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[Mr Space Cat]

The Giant Aca Ethithirino Ucucoaca has come!
Me:The hell is a Giant Aca? Some kind of anteater?
      ...5 minutes later, after some unsuccessful Google searches...
      Oh, it's a Giant named Aca.
/enter facepalm here/

[Psuedonym]

I assigned my buffalo to a pen, outdoors, with plenty of grass. So how the hell did it manage to starve to death?

[GenJeFT]

My biggest face palm moment.

Vamp #1, kill attempt 1
I got my first vampire migrant yesterday and locked him in a room by himself for "science", then surprisingly he gets elected mayor, while in a room with no door or any other way out in the basement of the trade depot and never having met anyone. So I decided to try and drown him not realizing they cant drown, cut a hole in the ceiling, designate it a pool, and have dwarfs drop buckets of water on the vampires head and leave it at that. Suddenly Dwarf McFarmer has been found drained of blood! Turns out the vampire climbed out the hole in the ceiling when his room filled with water and escaped to start feasting on my dwarfs (funny thing is the first dwarf he killed was actually a candidate to be vampire #2, proving the 2nd guy was not a vampire). This time my dwarfs actually wittiness the attack and the hammerer arrests the guy just before he finishes off another victim. So he was sent to prison.

kill attempt 2.
So now the vampire is in jail, while he is there I put him in his own squad, and give him station orders onto a draw bridge, then dismantle the rope, while telling all dwarfs to go to the alert station. Once the vampire gets on the bridge the lever is pulled, the vampire goes up a whole 1 z level and falls back down again with only minor injuries. But now he wont pay attention to station orders and he wanders off to another bridge. Once he is on the bridge I have my dwarfs pull the lever again! Nada, the bridge is not hooked up yet. Attempt 2 is an abysmal failure.

kill attempt 3.
Out of options with him still ignoring station orders I decide to have him attack a caravan guard, which he surprisingly does, and wins with no problems. I was hoping it would trigger a loyalty cascade with the caravan and the caravan would tear itself apart (yay free stuff!) while killing the vampire. Well, nothing happened, and now the guy is ignoring ALL orders, but the annoying liaison is still following him around. So after he runs into the corner I give him an order to attack the liaison thinking he wont do it (because he is ignoring everything else). So... he attacks the liaison, and kills him. NOW the loyalty cascade begins! With my own fort.

Suffice to say, 1 dead guard, 1 dead liaison, and many dead dwarfs later I savescum. Caravan must have had a nice show as the riot went down.

To add insult to injury, the vampire survived.

Save corrupted. Goody.

[brydson]

In my most recent fortress I've discovered magma for the first time in 5-6 years of playing DF. Naturally I was pretty excited to get a smelting/metalworking industry built, with luxury bedrooms above the magma pipe etc.

During all this designating and watching I neglected to remember I was in the middle of channeling riverwater to a new reservoir and well... the next thing I know water is streaming from the well flooding the entire dwellinghall and drowning a good two dozen dwarves in a matter of seconds.

Sorry about that guys, I got distracted... /facepalm.

[MattStriker]

Created a shark in testing arena. Wondered why the shark died instantly after spawning. Discovered that I'd forgot to clear the item list from when I'd made a dwarf earlier...shark got hit by a full set of steel gear, including a big spinning battleaxe.

[Ace_Warbringer]

While building a semiauto dump for useless crap into my volcano i decided to add some rollers in for testing, never having really used them before. i set everything up and let the little guys go.

2 mins later and three dwarves are down, one suffacated before i figured out something was wrong.

so i look at the combat reports and all mached up,
minecart has collided with a dwarf, dwarfs skids on ground.

checking out my dump i watched a dwarf walk up and push the cart into the rollers. only for the rollers to spit the cart back at him and launch him across the room.

minecart has collided with a dwarf, dwarfs skids on ground. 

(Facepalm) "wrong direction Ace"

[notquitethere]

My biggest face palm moment.

