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Nothing.

At all.

Seriously.

[Jackrabbit]

I was wondering when you'd notice. It's a bit of a misnomer, it should read 'long dead tranvestite corpses'
So that's that cleared up.

[Jackrabbit]

Transvestite corpses are coming soon!

Isinzimkel

“Hey, over here!” called Kain. He was looking at something. A flower?
“I’ll be damned,” said Vilien. “I didn’t think I’d ever see anything but snow ever again.”
“And over here, it’s a stream!” said Kain excitedly. “It must be spring!”
“Aye, it is,” said Bjorn, walking up. “You’ll be seeing a transformation soon enough. This land is many things, some worse than others, but by the Gods, it’s beautiful in springtime.”
They were on the outer edges of the forest, although it was difficult to tell. A thick bunch of trees obscured their vision.
“Lads, I reckon this be the end of the forest,” called Barbarossa. “Through these trees here.”
They pushed their way through the trees and came out on the edge of an enormous hill.
“Oh…” said Walter, astonished. The landscape was breathtaking. A never ending landscape of soft, rolling hills and small clusters of trees greeted them, as did small villages, smoke rising from many of the houses. To the west, the sea stretched out, enormous and blue. To the north, unforgiving mountains blocked their vision and to the east, the landscape continued on, broken at last at a distance almost too far to see. The entire area seem to be entering spring, as snow gave way to grass, a dark green color. Several dozen miles away, there lay a city, and out side the city, a short distance away, was a camp, smoke rising from it…


(Okay, so this is basically a zoomed in DF map. The towns are actually quite small, even the ones with multiple images. The city is not that big and the lines represent the sieging army, which is not fantastically enormous either. It does look a bit odd, I admit, but whatever)

“Sieging force,” said Bjorn after looking at it closely.
“Shit,” swore Barbarossa. Workerdrone grinned widely.

**

“We may as well go down,” said Bjorn. “We aren’t on the receiving end this time. We’ll just be another mercenary band.”
“How many bands would you say were down there?” asked Kogan.
“Two to three hundred,” replied Bjorn. “If I had to guess, I’d say five to seven thousand men, maybe more. We really need to start recruiting.” He added as an afterthought.
“Five to seven thousand men? And who, pray tell, would be defending the city?” asked Kogan. Behind him, Workerdrone was mouth the words ‘seven thousand’ to himself and grinning like a madman.
“Difficult to say,” replied Bjorn. “But a force of this size is new. They must have tried to buy every company they came across, and you can’t keep something like that a secret. My guess is the forces on the inside number at about five thousand, if their warlord has the gift of planning ahead. But I can’t tell.”
“I think the real question here is, whose side should we take?” asked Workerdrone.
“Well, logic dictates, the ones who pay us enough,” responded Bjorn. “But we’d need to assess who has more people, who would provide us with the most goods, all that.”
“I say we side with the besieged,” said Tamunshin.
“Oh? Why?” asked Walter.
“Because you said this land was productive,” said Tamunshin to Bjorn.
“Aye, this would be one of the most productive lands there be,” said Bjorn. “That’s another thing we need to take into account. They’ll almost certainly be better armed.”
“So there’s that,” said Tamunshin. “But also, won’t their warlord have access to all of this? If this invading force wins, they’ll take longer getting all their new resources together and will probably pillage a bit first. We stand to gain more, if we side with the besieged.” and I’ll have access to their crypts, during the siege and afterwards, he didn’t add. The crystal was giving him nightmares. He was sure it was doing it on purpose.
“We get down their,” said Barbarossa firmly. “We check it out and only then do we commit to a side.”
“Alright. We should head out tomorrow,” said Kogan. “They won’t be going anywhere.”
“Aye,” chuckled Bjorn. He became serious. “A force of this size hasn’t been seen for a long, long time. A warlord may be making a grab for power and if so, war could soon erupt.”
“Well, it’s too quite around here anyway,” said Workerdrone.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

My gods, it's huge! In any case, I notice that Oldbeard hasn't said anything. Why is that?

[WorkerDrone]

Seven Thousand? Only if I can fight them on a open field. By the way, I'd like to bring this concept of Gore Troopers back to ground. I'd say gore troopers with axes smash enemies with armor more then hacking (that would be the unarmoured for sure) so when dealing with armoured foes, I'd like to hear more descriptive combat for everyone. Blades shouldn't always break through a defense, axes shouldn't be a fist of god that no armour can stop (hence where the smashing comes in, and not the sheer hacking) and the opponents actually start to show a bit of fight. Sure their redshirts, but their soldier redshirts, who do drills. I want to see some of that action, hell yeah.

