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[Vehudur]

Near the start of this fortress I had a miner get injured in an accident.

She recovered fine, seemingly, and even became a dwarf mother.

Now, two and a half years in *Miner has succumbed to infection*.

Queue facepalm.

And the baby just went berserk and broke a dwarf's spine before a war dog tore it apart.  o.0

[thegoatgod_pan]

And the baby just went berserk and broke a dwarf's spine before a war dog tore it apart.  o.0

sad could have been a soldier.

Ghost picks up a raw turtle and idles inside a wall. He's put to rest, and now I have a wall "decorated" with raw turtle.

Reminds me of this little renaissance porcelain masterpiece (those aren't skilled copies, those are the real deal)

[JackOSpades]

Hi guys I just had my own face-palm moment this is only my third fortress (first I quit when the instructions in the compleate newb tutorial wouldn't work, turns out LNP changed some key bindings... second due to goblins because thought the drawbridge lever needed to be RIGHT next to the bridge to work   )
anywho after some minor hang-ups I got this fort up and running and its a thing of beauty dispite having NO Iron, copper, or flux stone.... I have Zinc and Lead and if you don't like that there's Lead and Zinc. but after 10+ years of game time I've gone all the way down to the magma sea, just recently found "cotton candy".

now on to the face palm the Umpteanth million Siege rolls up and I think nothing of it. I hit the alarm to get civilians inside and let my patrolling military take care of it as per usual (9 axelords vs 10 goblin squads, defiantly outnumbered Should a brought more goblins.) and I didn't send out the rest of my military no need right? nor did I close the drawbridge...
 You see where this is going don't you. sure enough while their comrades were being slaughtered ONE goblin squad bum rushs the gates I only find out when I get the message that the stray wardog chained at the entrance has been struck down...and find ten or so goblins INSIDE my fortress, past everything but the gates between the trade Depo and my central stairway. I Immediately lock those and tell one of the squads not patrolling to go kick some behind, which they are oh so happy to do. one lone goblin flees for his life through the barracks and past it making it out onto my archery range before being struck down. I since its open to the sky I forbid his corpse as a reminder and as tribute to the farthest any of the green skinned scum has ever made it inside this fort.

I station the squad right past the bridge to intercept any more unwanted guests and go back to the main battle still in progress for what has got to be the saddest moment in dwarf fortress history. as one of my multi-ledgendary axelords is struck down by a goblin master lasher, seems the Idiot hero in his rush to "take Joy in Slaughter" had neglected to pick up the shiny new "cotton candy" helm i'd assigned him and against  all reason had instead grabbed a copper cap due for melting. he was hit in the head by the silver whip  breaking his upper spine, he quickly suffocated.
the sad moment? after the last goblin falls the Commander of my legendary axelords picks the fallen dwarf up without having a single hauling labor, nor recover wounded enabled and despite the fact that the squad was still suppose to be on patrol duty and carries the body on a funeral procession thru my fortress down to its final resting place in tombs.    Farewell noble dwarf your duty's finally done.

[Vehudur]

I just saw the dumbest dwarf I have ever seen.

And he died, naturally.

This mason was going out of his way to idle in the freshly finished aquaduct.  I attempted to extract and lure him out many ways, and even allowed the party in the statue garden to continue in hopes that he'd go attend it.  No luck.

Even when he did manage to get out (due to that dwarven compulsion to build things) he'd run back in before the hole could be sealed.

It was the dumbest and most annoying thing I've ever seen in this game.

By far.

I got sick of him and just let him drown, then.

[tryrar]

I finished moving the lever to my main bridge into Shakenarch(the one that spans the volcano caldera) from the dining room to my new statue garden, so I decided to test it to make sure it works....right when my bowyer decides to haul some wood from outside and is crossing over it! Good thing he was actually relatively useless...I've been making crossbows out of the plentiful iron I have, and a bonus! He discovered candy on his way down!

[SixOfSpades]

He discovered candy on his way down!

As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

[tryrar]

He discovered candy on his way down!

As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Ohh, this is so sigged!

[EmeraldWind]

He discovered candy on his way down!

As another Bay12er recently wrote on the "scouting" abilities of dwarves falling through magma,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
                        Oooh, adamantine!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Ohh, this is so sigged!

On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.

Urist: Noooooooooo! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns! ... Waitasecond! HEY GUYS! THERE'S ADAMANTINE OVER THERE! PRAISE BE THE MINERS! *sizzle*

Honestly, this is one of the single most funny things in DF to imagine.

[Tiruin]

Adamantine, a metal where the very sight of it can cause brief lapses of invulnerability.

Face Palm - I used them for warhammers. Battle Warhammers.

[Vehudur]

Low density styrofoam-metal for hammers?

Give one to your hammerer.

[ggamer]

I think I just messed up in Genesis. Within five seconds of embarking.

Sea monster was drinking from the river. Sent my baere-bottom skilled axedorf to kill it.

It didn't end well. He died from three hits.

[Vehudur]

I accidentally put masterwork steel spears in my danger room.  It went approximately as well as you'd expect it to.

A second one:

"UristMcThirsty has died of thirst."   What?

I had trapped a miner on accident and never freed them.

[zubb2]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

  2. You cannot construct walls on constructed floors. If you want to construct a wall where you have already constructed a floor, remove the floor ({d}-{n}) and build a wall instead. You can build walls over open space, as long as a dwarf can move orthogonally adjacent to the desired tiles.
 

That.

Dwarf towers yay!

[Garath]

Urist McCutter cancels fell tree, interupted by carp

[Urist McKiwi]

Latest facepalm: Having an idea for a Stupid Dwarf Trick using gaseous zinc, lava, an aquifer, nobles, menacing spikes and triggered cave-ins.........but having neither a computer on which to build it, or paper to write down exactly how it would work.....so I've lost about half the concept.