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[WillowLuman]

Goblins, after 1027 years of having trained war Giant Toads, still have not trained them to stop drowning their riders.

[malimbar04]

Two war dragons behidn fortifications on rope. Hell yes! they don't breath fire at enemies in that case. uh oh. Two slaughtered war dragons. No mods, just lost two fricken awesome creatures.

[vyznev]

Then I had an odd thought and looked at the orders screen. It seems at some point I had inadvertently changed "Dwarves Gather Wood" to "Dwarves Ignore Wood".

I do not know why that option is there. I can't think of any use for it. But it's there and it seems I used it.

I suspect it's left over from the days before burrows existed, back when the closest thing we had to civilian alerts was "dwarves stay indoors", and that was so broken as to be nearly useless unless you also forbade everything outside (since the dwarves would run to the entrance, go "eek, sunlight!", run back inside and repeat).  Having an option to tell the dorfs "no, you don't need to bring those logs inside right now" would've been a useful feature back then.

Come to think of it, it could still be potentially useful if you, say, had all your dwarves busy hauling wood to a stockpile when what they should be doing was sealing the hole that was letting water / magma / goblins leak into the fortress.  Of course, just deleting the stockpile(s) they were hauling it to ought to do the trick just as well -- although that could get messy if you had a lot of stockpiles set to accept wood.

[Scorch]

Maybe making splints and crutches out of lead is a bad idea.
Make the slow moving wounded even slower. Brilliant.

EDIT (because no posts since I made this one!)
I just realized my dorfs were filling the disconnected cistern I have for my well by drawing water out of the well and dumping it into the filling hole.

Argh.

[MattStriker]

I just had a noble go from perfectly sane (well, by dorf standards) to berserk in under 10 seconds.

He decided to forbid the export of bone goods. Which was...annoying, since I had a very profitable bonecarving and gem-encrusting industry going. Annoying, but possible to work around.

Except he decided to ban those exports a few seconds before a human caravan, completely loaded down with a massive amount of bone stuff they just bought at my fort, left the map.

I think he got about a bazillion unhappy thoughts all at once. Tantrum, tantrum, berserk. Ended up breaking two workshops, three tables, a chicken and a war dog before some military dwarves finally arrived on the scene to put him down.

The whole mess has also dropped about a dozen other dwarves from 'quite happy with their lot' to 'definitely keep an eye on' status...

[Doctor_Whiteface]

Not quarantining a baby that had had enough shit happen to him that he immediately went berserk on transitioning from "baby" to "child."

Also not quarantining the mom.

Also giving my dorfs a place to meet at and socialize and form friendships at in the first place, something that I've never done before Machinespires. It led to my first (and first fatal) Tantrum Spiral.

So from now on, no meeting rooms. Dorfs get their individual 2x2 rooms with bed, cabinet, and rock coffer. They can socialize with their spouse if they arrive on the map with one, otherwise socializing will have to happen while they're eating.

[Catsup]

urist McRetardedWoodcutter goes to the other side of my wall to cut down a tree that was blocking a wall construction, despite that side being all restricted traffic and the inside being normal traffic. He then proceeds to get chased and kill by 3 zombie rattlesnake men.

[StruckDown]

Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.

[Kumquat]

A face palm moment for a very unlucky kobold thief:

The Merchant grabs The Kobold Thief by the first toe, left foot with his right hand!
The Merchant punches The Kobold Thief in the right lower arm with his left hand, bruising the muscle!
The Merchant punches The Kobold Thief in the head with his left hand, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Kobold Thief has been knocked unconscious!

That's three different merchants. The thief ran into the depot after getting spotted. Merchants clearly do not like thieves.

[EBannion]

Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.

Yeah, sometimes when the base creature has the ability to web, it doesn't end up in the description. Jerks.

[MrSparky]

Embark on riverbank near tower
Start with invasions off to allow preparation of SCIENCE before FUN
Get overrun by giant peach-faced lovebirds
Everybody dies before first caravan arrives

[Exitstrategy]

Poor fortress planning leaves a 1x1 downward stairwell to my mines, where a giant cave spider wanders up from, webbing a craftsdwarf in the stairwell. Send in the military! Entire military gets trapped with the craftsdwarf... fuck... dig them out! 4 miners get trapped with the 11 other dwarfs. Cave spider is a dick and sits without doing any real attacks and webs for a month straight. I dig a channel to circumvent the webs and must designate a pond. It takes another month of dumping water down a hole to leak into the stairs to free the military and the other dwarves.

The stairwell is sealed off to avoid another mishap and life starts to resume. Then the cave in occurs, re-releasing the spider, only to repeat the fiasco in the hallway that has become 1 square wide in the collapse.

[MattStriker]

Literal face palm moment: Dwarf axeman fights goblin raiders around my desert oasis. One tries to hit him with a spear, so the axeman dodges...

...face first into a tree. The goblin was using a copper spear. The dorf was in full steel. No way that thing would have hurt more than the 'dodge'...

[MrSparky]

Literal face palm moment: Dwarf axeman fights goblin raiders around my desert oasis. One tries to hit him with a spear, so the axeman dodges...

...face first into a tree. The goblin was using a copper spear. The dorf was in full steel. No way that thing would have hurt more than the 'dodge'...

Yeah, nobody looks before they dodge. It's not at all uncommon for duels on the lip of a volcano to end with a dodge over the edge.

[uzushio2047]

My discovery that I can  mod my dorfs to NO_EAT, NO_DRINK, and NO_SLEEP...
unaware that this will lock them in a permanent catatonic state whenever they would normally starve to death.