[Jackrabbit]

My gods, it's huge! In any case, I notice that Oldbeard hasn't said anything. Why is that?

He's drunk.

Seven Thousand? Only if I can fight them on a open field. By the way, I'd like to bring this concept of Gore Troopers back to ground. I'd say gore troopers with axes smash enemies with armor more then hacking (that would be the unarmoured for sure) so when dealing with armoured foes, I'd like to hear more descriptive combat for everyone. Blades shouldn't always break through a defense, axes shouldn't be a fist of god that no armour can stop (hence where the smashing comes in, and not the sheer hacking) and the opponents actually start to show a bit of fight. Sure their redshirts, but their soldier redshirts, who do drills. I want to see some of that action, hell yeah.

This is true. I promise more descriptive and inventive combat.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Oldbeard: So's I was walkings downs the forest whens some little PUNKS from that big buncha ants down there in front of that big stove tells me that I reminds them of their grandpa. Thens, they calls me some curses in their filthy human. Well, I showed them what fors I did! So, whats going on with you fellers? Hey buddy (talks to pole) let me gives ya a hug! (he then proceeds to take a bite out of the pole) HA! Fooled you didn't I? Waits just a minute.... you aint's me wife!

Yes. Quite drunk.

[WorkerDrone]

OFF OF WHAT?

Must have been ALOT of Mead.

Like.

ALOT.

[Vilien]

If this does not end with all of us dying then I will be quite surprised. Also, the second speaking line? I'm moving up.

[Labs]

I love Oldbeard.

[Limul Thak]

Limul Thak's Journal

This one will be quick, because I'm revisiting bad (and fake) memories almost every ten minutes now. The sooner I use Navi to kill, the better, because his elven wiles were keeping the Lich Crystal at bay... We currently stand between two armies, and are leaning towards helping the defenders instead of the besiegers. Did I mention the siege? Ah, well.

Gah, Armok! The memories are back! They're back back they're back back back back [repeats many times before reading this:] they're b-

Attention to any who read this. Do not help this poor soul. He is mine! The fool elf is only a distraction for me, but this young mind is all too vulnerable without him... I shall give back his facilities in a minute, but first I must say this:

Lay off of the dwarf. He belongs to me now.
[merely reading these icy blue words gives the reader a dense shiver down the spine, as if a ghost were breathing on your back]

...Huh? Anyways, Oldbeard's as drunk as hell. I think I may need some mead now as well... oof, my head...

~LT

Yeah... we'd better get into a fight soon, or I'll eventually become a gibbering vegetable. Won't you help save a dwarf?

[Zancor Mezoran]

Hey, Jackrabbit-After reading these 53 epic thread pages over the past few days, I would like to commend you (and all the other contributors) on your excellent work.  That being said, I would also like to join the epicness, and have formulated a character:

Name: Galdon Mezoran

Age: 34

Race: Human (I'd rather him be a dwarf, but seeing how scarce they are in these parts, I thought he wouldn't have come this far as a dwarven adventurer without being enslaved or killed, as he's not as badass as some of the other party members)

Profession: Maceman Adventurer/Freelance Mercenary/Cartographer/Smuggler

Backstory: Galdon was born into the family of a smuggling ship captain, and lived with them happily until he was 17.  During that time, he learned the ways of combat and the ways of sailing, and even in his young age he was relied upon by his fellow shipmates in various dire situations, and he performed well.  But on that one fateful day, the family vessel pulled into port only to find that the town was under siege.  Being able-bodied fighters, the crew of the ship flung themselves into the combat, defending their friends, family, and business partners from the invaders.  But they were far too outnumbered to succeed, and as his friends and family were mowed down one by one in the fighting, he fought on valiantly.  At last the few survivors were rounded up at the port by the invaders, given a ship and basic supplies, and forced to set sail.  Even at his young age, Galdon was the most experienced sailor on board, and therefore became captain.  For eleven years they sailed, smuggling, exploring uncharted lands, making and selling new maps.  Then, when he was 28, the crew gathered enough funds to hire a small army and rent an armada.  They sailed the fleet into their old town, and the crew and mercenaries fought their old enemies-the invaders of Galdon's hometown.  In the end Galdon's force won the battle, condemning the enemy survivors to the same fate they gave to his crew eleven years prior.  He was voted unanimously to be the new mayor, but he declined the offer-he had made up his mind that he wanted a new life, to see the world and what it has to offer.  And so he took with him some supplies, his mace and chain mail, his maps, and some gold, and set off for a new adventure.  Since then he has been many places and done many things, and after six years he has arrived in the province of Isinzimkel as a mercenary.

