get dangerous

has ordered his army to advance.

Dog - Find a treee.

(5) He finds a tree at the edge. That tree subsequently gets blown away.

Rabid Moles - Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!

(3) They tone down their speed a little, lest they get grinded into meat.