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[hinric]

"Cilob Íkthagerib, Stonecrafter has created Shovethotung, a raw adamantine toy boat!"

Edit: Immediately followed by several bards taking off after some kobolds out of the tavern... moments before the drawbridge was raised up in response to the incoming siege.

[TheBiggerFish]

Flying bards?

[Detros]

Flying bards?

Go to the new fort, they said. Calm countryside, they said. And now it's raining cats and dogs yesterday, raining kobolds and bards today ...

[Bumber]

Flying bards?

A flock of bards?

[MinerMan60101]

Whilst building a well one of my 2 Legendary miners fell down. Took me a while to find him, as the pool was two layers deep.
When i finally managed to put a slab for him, the instant before a dwarf placed it he became a ghost.
  -a little mad that my flashing happy face turned into an @

[hun]

I had a werecoyote dwarf locked in small room (for the case I decide to do some SCIENCE with him). Then once I decided to do something with him and remove constructed wall. Shortly I completely forgot about that, distracted by something else. At the next full moon, he of course bit some dwarfs, and I failed again - didn't track everyone he bit. Long story short, finally I had several guests in tavern infected.

At this point, it became too annoying to manage situation on individual level (because I couldn't directly give orders to visitors), so I just set my military ready and grabbed some popcorn.

It have taken about 3 full moons for situation to be resolved. Every single visitor had deceased, and around 40% of my citizens as well (total population dropped to around 30 dwarfs), but infection gone with all its carriers. The tavern looked terrifying: every tile of floor was covered by blood, and a couple decades of corpses were there as well.
If I would play .34 or earlier version, this most likely would end with tantrum spiral and the end of the fortress. So, I'm kinda lucky to be able to continue play my fortress.

Also, funny fact is that I found vampire among dead visitors (I didn't know I had one). Poor naive guy, he maybe thought it's gonna be a resort for him... he didn't even had time to drain anyone (I hadn't noticed any accidents by the time of blood slaughter, at least).

[FantasticDorf]

I forgot to seal up the 2 z layer high caverns properly, meaning that one of my citizens got mauled by bats that flew over my walls and traps, quite a notorious bat fellow it struck down my mechanic and presumably beat up a troll to within a inch of its life.

[Untelligent]

Started digging a waterwheel waterway in the caverns to power a pump stack. Miner ended up in the trench he was channeling out and got waterboarded. Instead of walking back up the slope he was next to, he climbs up the sheer wall on the other side of the channel, climbs *away* from the dry ground, and ends up on a fungiwood. Then he jumps across the lake to another nearby fungiwood, misses, lands in the lake. Climbs up the second fungiwood and gets stuck, surrounded by water. I order a bridge built over to him, but all my other dwarves are busy praying so the parkour master eventually gets bored and finds his own way down when I'm not watching.

[Dwarfy McOwen]

Just a "lil" one. Crap load of dirt hovering above my brand-new outdoor tavern that housed roughly 26-27ish permanent residents (8-9 or so were skilled mercenaries so I had them in their very own squad with top'o'the line equipment) so naturally I wanted to treat my guests well and stop that dirt from dripping into their tea and crumpets/biscuits (Toady NEEDS to add flipping tea to the game... Tea is life). So I began chanelling and then channeled out that last block but woops... White sand can apparently fall through 4 floors of bauxite and kill everyone within. Including another civilization's noble. They were NOT too happy about that... Flipping hippies set their Lionators on me

[gunpowdertea]

(Toady NEEDS to add flipping tea to the game... Tea is life)

Agree. Fully.
The plant is there, we just need to figure out a way to make tea out of the leaves. I guess we could mod in a new reaction, taking tea leaves (which we need the dorfs to harvest), water, and a mug (or a barrel...). Getting the leaves to be picked is more work though (I guess, have not looked at the raws of the plants). I know what I will try to do at home tonight.

Edit: And to keep with the subject...
I finally got around to start piercing the aquifer (5 z levels...) in a second location to make an entrance to a guard tower. Except... I drowned three miners. The first location was totally easy, but this one... I basically did channel out a bit too much, and my pumps could not really cope with it. Result: dorfs being pushed around and into the channels for the next z level that I was installing grates above.

[Kaljapelto]

Built a ballista without knowing how it works.
Oh boy was it a mistake. I set it to fire on will, which apparently makes it shoot at anything. Yes, anything.
My pasture was in front of it. So was my best melee squad. It started shooting. Livestock got slaughterekt.
A few civilians too. Luckily the soldiers are, well, my best so they blocked the bolts. Only one axeman got slightly injured.

Moral of the story, always look up how things work before trying them out.
Fucking dwarven magic auto-turrets from hell.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalěs]

But when you want them to work on goblins, they do nothing.

(BTW, "fire on will" means "fire the ballista in its direction, immediately". Not "fire once you see a hostile come". In an ironic twist, they'll actually stop firing and run away when they see a hostile, even if it's not able to get them, and even if they're off-duty legendary militiadwarves. "I'm a civilian, so I run away from bad guys, right?" Idiots.)

[AzyWng]

But when you want them to work on goblins, they do nothing.

(BTW, "fire on will" means "fire the ballista in its direction, immediately". Not "fire once you see a hostile come". In an ironic twist, they'll actually stop firing and run away when they see a hostile, even if it's not able to get them, and even if they're off-duty legendary militiadwarves. "I'm a civilian, so I run away from bad guys, right?" Idiots.)

How the hell do you even get the damn things to work anyway?

[Untelligent]

There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

[SimRobert2001]

There's likely some range that's close enough to hit goblins at but far enough away to not flee their post in terror.

Yea, anywhere from 250 squares, to about 20, 30, iirc. Butvits so innacurate it still borders on useless.