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[FirestormXL]

I had a wonderful fortress going, fended off every siege, fabulously wealthy, etc.
My prior diagnostician had died due to circumstances that I forget. Having a fresh one I picked a dwarf best for the role. I figured I'd best train him up.

There was a back entrance for the wagons filled with trade goods to come into the fortress attached to a bridge. Now this little bridge was simple, over a 2 Z pit and triggered by a lever, it was right next to the hospital and had a ramp up on the far side.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but I loaded it up with Dwarves... short useless ones that can't work yet, about 10 of them. My plan was to pull the trigger and let the doctor train up on their bruises... Apparently Dwarven children are the polar opposite of cats, as when dropped any amount of distance a fair number go seem to go bottom up. If memory serves there were numerous broken arms, broken legs and amazingly enough 2 broken skulls/brains, and of course, plenty of bruises.

Coincidentally I had just executed all of the useless pets I could to save on frame-rate. A story to itself I made an execution hatch far above my vast trapped bridge entrance over a 10 deep pit. upon filling it with the various pets they all seemed to just cling to the edges and not plummet when I opened the trapdoor... So I opted for a spike/lever solution instead, this worked much better.

Needless to say the fort rapidly devolved into a tantrum spiral *Insert facepalm*, the kicker on this little story is that I had accepted becoming the capital earlier in the year and the queen arrived during the worst of this fighting... For science sake I can state that she did not seem even the remotest perturbed by this as she walked through the halls of fighting Dwarves, just as stately and composed as she could be, alongside children whom's legs were ripped off and then used to beat to death the legless engraver (a profession I cannot help but always give to the dwarf with the least limbs).

I saw the end of this fortress (when I see a loss of around 85% of the population in one go I tend to abandon) and proceeded to load the queen into the first pet execution drop. She did not cling to the walls. As far as I could tell the dwarves were neither moved to tantrum harder, nor stop.

I caught much of it on video. I was going to make a youtube video of it but got bored, I'm sure I have the footage around somewhere.

[FrisianDude]

so you're saying the queen felt right at home?

Also why are marksdwarves so stupefyingly bad at following station orders?    They suddenly charged while I tried to pull a fast one on a troll with the goblin army. The troll went in the river as did four marksdwarfs. I want it to go just a bit less stupid, pleaaaase oh game

[FirestormXL]

Yes, she seemed completely unaffected by the chaos surrounding her. She just walked around the fortress mildly while every other dwarf participated in full throttle tantrum spiral murder bashing. Maybe because she arrived just when the tantrum was revving up she didn't have any actual relationship to anybody at the site yet?

[Valikdu]

A titan comes. No scary stuff in the description (dust, gas, webs...), so I just send a squad after it.

"Soldier X has been struck down" - 6 times

I zoom in to the event... yep, there'a  pile of corpses and a pile of... webs? But there was nothing--- oh. The titan is a spider, so it naturally has the webbing. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[FantasticDorf]

Suprise jabberer chasing crundles off screen into my traps to get around them. Joining forces momentarily jabberer and remaining crundle forces then proceeded to hack away at my commander i stationed just in case they got close.

Eventually knocking my militia commander unconcious from blood loss, JUST as (i still haven't wrapped my head around military composition and military game structure just yet, so its just bare bones to-hand people) a big furry earwig of a forgotten beast with a poisonous bite rolls in conveniently at the worst possible time.

Clever girl. My heroic hammerdwarf sidekick militia squaddie then proceeded to smash the decieving ball of feathers into dust and significantly weaken the forgotten beast taking out its legs with powerful blows (before being disembowled) until a stray miner broke its thorax (central body) with a pickaxe, fortress saved. Crisis averted.

Id like to think in his death throes from within my murderously unhygenic and not nearly complete hospital which is just a large room with some splints and crutches thrown in one corner he's secretly proud the fort's honour was restored for the price of blood. Given that i had a pretty tight ship going in relation to who does what jobs now distrubed, i retired it.