P.S.  I would prefer that Galdon is added in the upcoming fight, in the manner of joining Eli Eremo during the fighting itself; e.g. he battles someone such as Humaan or Limul Thak that he may be evenly matched with, and is talked over to their side because neither is able to defeat the other in combat.

P.S.S. If it's too late for another person to join or there's already too many people in the story, then that's fine-but I'll still stick around to read the epicness.  And, if there is someone you must kill off, I'd prefer it wasn't me, but I'd probably be less unhappy if it was me than I would be if it was anyone else, as they're already integrated into the storyline, and I'd be kind of pissed if you killed off a fully fleshed out character instead of a new dude.  Although it's your story.

[muwahahaha]

From the darkness of Tamunshin's mind:

My Lord works in mysterious ways, but his message is clear. Once these pathetic mortals have been defeated, I will send their souls to him. All beings serve the Immortal Lord in the end.

The time approaches. He is gaining power every day and soon he will be powerful enough to drive the evil and chaos from this world. Peace will finally come to this wartorn land, and I will finally have my own peace which I have sought for so many years.

[Jackrabbit]

From the darkness of Tamunshin's mind:

My Lord works in mysterious ways, but his message is clear. Once these pathetic mortals have been defeated, I will send their souls to him. All beings serve the Immortal Lord in the end.

The time approaches. He is gaining power every day and soon he will be powerful enough to drive the evil and chaos from this world. Peace will finally come to this wartorn land, and I will finally have my own peace which I have sought for so many years.

I hate to interfere with he Journals, (if I don't, it's probably canon) but Tamunshin is unwilling to work for [ERROR]

Oh, and Zancor, thanks! I really appreciate it. Sure I'll add you. If you want a dwarf, you will have to wait but a human can go in the next update.

[Zancor Mezoran]

Alright, thanks.  Being a human is fine-as I said, I think it fits more in this area (obviously) than a dwarf, and the backstory for Galdon is not compatible with dwarfhood anyway.

[CJ1145]

Kogan's Journal

Our time as a mercenary band has been brief, but eventful. We've slain a lich, and now my blasted comrades are trying to lead us into a battle we'll likely have no effect in. Payment is useful, but I cannot see the point of it when our number hardly registers as a fraction of the numbers participating. The risk is too great.

Later that day...


It's a miracle!

I've finished reading my grandfather's journal. I think his final entry before his death tells it better than I ever will.

My time's growing short. 367 years, I'd say that's pretty good for a dwarf. My son's son is growin' quickly, the boy Kogan's just like his father. Loves to take the field with an axe, but he's still a child. No way Kol'l let him out there yet. The Baron's been making a lot of demands of us lately, and he's started putting that Hammerer of his to good use. We've lost plenty o' dwarves, and it unnerves me. Someone this mad with power wouldn't have a second thought about stealing all the wealth Winddimples has gained over the years; so, I came up with a solution.

Last night I had all the crafts, gold, coins, anything we'd ever made into a massive vault hidden deep within the fortress. There are two traps I built into it, so that no one'd ever take the treasure without rightfully earnin' it. First is the lock. It doesn't take no key, but rather, it takes the blood of a Truebasements dwarf to open it. This ensures that only one of my own heritage can take their share. The second trap guarantees no graverobbers will ever take it either.

When you open the vault, there will be no treasure. It will appear as if the room is without any loot or plunder whatsoever. But do not despair. In my younger days, I was good friends with one of the elven merchants, and her cousin was actually one of the High Mages of the Elven Queendom far to the south. I got a hold of that cousin, and convinced him to put a charm over the entire vault. The treasure will only appear if you say, in our own dwarven language, "I come in peace, but with blood on my axe; Your trap is well built, but I see the cracks." Then, your heritage will be revealed to you. I hope whoever is reading this is of my own blood, and that you make sure no one else ever gets this journal to read.