Vamp #1, kill attempt 1
I got my first vampire migrant yesterday and locked him in a room by himself for "science", then surprisingly he gets elected mayor, while in a room with no door or any other way out in the basement of the trade depot and never having met anyone. So I decided to try and drown him not realizing they cant drown, cut a hole in the ceiling, designate it a pool, and have dwarfs drop buckets of water on the vampires head and leave it at that. Suddenly Dwarf McFarmer has been found drained of blood! Turns out the vampire climbed out the hole in the ceiling when his room filled with water and escaped to start feasting on my dwarfs (funny thing is the first dwarf he killed was actually a candidate to be vampire #2, proving the 2nd guy was not a vampire). This time my dwarfs actually wittiness the attack and the hammerer arrests the guy just before he finishes off another victim. So he was sent to prison.

kill attempt 2.
So now the vampire is in jail, while he is there I put him in his own squad, and give him station orders onto a draw bridge, then dismantle the rope, while telling all dwarfs to go to the alert station. Once the vampire gets on the bridge the lever is pulled, the vampire goes up a whole 1 z level and falls back down again with only minor injuries. But now he wont pay attention to station orders and he wanders off to another bridge. Once he is on the bridge I have my dwarfs pull the lever again! Nada, the bridge is not hooked up yet. Attempt 2 is an abysmal failure.

kill attempt 3.
Out of options with him still ignoring station orders I decide to have him attack a caravan guard, which he surprisingly does, and wins with no problems. I was hoping it would trigger a loyalty cascade with the caravan and the caravan would tear itself apart (yay free stuff!) while killing the vampire. Well, nothing happened, and now the guy is ignoring ALL orders, but the annoying liaison is still following him around. So after he runs into the corner I give him an order to attack the liaison thinking he wont do it (because he is ignoring everything else). So... he attacks the liaison, and kills him. NOW the loyalty cascade begins! With my own fort.

Suffice to say, 1 dead guard, 1 dead liaison, and many dead dwarfs later I savescum. Caravan must have had a nice show as the riot went down.

To add insult to injury, the vampire survived.

Save corrupted. Goody.

Damn that's some bad luck: maybe you should have put him under bridge and lowered it onto him.

[Psuedonym]

I ragequit DF for the night because I'm sleepy and frustrated about not being able for some reason to transfer shells to my bone stockpile, and just now as I've quit the game I realise that the reason is the outdoor refuse stockpile the shells are sitting in is actually two stockpiles that I forgot to merge, and I'm trying to pull them from the wrong half.

[h.scorpio]

Thought it'd be nice to set up a statue garden, so that all my unemployed dwarves at least have something to spend their free time in. Added a waterfall that drains into the first cavern-layer out of boredom.

Now I have to shut it down to prevent it from flushing anymore dwarven children down the drain.
Sigh, suppose I'll add some grates...

[Dutchling]

Sigh, suppose I'll add some grates...

No no no! Start a parallel fortress in the caverns! Dump leftover food and clothes down the drain as well as all your children, so only the toughest ones (those who survive to adulthood) may join your real fortress!

[h.scorpio]

It's a 50-z-level drop to the cavern floor... to survive this, the kids would have to be very tough.
Or undead, and then I wouldn't want them coming back upstairs.

[WillowLuman]

It's a 50-z-level drop to the cavern floor... to survive this, the kids would have to be very tough.
Or undead, and then I wouldn't want them coming back upstairs.

If I had room in my sig...

[Sugarlevi]

A dragon wandered unto my  map. Joy!
Naturally I wanted to catch it. So I started by locking up my fort.
But  apparently I had forgotten to build a bit of wall, so there was a diagonal connection at my outer upper level. Near my trading depot. Where the humans were. With crossbows.

Dragon roast for everyone?

[Flanderbland]

Just recently started playing, and I'm still running my first fortress (about 4 years in). There's bound to have been a lot of facepalm-moments so far, but I think I'm too oblivious to notice most of them...

There are, however, two that comes to mind directly:

* Channeled water from an underground river to my fortress to create a well, but forgot to turn the flow off once I had enough water... Result: A partially flooded (and later mud-filled) dining room, 3 drowned dwarves and a lot of emergency-dug rooms for the purpose of draining the water...

* Forgetting to turn off animal hauling on my legendary carpenter. Result: "<Carpenter name> cancels Move Animal: Dangerous Terrain". The animal wandered too close to the moat, my carpenter fell into it and drowned... Along with one child. Sure, it was "just" a carpenter, but it was my first legendary crafter, and the speed he made chairs... I miss that guy

[locustgate]

I tested out my new surface water collector without checking to see if there was anyone in the reservoir. I lost my legendary mason, a farmer, and my 2 well skilled swordsmen, all who were cleaning out the reservoir of stones.

Kind of an old one
I tested out my new bridge without locking the door to it, I lost my mayor's cat, wife, and one of his kids, he promptly killed my best gem cutter.