[FirestormXL]

2 more here!

     Had a medium sized fort that connected with the caverns, now I had taken pains to carefully train and arm 3 squads of crossbow-dwarfs as well as digging the actual entrance to the caverns at the end of a long corridor, through 10 stone doors, across a field, overshadowed by a long ledge. Well a forgotten beast eventually arrived and it was an inorganic humanoid. My first inorganic, I was kinda scurred and excited as I had read they were rather tough. I sent my archers to their guard burrows on the ledge and awaited the beast. One by one he bashed through the stone doors, slowly reaching the surface and my fortress. I was anticipating a battle of epic proportions against a weakened Forgotten beast and  my guard stationed within the fort.

     First arrow tore the mud beast in half.


     Another moment was during an epic fort I had built in a mountainside overlooking a vast desert. I used the sand to make glass disks because for some reason I am OCD about Spinning disk traps, and only glass ones at that... The entrance was plastered with them so I never had a real "standing" army, more of a single squad, I also had a thriving steel industry and had many full suits with plenty of weapons. I even had a legendary Zinc battleaxe which I gave to a particularly strong, tough dwarf. I mean this guy described and had the stat line of Arnold.
     He was an immigrant who I immediately promoted to captain of the guard and decked out in masterwork steel along with the Legend axe. He reigned as Captain Shwartzendwarf for many a year, once a Megabeast resembling a scorpion with fur appeared, I sent him alone to take it on, just to see if he could. There was a long fight involving many dodges and hacks but eventually he hacked bit by bit off until the beast stopped moving. This dwarf was to date the most epic of dwarfs I ever had, even in his death.
     I can only guess as to how this actually happened but I think he decided to take a nap on my legendary mechanism glass disk trap centered in the middle of my fort, that or Urist Mclittlemac somehow connected with a tantrum induced knockout punch because he was living in a partial sand castle for years with only wine to drink.

[cochramd]

Today I learned that the computers at the CAD lab run DF faster than my computer at home (which to be fair is 6 years old). Time to start saving up for a new CPU....

[tranquilium]

He must have been made of mean stuff to dive that deep without being dead, any idea what he was wearing? It might have slowed down the rate of how he burned (If you want to make more magmanauts for reference)

You might actually be able to survive for a short while IRL because of the Leidenfrost effect, assuming you can avoid the convection at the surface. The part I question is if you could even sink in liquid rock if you tried. That and the obvious not being able to see through it.

If you've fallen in magma in adv mode, you'd see that it actually takes quite a while to die even while not falling. The cause of death used to be blood loss before pulping was implemented. I don't know if you die any more quickly now.

You probably can't sink into magma without a lot of effort (you know, if you can actually survive the stuff), considering magma has a density more than twice of water and your body is about the same density as water.

Anyways, I love the training spear danger rooms and I don't build any forts without it. However, once a while I would accidentally draft a married female dwarf into the military. Babies and dangerous room doesn't mix well.

[pikachu17]

my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?

[Bumber]

my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?

What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.

[Libash_Thunderhead]

I setup a big ammo stockpile in the barracks to collect scattered bolts. Almost everyone ran out to pick up bolts before they all stopped because they were interrupted by kea!
It was funny to watch though. All dwarves stood there staring. When a kea flew low, the mob rushed forward before it took off again.

[Rose]

my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?

Did you recently install DFHack?

Because DFHack is how you get the date showing all the time.

[pikachu17]

my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?

What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.

when I'm looking at my fort in the main view it's in the upper-right corner

[Bumber]

my face-palm was when I noticed the date at the upper right corner of the main screen and status screen/
self, how did it take you so long to notice this?

What do you mean by "main screen"? Units screen? Because it's not visible while you can see your fort.

when I'm looking at my fort in the main view it's in the upper-right corner

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

It's DFHack.