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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209957 times)

Drazinononda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7590 on: April 14, 2013, 07:03:18 pm »

My discovery that I can  mod my dorfs to NO_EAT, NO_DRINK, and NO_SLEEP...
unaware that this will lock them in a permanent catatonic state whenever they would normally starve to death.

Also no happy thoughts from drinking good booze.

And more Fun: Any time they pass out for any reason, they never wake up. Better hope your legendary soldiers never suffer so much as a broken toe.
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Children you rescue shouldn't behave like rabid beasts.  I guess your regular companions shouldn't act like rabid beasts either.
I think that's a little more impossible than I'm likely to have time for.

Hetairos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7591 on: April 14, 2013, 08:22:31 pm »

Finding out a forgotten beast has the unlisted ability to shoot webs as they waltz over my webbed traps, and into my fortress.

Let me guess... a spider FB with poisonous bite?

Id Utalrisen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7592 on: April 15, 2013, 03:10:25 am »

Embarked on a river, wagon is right on the river, and so are a NEST of alligators. Somehow manage to get everyone into a corner field burrow zone unharmed, but.. all the tools and food are still in the wagon.
By mid autumn, we had somehow managed to punch and kick each of them to death (when they were alone, and while everyone survived on berries and pond water) and finally they got their wagon back!.. but no one would work.

turns out, the alligators had bitten ALL of their hands off. I'm sure their handless corpses made pretty snowmen when the carvan finally showed up.

Another goodie:

Make amazing fort with legendary army (all skills maxed out) A general's dog dies, and he flips out, which starts a tantrum spiral. I abandoned the fort after my expertly-trained army is throwing tantrums, and punching everyone's head through.

I start a  new fort on the same continent, because I liked the biome layout, and make an equally amazing fort. Then literally, that group of soldiers I fled from show up as migrants, still in horrible moods, and then precede to punch my new mayor in through the face, and 3 of the most likable dwarves in my new fort..
« Last Edit: April 15, 2013, 08:32:32 am by Id Utalrisen »
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terko

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7593 on: April 15, 2013, 08:49:46 am »

I start a  new fort on the same continent, because I liked the biome layout, and make an equally amazing fort. Then literally, that group of soldiers I fled from show up as migrants, still in horrible moods, and then precede to punch my new mayor in through the face, and 3 of the most likable dwarves in my new fort..

That's why you never abandon, let it crumble and die in honor.
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Catsup

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7594 on: April 15, 2013, 02:19:00 pm »

a magma crab 30 Z levels below shot a fireball at a peasant trying to collect a plant near the magma pool. The peasant ended up dodging the fire ball right into the magma pool, i didnt realize he was dead until the magma sea layer got revealed more and i checked the deceased list.

Z_the_slayer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7595 on: April 15, 2013, 09:23:02 pm »

Mayor demands a lead cabinet for his room.
Mayor ALSO mandates 3 steel spears.

So I ordered my smelters to smelt some galena for the lead, until one of them is beaten by my guard captain.  Apparently, my mayor was mad that I prioritized his stupid cabinet over 3 more extra spears.

WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
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tahujdt

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7596 on: April 16, 2013, 08:30:32 am »

Mayor demands a lead cabinet for his room.
Mayor ALSO mandates 3 steel spears.

So I ordered my smelters to smelt some galena for the lead, until one of them is beaten by my guard captain.  Apparently, my mayor was mad that I prioritized his stupid cabinet over 3 more extra spears.

WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
A fine pewter bed and a robin bone door.
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Drazinononda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7597 on: April 16, 2013, 02:50:38 pm »

Decided to try for a more impressive aboveground portion to my fort this time around. Had a courtyard a quarter the size of my map, with a wall all around it thick enough to put rooms in. Portions of the wall crossed over some pools, so I floored them over to prevent swimming mounts from sneaking through that way.

When my first goblin siege showed up riding giant olms and toads, I felt a bit proud of my foresight. They'd have to funnel through the gateway, right in front of the barracks where my majority-legendary militia trained full time.

Then I noticed that the swordsgoblins were in a corner of my fort that is not exactly near the gate. How did that happen? Well, long story short: despite flooring over the pool inside the wall, I neglected to floor the portion of the water that extended past the wall into my courtyard.
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Children you rescue shouldn't behave like rabid beasts.  I guess your regular companions shouldn't act like rabid beasts either.
I think that's a little more impossible than I'm likely to have time for.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7598 on: April 16, 2013, 07:00:48 pm »

Spent an entire season with my dwarves standing around in the cold, cursing my miners, because I didn't realize the extensive designations I'd set weren't connected to a walkable tile.
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Mortis

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7599 on: April 17, 2013, 01:03:38 am »

One of my migrant cooks just punched right through the head of some beserking bonecrafter, with only dabbling striker. He then promptly goes insane himself for "witnessing death", and for "losing a friend".
Thats right, he just punched his friends brain  all over the wall.
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To expand on this, I'm hoping someone can explain to me why my babies appear to be coated in axel grease...

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7600 on: April 17, 2013, 07:36:34 pm »

One of my migrant cooks just punched right through the head of some beserking bonecrafter, with only dabbling striker. He then promptly goes insane himself for "witnessing death", and for "losing a friend".
Thats right, he just punched his friends brain  all over the wall.

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Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

gbrngfol

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7601 on: April 17, 2013, 10:37:55 pm »

A very strange one just happened to me: The dwarven caravan came to trade as usual and the diplomat goes to talk to my expedition leader/miner. then the expedition leader channels a section of floor square on the diplomat's head. After the diplomat regains consciousness he talks to the leader as if nothing happened, then leaves, very angrily. Maybe I should try a heavier rock next time.
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Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7602 on: April 17, 2013, 11:24:41 pm »

I had a diplomat hit by a ballista bolt while meeting my mayor.
He lived, took my requests for beehives and rum and then left, punching a badger's brains into the elf blood moat on his way out.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7603 on: April 17, 2013, 11:38:29 pm »

I had a diplomat hit by a ballista bolt while meeting my mayor.
He lived, took my requests for beehives and rum and then left, punching a badger's brains into the elf blood moat on his way out.

Damnit! I already used up all my drawing time for today!
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Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Safe-Keeper

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7604 on: April 18, 2013, 08:25:06 am »

Safe-Keeper cancels post -- wrong thread.
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